T Nation

Bill of Non-Rights

The Bill of Non-Rights

   The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. 

   "We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. 

   We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights." 


   ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything. 


   ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be. 

   ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy. 

   ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. 

   ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care. 

   ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair. 

   ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure. 

   ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. 

   ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights. 

   ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from. 

   (lastly....) 
   ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!! 

I agree with most of those statements. However, “In God We Trust” did not appear on paper currency until 1956, two years after “under God” was inserted into the Pledge of Allegiance. For the Senator to assert that it has a long history is rather disingenuous. It is true that it appeared on some coins earlier, as did other sundry phrases, such as “Mind Your Business.” The original US motto, chosen by John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Jefferson, is E Pluribus Unum, celebrating plurality, not theocracy.
As to the assertion that this country was founded on the belief of one true God, (i.e. Christianity), I find that to be misleading. True, Jefferson believed in a God, but he was not Christian. Also, the Constitution, arguably the foundation of our nation, makes no mention of God or Christianity. In addition, in 1797 the US made a treaty with Tripoli, declaring that “the government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.” This was written under George Washington’s presidency, and approved by the Senate under John Adams.

But then again, I do nitpick sometimes.

[quote]ToShinDo wrote:

But then again, I do nitpick sometimes.

[/quote]

I think you did a good job this time. I would also like to know if it was the “liberal bed wetters” who banned ephedrine because of “hearsay” yet allowed much more dangerous prescription drugs to hit the shelves and stay there long enough to cause major terminal illnesses before pulling them. Maybe the “liberal bed-wetters” banned all pro-hormones allowing for more destruction of freedom of choice in favor of more restrictions. Do these examples of deferment of parental responsibility in order to control the actions of grown men and women in this country come from “liberal bed wetters” as well? Hey, just asking.

[quote]bigflamer wrote:
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. [/quote]

I’m sorry, but this particular “article” is a crock of shit.

Oh yeah, there’s opportunity out there alright, you just need to know where, when, and how to look and take advantage of it. There’s not a lot of public shools out there helping with that.

Other than that I actually agree with the ideas behind most of these, just not the wording.

[quote]ToShinDo wrote:
The original US motto, chosen by John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Jefferson, is E Pluribus Unum, celebrating plurality, not theocracy.
[/quote]

But, E Pluribus Unum means “Out of many, One” Not exactly celebrating diversity. More like celebrating the commonality between different groups of people.
Something that is sorely lacking today.

[quote]he wrote:

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.

  [/quote]

Translation: I have a deep contempt for underpriveledged minorities.

[quote]fooligan wrote:
he wrote:

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.

Translation: I have a deep contempt for underpriveledged minorities.[/quote]

Why do you automatically think of minorities when you read that?

Edit: For shits and giggles

http://www.snopes.com/language/document/norights.htm