T Nation

Bike Sex Case Sparks Controversy

"A man has appeared in court for trying to have sex with his bicycle.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

He was sentenced to three years on probation and placed on the Sex Offenders Register at Ayr Sheriff Court."

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/2007/11/15/man-had-sex-with-a-bicycle-89520-20113517/

Hell, I’d probably hit it…

How do you have sex with a bicycle? All I can picture that thing from South Park, but that’s more the bicycle fucking you.

The last thing we need is a bunch of illegitimate little bikelings running the streets. I hope he used protection.

[quote]mazevedo wrote:
The last thing we need is a bunch of illegitimate little bikelings running the streets. I hope he used protection.[/quote]

He had his helmet on.

I hope he was trying to pull a prank on someone and the wrong person walked in. Otherwise he’s got some issues.

[quote]Schwarzenegger wrote:
I hope he was trying to pull a prank on someone and the wrong person walked in. Otherwise he’s got some issues.[/quote]

Yeah but I bet it won’t be long before fetish porn sites start featuring bicycle sex.

Sounds like he should have gotten one of these…

Maybe he was bike-curious and just enjoying a ride.

[quote]texasguy2 wrote:

Yeah but I bet it won’t be long before fetish porn sites start featuring bicycle sex. [/quote]

Yawn… tame and boring.

Much better is dragons having sex with cars (I shit you not): http://jalopnik.com/cars/ewww/dragons-having-sex-with-cars-306619.php

Unfortunately, the follow up link has since died… but it was a sight to behold. I’ve never looked at Puff the Magic Dragon or my Pontiac the same way since.

[quote]chrisa1002 wrote:
Maybe he was bike-curious and just enjoying a ride.[/quote]

Good pun.

Before having sex with bikes, it’s a good idea to make sure you can handle bars.

People who distribute bike porn are just filth pedalers.

Geez, there’s some serious punnilingus going on around here!

Between those and the bike sex, I’m beginning to tire.

I think they should legalize marriages between a man and his bike:)

[quote]pookie wrote:
Between those and the bike sex, I’m beginning to tire.

[/quote]

We should stop before we have to recycle the same puns.

[quote]Acebgd12 wrote:
pookie wrote:
Between those and the bike sex, I’m beginning to tire.

We should stop before we have to recycle the same puns.[/quote]

I’ll stop wheel soon now.

Maybe I spoke too fast…

Lance approves of this thread.

[quote]pookie wrote:
Acebgd12 wrote:
pookie wrote:
Between those and the bike sex, I’m beginning to tire.

We should stop before we have to recycle the same puns.

I’ll stop wheel soon now.

Maybe I spoke too fast…
[/quote]

Uggh. I want to brake my computer now.