I bet all the time with this crazy old bastard I work with. He’ll bet on anything. We usually only bet a dollar because the money is not the point. The point is watching him get mad as hell when he loses. Right now I have four of his dollars in my wallet which I carry around just to fuck with him. He has none of mine.
The best dollar I got was one time we were checking out a future job site in a retirement community, standing around in the parking lot waiting for somebody and I guess he was having a Vietnam flashback (guy did 4 tours of duty so you know he’s fucked up in the head) and he asked me if I could hit a “man sized target” if it was standing in a little clearing on a ridge on the other side of an artificial lake. I said sure, it was only about 500 or 600 yards tops. I said I could probably even hit it without a scope (that was a lie). He said I was stupid and it was at least 1000 yards.
Then he started talking about one time they were at some firebase in Nam and some “little gook fucker” came out on the next hill and start waving at them and mooning them and shit, and everyone started shooting and they could see the bullets hitting the folliage and kicking up dust down in the valley. He said even the M60’s couldn’t reach that far. Finally they called in the mortars and dropped a few around the guy and he ran off.
So we bet a dollar, then argued about the over under for the next 2 hours. Finally we agreed that if it was less than 600 yards I won, and over 1000 he won. I borrowed a range finder from my uncle and the next day we drove out there, on the clock of course. After a few minutes of arguing we agreed on a specific tree and I shot the range. 588 yards. He didn’t believe me. I handed him the range finder and he scrunched up his face and kept fucking with it. “This thing isn’t working!” I took it from him and looked and it still had the last reading on it, 589 yards (he had shifted back a yard, trying to cheat).
His eyes turned blood red. He tried to snatch the range finder from me, probably to break it, while yelling obscenities in spite of all of the elderly people shuffling around. I hussled him into the van and we sped off. For a while I thought he was going to stab me. Laughing my ass off didn’t help calm him down. Best dollar I ever earned.