T Nation

Beta Male Providers


#1

as the years have gone by, I have witnessed firsthand, an astronomical increase in the amount of beta-male providers.

while this term carries with it a number of different definitions.. id like to focus on the group of beta males who could quite possibly by THE MOST beta, of all betas.

now, I don't want this to break down into a discussion of alpha vs beta etc.. guys talking about how much they can bench, and what have you..

perhaps for the sake of discussion, I should describe my friends who have (for some reason) become beta-male providers..

friend 1:
28 years old, police officer, dating a single mother (who is quite large) while her baby-daddy resides in the corrections system.

friend 2:
23 years old, no college education, works in retail at Best Buy, dating a single mother of 2 children from 2 different fathers (LOL).

friend 3:
25 years old, college degree in bullshit, engaged to a single mother who he's been dating for 6 months.. looking to be married before they hit the 1 year mark of "togetherness" (they always talk about how much they love each other, on facebook).

im writing to see if any T-nationer has any insight as to why a male would do this to himself.. spending his time, money, effort, etc, to raise another man's child and care for his refuse? and accepting all the bullshit that comes with being a stepfather?

ive always read that being a stepfather is the MOST thankless job ever.. so why do these "men" sacrifice their best years for this shit?

TL;DR

why are some guys so beta that they date/marry single mothers?


#2

No offense, but from the way you write, you give me the impression that you possess quite a bit of beta qualities yourself. Is your avoidance of women a fear of inevitably ending up in the same position as the people you have described above?

If I am wrong, I apologise.


#3

Someone might take your things. Play station, futon etc. be careful. 1/2 of your salary too


#4

White knights, and welfare queens go together like small blocks and chevys. They give each other purpose, fulfillment, and status in the herd. Single moms are heroes, and it takes a “real” man to date them.

I don’t think “beta” is the right word for it. It is pretty high risk. High risk behavior is “alpha” territory.

Or maybe they just enjoy the company, and conversation, and feel that these women are each unique individuals with whom they make romantic connections, and they’re optimistic enough to take a chance on love. Who knows. People are silly.


#5

I loved being a step-father. I must be have caught the beta.


#6

I think it all comes down to numbers. The girl that was an 8-9 before having a kid lost some value. She is now an option for the guys that can normally only land that 7’s. So it is a matter of getting a higher quality girl at the expense of raising someone else’s kid.

I personally can’t see myself raising another man’s child. Not because of the kid itself but because of all the shit that comes with the entire situation.


#7

Awesome to see that raising another man’s kid is inherently idiotic. Adoption agencies are just beta converters, taking nice dominant alpha males and seducing them into loving a kid regardless of genetic make-up, making them beta.

It’s pretty beta to raise any child with a mental handicap as well. A real alpha would leave that child to die in the elements and go find another bitch to impregnate, seeing as the previous one was obviously unfit…

The least ‘alpha’ thing anyone can do it is let the idea of ‘is this alpha or beta?’ be a serious factor in their decision making. It’s probably not a good call to seriously take social cues from 4chan and TheRedPill


#8

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
Or maybe they just enjoy the company, and conversation, and feel that these women are each unique individuals with whom they make romantic connections, and they’re optimistic enough to take a chance on love. Who knows. People are silly.[/quote]

Wow, Broncoandy, you’ve pleasantly surprised me!

And, I agree.


#9

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
Or maybe they just enjoy the company, and conversation, and feel that these women are each unique individuals with whom they make romantic connections, and they’re optimistic enough to take a chance on love. Who knows. People are silly.[/quote]

Wow, Broncoandy, you’ve pleasantly surprised me!

And, I agree. [/quote]

The thing is that they knowingly go into the situation without love present at the time. It isn’t like the guy falls in love and then finds out she has kids after he is emotionally involved(unless she’s shady as fuck).


#10

[quote]The-German wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
Or maybe they just enjoy the company, and conversation, and feel that these women are each unique individuals with whom they make romantic connections, and they’re optimistic enough to take a chance on love. Who knows. People are silly.[/quote]

Wow, Broncoandy, you’ve pleasantly surprised me!

And, I agree. [/quote]

The thing is that they knowingly go into the situation without love present at the time. It isn’t like the guy falls in love and then finds out she has kids after he is emotionally involved(unless she’s shady as fuck). [/quote]

Yeah, you are not “in love” when you find out that she has kids.

Lets be honest, a man who willingly pursues that, will probably believe that he has little to no other options.

He may even bullshit himself that what he feels is “love”, but in reality its probably desperation.


#11

Also, for a single father I can kind of see that it would make sense.


#12

I’d love to know if all the posters in this forum and countless others who are always talking about betas, alphas, female ranking systems, income, female advantage, have female company or are in or have had serious relationships.


#13

I dated and married a single mother. Raised Her daughter as my own since she was 1.5 years old now she’s 8. Best decision I ever made my whole life. She is a great woman.


#14

[quote]doogie wrote:
I loved being a step-father. I must be have caught the beta.[/quote]

is the father dead?
is he a monstrous asshole?
were you in the child’s life from a very young age?

if ‘yes’ to any of these… I can see how the process of raising another man’s child could be bearable.

i don’t personally know of any stepfathers who have necessarily ‘enjoyed’ being a stepfather tho… lol


#15

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]The-German wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
Or maybe they just enjoy the company, and conversation, and feel that these women are each unique individuals with whom they make romantic connections, and they’re optimistic enough to take a chance on love. Who knows. People are silly.[/quote]

Wow, Broncoandy, you’ve pleasantly surprised me!

And, I agree. [/quote]

The thing is that they knowingly go into the situation without love present at the time. It isn’t like the guy falls in love and then finds out she has kids after he is emotionally involved(unless she’s shady as fuck). [/quote]

Yeah, you are not “in love” when you find out that she has kids.

Lets be honest, a man who willingly pursues that, will probably believe that he has little to no other options.

He may even bullshit himself that what he feels is “love”, but in reality its probably desperation. [/quote]

You can make a romantic connection without being in love, and without any pursuit taking place. Obviously love comes later, but if you spend time with a woman in a non date setting - co-ed sports, charities, social clubs like the kinsmen / kinettes, online games, etc… or as you eluded to if you have kids of your own you might frequent the same places and bond over that. Some feelings form a little more organically than others, not everything is gamed in artificially created dating circuits out of desperation. If a man shares similar interests, frequents the same places, and there is a mutual physical attraction, I do not believe it becomes how high she / he scores. It is simply a matter of “Hey I think this chick is so cool, and I want to put it in her pooper”. At that point it’s just a matter of wether or not your willing to take the risks involved (and shoulder the responsibility) in pursuing that further.

Which is not to say there aren’t a tonne of so called “beta” men out there dating single moms. Obviously there are. The difference comes in weather or not he is willing to call her on her shit - i.e. if he sees her pulling shit on baby daddy does he speak up, or does he stare at his feet in submission?


#16

OP while it is obvious you are trolling the subjects you choose to troll about illustrate what a vile little cretin you must be in real life.


#17

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
as the years have gone by, I have witnessed firsthand, an astronomical increase in the amount of beta-male providers.

while this term carries with it a number of different definitions… id like to focus on the group of beta males who could quite possibly by THE MOST beta, of all betas.

now, I don’t want this to break down into a discussion of alpha vs beta etc… guys talking about how much they can bench, and what have you…

perhaps for the sake of discussion, I should describe my friends who have (for some reason) become beta-male providers…

[/quote]

And perhaps you can tell us how special you are and about how fitting you are to be father or stepfather.

[quote]

friend 1:
28 years old, police officer, dating a single mother (who is quite large) while her baby-daddy resides in the corrections system.[/quote]

Oh, what a shame. I mean, perhaps this police officer is a stand-up man, a real man, who has taken the place of a low life sitting in prison and can fill the fatherless void in this girl’s life and instill in her sane values and love her, what a kid needs. A pity. And what a beta this man is, enforcing the law and protecting a community. I guess earning an honest living, excellent health benefits–which the daughter and mother can receive too perhaps–and a pension are possessions of the beta.

My cousin is a police officer as well as some acquaintances. Two innocent police officers were killed in my city yesterday and another was almost killed last night. A few months ago, a cop was struck in the back of the head with a hatchet while taking a photograph with civilians (a friendly deed) just blocks away from my job. You’ve got some balls to denigrate this man while including his profession, especially considering what is going in this world right now.

[quote]

friend 2:
23 years old, no college education, works in retail at Best Buy, dating a single mother of 2 children from 2 different fathers (LOL). [/quote]

Something wrong with not going to college considering a significant percentage of those attending do not belong there anyway and that it’s an utter waste of time for many and that SOMEONE has to work at Best Buy. Maybe he should die dickless, loveless, and womanless, all because he works at Best Buy. Or maybe he should become “more alpha”, “up his skills set”, “take more courses and training”, and then WAIT til he gets a “better” job til he starts dating, finds a woman, and perhaps marries.

A permabulking fella who disappeared from this forum once advised aspiring alphas on this forum to avoid dating altogether til one turns 30, implying that a young man should wait til he “has his shit together” before he starts dating, bedding down, and marrying. I’ve sometimes wonders just how goddamn strange normal men would be if they followed this advice. I also wonder how it worked out for him.

If Mr. Best Buy does an honest job and can financially provide in full or partially (most lower to middle class families have dual incomes now) and provide the children with love, then good for him. He doesn’t need any damn advancement to follow his natural instincts to mate, raise kids, and have a woman. Perhaps according to you he deserves your scorn simply because he doesn’t earn a high income.

[quote]
friend 3:
25 years old, college degree in bullshit, engaged to a single mother who he’s been dating for 6 months… looking to be married before they hit the 1 year mark of “togetherness” (they always talk about how much they love each other, on facebook). [/quote]

Oh my god, they fell in love before the one year mark. Horrible. Considering you are the expert and relationship judge here, deeming who is fit to mate and marry and raise kids, care to provide us with qualifying fall-in-love and financial-readiness time frames for the rest of us?

Should this guy change his career in order to have a family or should he look to you, Mr. Settled and Perfect for the right way?

[quote]

im writing to see if any T-nationer has any insight as to why a male would do this to himself… spending his time, money, effort, etc, to raise another man’s child and care for his refuse? and accepting all the bullshit that comes with being a stepfather? [/quote]

As I said, you have a fresh set of balls on you. I was raised by a stepfather who loves my mom and he did an OK job with ME, the refuse (how kind of you). My mother left my dad because he was grossly negligent.

Why does one do it! Because he is a MAN and if he chooses to be involved with a woman who so happens to have a kid, he makes a decision, and if the decision is to continue, he steps up the fucking plate and takes on these NECESSARY BURDENS, the way ALL ADULTS take on necessary burdens.

Some people also adopt, making them surrogate parents. What a terrible thing, providing orphans , sometimes HUNGRY orphans, with a full life.

[quote]
ive always read that being a stepfather is the MOST thankless job ever… so why do these “men” sacrifice their best years for this shit?[/quote]

And what special and higher authorities are writing and saying this?

My own brother was involved with a single mother. He makes an alright income, but he is NOT alpha. If you have to ask WHY such a man was involved then you are absolutely clueless about why men and women get together generally.

I hope you get enough love from the gym and supplements. Let me know how it works out.


#18

I think this thread would have better if everyone just posted how much they bench.


#19

[quote]orion wrote:

He may even bullshit himself that what he feels is “love”, but in reality its probably desperation. [/quote]

Do tell Herr Orion, oh wise and all-knowing one, the one who knows just what the hell is going on in every man’s life and mind.


#20

[quote]TrevorLPT wrote:
I think this thread would have better if everyone just posted how much they bench. [/quote]

I fractured my elbow last year ice skating with my beta male provider and it’s still a little hinky, so no benching at all.

However, I hear every day from people who either are stepparents or were raised by them and are enjoying standard-issue family love. Unfortunately, I also hear from stepparents who are bitter, resentful jerks. Personally, I believe there is a special place in hell for people who marry someone with children and then spend the next several decades making everyone miserable.