I was raised in the Catholic church and was forced to do all kinds of ridiculous shit like go to CCD and serve as an altar boy. I stopped going to church as soon as I was old enough to refuse but unfortunately I’m still “officially” a member of the Catholic church.
Recently the priest at the Parish I used to attend was ousted for molesting children, and I decided that enough was enough and that I wanted to officially divorce myself from Catholicism. So I went through the proper channels and sent a petition to the Archbishop requesting formal defection, and I just received his response refusing my request.
Apparently he believes that he has the authority to dictate which religion I will be a member of and I take deep offense to this. So, it’s time to get a little more aggressive.
What would be the best way to get excommunicated? I was thinking of approaching the altar during mass smoking a J and wearing a Planned Parenthood T-shirt, and then pissing in the communion cup. Any other suggestions?