T Nation

Best of Craigslist

I’m not sure if you all even knew about it. It’s awesome and worth a read if you haven’t already had the privilege: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

For example:

[quote]Penis Measuring


Date: 2010-03-02, 6:01PM PST


A friend of mine and I have been having a long-standing argument about whose penis is larger. We’ve tried having our girlfriends confirm to the other the exact size, but neither one of us buy it. I don’t want to see his penis and he doesn’t want to see mine. I don’t want my girlfriend looking at his penis and he doesn’t was his looking at mine.

So… We just need a girl to look at both of our penises (individually) and then to both of our faces say which one is bigger. We can’t pay much. $50.

Location: Vancouver
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $50 [/quote]

I mean that’s some good stuff right there. Enjoy.

Only read 4 or 5, but they were pretty awesome. This one, however-

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/1755781713.html

Had me rolling. I’m not sure what “JO-ing” is, but this guy’s pretty pumped about possibly doing it.

[quote]Have some instruments (pianos, trumpets, guitars, hurdy-guydys) that you need to get rid of? I will take these off of your hands, and in return you will receive a solid High Five. I have been told that my high fives are top-notch, so this is a very good deal. I will take just about any bass, flute, mandolin, violin, tuba, what have you…I am not picky. So hit me up with an awesome email and let’s strike a deal. Local deals only. No traveling to high-five you. Low Fives also, though they aren’t as satisfying.

Here’s what we’d be looking at: [/quote]

following by a picture of this guy’s hand

Funny stuff.

[quote]WhiteFlash wrote:
Only read 4 or 5, but they were pretty awesome. This one, however-

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/1755781713.html

Had me rolling. I’m not sure what “JO-ing” is, but this guy’s pretty pumped about possibly doing it.[/quote]

Oh yeah. Maybe you can be the Bro. Haha. J/k. Read it again, but remember that JO means jack off, and sword fight, means, well… I think you can figure that one out. It’s much funnier when you know these crucial facts.

[quote]BulletproofTiger wrote:

[quote]WhiteFlash wrote:
Only read 4 or 5, but they were pretty awesome. This one, however-

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/1755781713.html

Had me rolling. I’m not sure what “JO-ing” is, but this guy’s pretty pumped about possibly doing it.[/quote]

Oh yeah. Maybe you can be the Bro. Haha. J/k. Read it again, but remember that JO means jack off, and sword fight, means, well… I think you can figure that one out. It’s much funnier when you know these crucial facts.[/quote]

JO= Jack off? Makes sense… Some of these are a riot.

EDIT: Just read it again. You’re right. It’s definitely funnier. Not sure what “BF-ing” someone in the “M.Nerds” means though. Wonder how many of these are legit?

[quote]Large Boat for sale


Date: 2010-02-16, 1:17PM CST


Due to the bad economy, I can no longer afford to fill up the diesel tanks on this thing and pay my crew. Therefore, I am forced to sell my 1977 Nimitz-class aircraft carrier. New paint and propellors. 22 knots max. Looking for around $2,000,000 or best offer. No pirates or scammers. [/quote]

I’ve been drinking a little so I probably think these are funnier than they really are, but this one had me rolling.


Use to read these all the time. One of my favourites:

Hi, I found a cat today near the arboretum. She’s black with white stripes down her back. She seems a little standoffish. Does not get along well with children.

She doesn’t have a collar, but seems to be an indoor cat and went without hesitation for a can of cat food I opened for her.

I think she’s been away from home a while. She’s quite smelly. May need a bath.

Please e-mail me to claim. Small rehoming fee (to cover the cost of the litterbox and cat food).

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

~

You’ll love these, I’m sure it’s been posted before, but it tops these.

[quote]WestCoast7 wrote:
http://www.dontevenreply.com/

~

You’ll love these, I’m sure it’s been posted before, but it tops these.[/quote]

Pretty good. But only after I had managed to click around that website and find the best of thread. Those were money. I liked the hidden weapons one. but um, Westcoast, I think you should have posted the direct link to the best of thread, because in case you didn’t notice, this thread is about pure awesomeness; creme de la creme type stuff, capiche? So for future link posters in this thread, please only post links to the “best of”/“top rated”. Suitable examples include: the infamous: http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Texts-From-Best-Nights.html and or http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Texts-From-Best-Nights-Today.html and the always delightful: http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?page_id=9804

[quote]WestCoast7 wrote:
http://www.dontevenreply.com/

~

You’ll love these, I’m sure it’s been posted before, but it tops these.[/quote]
absolute gold.

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:

[quote]Have some instruments (pianos, trumpets, guitars, hurdy-guydys) that you need to get rid of? I will take these off of your hands, and in return you will receive a solid High Five. I have been told that my high fives are top-notch, so this is a very good deal. I will take just about any bass, flute, mandolin, violin, tuba, what have you…I am not picky. So hit me up with an awesome email and let’s strike a deal. Local deals only. No traveling to high-five you. Low Fives also, though they aren’t as satisfying.

Here’s what we’d be looking at: [/quote]

following by a picture of this guy’s hand

Funny stuff.

[/quote]
This reminds me of an old guitar teacher. He had an almost permanent ad in a couple papers in which he offered money for instruments. He was a master at fixing up instruments, and would show up, check out a guitar somebody’s grandmother had had in the attic, give $25 for it, and not mention that it was an extremely rare early 1800’s classical guitar (or some such thing). He’d then fix it up himself. He had been doing this for decades, and had a collection worth millions, better than almost all museum collections; wall after wall of his house was lined with antique instruments, mostly guitars. He hadn’t paid more than a few thousand all told for them (a number of them had simply been given to him by people who were otherwise going to throw them out). So, not a high five, but $25 for something worth tens of thousands is close enough.

Oh, and that dontevenreply.com really is classic.

[quote]BulletproofTiger wrote:
I’m not sure if you all even knew about it. It’s awesome and worth a read if you haven’t already had the privilege: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

For example:

[quote]Penis Measuring


Date: 2010-03-02, 6:01PM PST


A friend of mine and I have been having a long-standing argument about whose penis is larger. We’ve tried having our girlfriends confirm to the other the exact size, but neither one of us buy it. I don’t want to see his penis and he doesn’t want to see mine. I don’t want my girlfriend looking at his penis and he doesn’t was his looking at mine.

So… We just need a girl to look at both of our penises (individually) and then to both of our faces say which one is bigger. We can’t pay much. $50.

Location: Vancouver
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $50 [/quote]

I mean that’s some good stuff right there. Enjoy.[/quote]
Thank you. This shit’s hilarious.

I want to see this chick: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bji/1587347039.html

Anyway, thanks again.

This is pure gold-

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/1802444273.html

[quote]thegynorhino wrote:

[quote]BulletproofTiger wrote:
I’m not sure if you all even knew about it. It’s awesome and worth a read if you haven’t already had the privilege: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

For example:

[quote]Penis Measuring


Date: 2010-03-02, 6:01PM PST


A friend of mine and I have been having a long-standing argument about whose penis is larger. We’ve tried having our girlfriends confirm to the other the exact size, but neither one of us buy it. I don’t want to see his penis and he doesn’t want to see mine. I don’t want my girlfriend looking at his penis and he doesn’t was his looking at mine.

So… We just need a girl to look at both of our penises (individually) and then to both of our faces say which one is bigger. We can’t pay much. $50.

Location: Vancouver
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $50 [/quote]

I mean that’s some good stuff right there. Enjoy.[/quote]
Thank you. This shit’s hilarious.

I want to see this chick: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bji/1587347039.html

Anyway, thanks again.[/quote]

My sister says no.

I got a free goat on CL yesterday. The ad just said that if I could catch it, it was mine. So me and a buddy caught it and loaded it up into his truck and took it back to my house. My backyard’s not really big, but it’s one of those Boer goats and I’m gonna slit its fucking throat and have my friend’s dad who’s a butcher take care of all the meat for me. Goat meat…mmmmmmmm.

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
I got a free goat on CL yesterday. The ad just said that if I could catch it, it was mine. So me and a buddy caught it and loaded it up into his truck and took it back to my house. My backyard’s not really big, but it’s one of those Boer goats and I’m gonna slit its fucking throat and have my friend’s dad who’s a butcher take care of all the meat for me. Goat meat…mmmmmmmm.[/quote]

For the love of God, I pray that DK44 doesn’t wander into this thread.

lol

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
I got a free goat on CL yesterday. The ad just said that if I could catch it, it was mine. So me and a buddy caught it and loaded it up into his truck and took it back to my house. My backyard’s not really big, but it’s one of those Boer goats and I’m gonna slit its fucking throat and have my friend’s dad who’s a butcher take care of all the meat for me. Goat meat…mmmmmmmm.[/quote]

Is there a “Best Of T NATION”?

[quote]BulletproofTiger wrote:

[quote]WestCoast7 wrote:
http://www.dontevenreply.com/

~

You’ll love these, I’m sure it’s been posted before, but it tops these.[/quote]

Pretty good. But only after I had managed to click around that website and find the best of thread. Those were money. I liked the hidden weapons one. but um, Westcoast, I think you should have posted the direct link to the best of thread, because in case you didn’t notice, this thread is about pure awesomeness; creme de la creme type stuff, capiche?[/quote]

Don’t lie, you loved it.