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Best Night of My Life

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#1

Had to move. Being the idiot I am I waited to the last minute to find a place, had to be out of my apartment Sat but can’t move into the new place for 2 more weeks, so I called me Dad he said I could crash at his place in the meantime. Like HS all over again…

Exhausted from moving, I decide to turn in early Saturday night. As I’m dozing off I get a call from a friend who I can tell was at least buzzed. He says he’s going clubbing with another old friend of mine, that friend’s girl and 2 other girls. Not to be a buzzkill, I accepted.

I get there, drunk friend #1 gives me a drunken hug, drunk friend #2 just gives me a nod, he and his girl are hanging all over eachother. The other two girls are this tall skinny blondie who talks exactly like that band camp chick from American Pie and a California cutie with long black hair. White chicks with black hair are my kryponite so I politely introduce myself but in the back of my mind start plotting.

At the first bar I make awkward small talk with CA hottie but pretty soon it’s obvious we have nothing in common besides breathing air. After a bit I get a good buzz going, I’m feeling alright, but then my friends decide to move on to another bar.

I stop in the men’s room. By this point the beer goggles had set in. I comb my hair, wink and blow myself a kiss in the mirror, then head back out to the action. Drunk friend #2 had bumped into this thick redhead with a southern drawl and started babbling about somethingorother. I step in and at this point was feeling real good so made a quick apology on his behalf and segwayed into some small talk. We get to dancing and everything is going real well. Feel a tap on my shoulder. Drunk friend #2 says they’re leaving but I can stay if I’d like. I consider it for a moment but then remember my mission.

“Hey it was great meeting you but I do need to get going.” I raised one eyebrow “Will I ever see you again?”

“Oooh ooh lemme give ya mah numb-ber”

At the line at the next bar I see this skinny Asian kid run out the door with an expression on his face like he’d just seen a ghost. A few seconds later a big, muscular dude stormed out screaming bloody murder. With a mixture of concern for the little guy, machismo and inebriated retardation I planted myself squarely in front of the big fellow and in a bear hug pinned his arms to his sides. He kept squirming and inevitably butted me on the schnoz but could not break free. At the time I couldn’t feel it but the next morning it felt tender.

“Chill out dude. Dude you’re twice his size. You’d kill him. Chill out man.”

“Yeah I know I’m going to kill him! He got me kicked out of that bar! Now let go!”

Not to escalate things further, I released him and did my best to calm him down till a police officer walked by. I felt a tug on my shoulder, it was drunk friend #2.

“Dude don’t get involved it’s not your responsibility”

“Yeah but this is exciting”

We walked into that bar. CA super-hottie and I danced a bit. Then band camp asked me to dance. We really started to get into it but got last call. Drunk friend #2 and his girl had left. Band camp offered me, drunk friend #1 and CA-unbelievably-gorgeous-hottie a ride home.

Walking to her car, drunk friend #1 pulls me aside. “Bro we gettin’ lucky, blondie’s yours.” He walked back to CA unbelievably-gorgeously-sexy-i’m-about-to-fall-flat-on-my-face-hottie and they followed us hand in hand. Visions of a half dozen little Joe Grim’s and CA hotties running around a romantic little cottage in the mountains somewhere were quickly fading away.

Bank camp drops them off then gives me a ride. Apparently she’d just married an old friend who needed a greencard. She said she wasn’t sure what would happen. Reading between the lines, a little devil appeared on one shoulder tellling me to go for it and a little angel appeared on the other discouraging it. The angel, the exhaustion from more excitement in one night than over the past year and the sheer awkardity of bringing a married chick into my Dad’s house won out.

“Thanks for the ride”

I text my friend. “U faggot u no say she married ok neway call tomoro”

Long story short, I pass over 2 girls for a shot at some cutie who ends up leaving with drunk friend #1, said friend is pissed at me because he can’t take a joke and now I get a nosebleed every time I sneeze.

I had a fucking blast

#2

Sounds like fun.

#3

Alright.

#4

If that was the best night of my life, I would kill myself.

You talked to some girls, got 1, and only 1, phone number, tried to break up a fight and went home alone.

Mediocre night, at best.

#5

bdc76-adweeb.jpg420×560 46.4 KB

Did your night involve any Stop sign ripping?

#6

[quote]Big Aristotle wrote:
If that was the best night of my life, I would kill myself.

You talked to some girls, got 1, and only 1, phone number, tried to break up a fight and went home alone.

Mediocre night, at best. [/quote]

Sarcasm recognition fail.

#7

[quote]UtahLama wrote:
Did your night involve any Stop sign ripping?[/quote]

maybe toilet papered a house too, bad boy, bad boy

#8

Jesus christ that was a huge waste of time.

#9

I cannot believe I read that whole thing thinking something interesting was going to happen.

You could have at least posted pics of your total fail.

#10

[quote]Big Aristotle wrote:
If that was the best night of my life, I would kill myself.
[/quote]

LOL!

#11

awesome thread. keep up the exciting life.

#12

That was the best night of your life? Mine was getting invited to a party and showing up to a cheerleaders sleepover party! me and my friend being the only guys there.

Anyways guess what ever excites you the most. Next time get something, a kiss, fistful of boob or something.

#13

Give him a break…

The only in common is breathing air comment was funny lol…

But I would have fucked the married chick, especially if she did it to get him a greencard. Man up next time.

#14

So last night, I was sitting here… reading… then, I heard something outside.

Turns out it was the wind blowing and it moved something, but then the phone rang, so I pick it up, “Hello?”— and this chick says “Hi, is Bob there?” At this point I’m like yeah, hot chick calling for Bob so I go like “Uh, no-- you have the wrong number…”

So at this point, there’s a little silence, just enough that you just know she’s gonna say something. So she says “Oh, sorry…” And I’m thinking oh, no problem so I say (in my regular voice) “No problem…” and we both hang up.

So by this time, I put the phone back on the receiver, but that wind is whipping up again so I don’t do anything because I know it’s just the wind, and I go back to reading.

Just as I’m getting to the last word on the page— I read it. Then I turn the page.

I’m thinking about the story so kept reading. And you know that chick that just called? Well, she doesn’t call back so I’m sure she figured out Bob’s number and called and they had some kind of conversation.

So then I’m reading more and next thing I know I have this itch… on my head. So I scratch it-- then, this is just crazy, I had an itch on my arm, so I scratch it! I’m thinking DAMN this is a great story but I can’t get comfortable, so I move around in the chair a bit.

That’s when it happened. I crinkled my toes and they cracked real loud, because they do that once awhile then I’m thinking I’m a little chilly-- and all of a sudden my arm is pulling the quilt up on my a little more.

Then I was warmer.

Good times, man, good times.

#15

[quote]SteelyD wrote:
So last night, I was sitting here… reading… then, I heard something outside.

Turns out it was the wind blowing and it moved something, but then the phone rang, so I pick it up, “Hello?”— and this chick says “Hi, is Bob there?” At this point I’m like yeah, hot chick calling for Bob so I go like “Uh, no-- you have the wrong number…”

So at this point, there’s a little silence, just enough that you just know she’s gonna say something. So she says “Oh, sorry…” And I’m thinking oh, no problem so I say (in my regular voice) “No problem…” and we both hang up.

So by this time, I put the phone back on the receiver, but that wind is whipping up again so I don’t do anything because I know it’s just the wind, and I go back to reading.

Just as I’m getting to the last word on the page— I read it. Then I turn the page.

I’m thinking about the story so kept reading. And you know that chick that just called? Well, she doesn’t call back so I’m sure she figured out Bob’s number and called and they had some kind of conversation.

So then I’m reading more and next thing I know I have this itch… on my head. So I scratch it-- then, this is just crazy, I had an itch on my arm, so I scratch it! I’m thinking DAMN this is a great story but I can’t get comfortable, so I move around in the chair a bit.

That’s when it happened. I crinkled my toes and they cracked real loud, because they do that once awhile then I’m thinking I’m a little chilly-- and all of a sudden my arm is pulling the quilt up on my a little more.

Then I was warmer.

Good times, man, good times.[/quote]

God, i’d like to think that I, too, could have an amazing day like that. I dunno… i’m getting older by the second and sometimes I think that my better days are behind me.

But, it’s stories like this that give me hope. sigh

#16

So the other night I go out with my wife and some friends. Start the night pre-gaming at a house party and then go to a bar where a good friend works as a bouncer, so no cover.

Proceed to play dice, order some food, take some pics, and then decide to go to the strip club down the road to celebrate one of my boys deploying to Iraq. Yes my wife came with.

Bar time: head back to the party where someone slapped my wifes ass hard enough to break skin on her hand. turns out it was a buddy, so after an apology, it was all good.

Then a couple guys start talkin trash to my buddy going overseas cause he’s army and these guys have “family” in the marines. apparently that makes them hard.

we all step outside, nothing ends up happening except we all froze our asses off. go back inside and find out somebody had managed to fall through a glass coffee table.

My wife, a doctor, tells him he needs stitches, dudes brother starts arguing with him, and my wife says “dude, your fuking stupid. shut the fuck up.” Classic.

and then proceeded to do some drunk wrestling with another one of my boys, put him in a kamura, and match ends.

then i go home.

all in all a pretty average night, and unfortunately still seems like more fun than the OP’s.

Sorry OP, this was just too good to pass on.

#17

[quote]SteelyD wrote:
So last night, I was sitting here… reading… then, I heard something outside.

Turns out it was the wind blowing and it moved something, but then the phone rang, so I pick it up, “Hello?”— and this chick says “Hi, is Bob there?” At this point I’m like yeah, hot chick calling for Bob so I go like “Uh, no-- you have the wrong number…”

So at this point, there’s a little silence, just enough that you just know she’s gonna say something. So she says “Oh, sorry…” And I’m thinking oh, no problem so I say (in my regular voice) “No problem…” and we both hang up.

So by this time, I put the phone back on the receiver, but that wind is whipping up again so I don’t do anything because I know it’s just the wind, and I go back to reading.

Just as I’m getting to the last word on the page— I read it. Then I turn the page.

I’m thinking about the story so kept reading. And you know that chick that just called? Well, she doesn’t call back so I’m sure she figured out Bob’s number and called and they had some kind of conversation.

So then I’m reading more and next thing I know I have this itch… on my head. So I scratch it-- then, this is just crazy, I had an itch on my arm, so I scratch it! I’m thinking DAMN this is a great story but I can’t get comfortable, so I move around in the chair a bit.

That’s when it happened. I crinkled my toes and they cracked real loud, because they do that once awhile then I’m thinking I’m a little chilly-- and all of a sudden my arm is pulling the quilt up on my a little more.

Then I was warmer.

Good times, man, good times.[/quote]

That night sounded Epic.

#18

[quote]SteelyD wrote:
So last night, I was sitting here… reading… then, I heard something outside.

Turns out it was the wind blowing and it moved something, but then the phone rang, so I pick it up, “Hello?”— and this chick says “Hi, is Bob there?” At this point I’m like yeah, hot chick calling for Bob so I go like “Uh, no-- you have the wrong number…”

So at this point, there’s a little silence, just enough that you just know she’s gonna say something. So she says “Oh, sorry…” And I’m thinking oh, no problem so I say (in my regular voice) “No problem…” and we both hang up.

So by this time, I put the phone back on the receiver, but that wind is whipping up again so I don’t do anything because I know it’s just the wind, and I go back to reading.

Just as I’m getting to the last word on the page— I read it. Then I turn the page.

I’m thinking about the story so kept reading. And you know that chick that just called? Well, she doesn’t call back so I’m sure she figured out Bob’s number and called and they had some kind of conversation.

So then I’m reading more and next thing I know I have this itch… on my head. So I scratch it-- then, this is just crazy, I had an itch on my arm, so I scratch it! I’m thinking DAMN this is a great story but I can’t get comfortable, so I move around in the chair a bit.

That’s when it happened. I crinkled my toes and they cracked real loud, because they do that once awhile then I’m thinking I’m a little chilly-- and all of a sudden my arm is pulling the quilt up on my a little more.

Then I was warmer.

Good times, man, good times.[/quote]

lol

#19

[quote]SteelyD wrote:
So last night, I was sitting here… reading… then, I heard something outside.

Turns out it was the wind blowing and it moved something, but then the phone rang, so I pick it up, “Hello?”— and this chick says “Hi, is Bob there?” At this point I’m like yeah, hot chick calling for Bob so I go like “Uh, no-- you have the wrong number…”

So at this point, there’s a little silence, just enough that you just know she’s gonna say something. So she says “Oh, sorry…” And I’m thinking oh, no problem so I say (in my regular voice) “No problem…” and we both hang up.

So by this time, I put the phone back on the receiver, but that wind is whipping up again so I don’t do anything because I know it’s just the wind, and I go back to reading.

Just as I’m getting to the last word on the page— I read it. Then I turn the page.

I’m thinking about the story so kept reading. And you know that chick that just called? Well, she doesn’t call back so I’m sure she figured out Bob’s number and called and they had some kind of conversation.

So then I’m reading more and next thing I know I have this itch… on my head. So I scratch it-- then, this is just crazy, I had an itch on my arm, so I scratch it! I’m thinking DAMN this is a great story but I can’t get comfortable, so I move around in the chair a bit.

That’s when it happened. I crinkled my toes and they cracked real loud, because they do that once awhile then I’m thinking I’m a little chilly-- and all of a sudden my arm is pulling the quilt up on my a little more.

Then I was warmer.

Good times, man, good times.[/quote]

ROFL. Thanks nice way to start my morning.

#20

[quote]Renton wrote:
I cannot believe I read that whole thing thinking something interesting was going to happen.

You could have at least posted pics of your total fail.[/quote]