Best Blackout Story

Zambuca gets me every time. I can be drinking for hours and not remember a thing the next day. Lost an eyebrow after getting wasted on that shit once. That was THE last time I passed out early. Got every one of those basterds back too lol.

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]Nards wrote:
When I was 19 or 20 I went too Oktoberfest and drank to much wine and knew I was severely fucked up by about 7:30PM, so I left and waited for the bus, but fell asleep (aka: “blacked out”) and woke up just in time for my bus…but it was the last one of the night at that…about 1:30AM, so I;d been sleeping on the ground next to the bus stop in downtown Winnipeg for about 5 hours.
Still had my wallet and all organs still inside my body![/quote]

Wait, you went to Oktoberfest and drank WINE? And you call yourself Canadian.[/quote]

Exactly. He’s Canadian, not German.[/quote]

Apparently NJ is too far from Canada to recognize the Canadian affinity for beer. Hailing from Canada doesn’t preclude one from having German ancestry, or is he drinking wine because he is French?

Canadian beer is fantastic.

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]Nards wrote:
When I was 19 or 20 I went too Oktoberfest and drank to much wine and knew I was severely fucked up by about 7:30PM, so I left and waited for the bus, but fell asleep (aka: “blacked out”) and woke up just in time for my bus…but it was the last one of the night at that…about 1:30AM, so I;d been sleeping on the ground next to the bus stop in downtown Winnipeg for about 5 hours.
Still had my wallet and all organs still inside my body![/quote]

Wait, you went to Oktoberfest and drank WINE? And you call yourself Canadian.[/quote]

Exactly. He’s Canadian, not German.[/quote]

Apparently NJ is too far from Canada to recognize the Canadian affinity for beer. Hailing from Canada doesn’t preclude one from having German ancestry, or is he drinking wine because he is French?
[/quote]

No way he has french Canadian ancestry, please God no, anything but that :wink:

You’re right on the money about an affinity for beer Testy. I had a kid sized beer mug just for me when I was a little dripper. I would get home from saturdaynight mass with my Mom and Dad and watch Hockey Night in Canada with a chilled mug o’ 50, good times.

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]Ulty wrote:
I’ve only blacked out once, I think I was 23. I’ve also only fondled fake breasts while fingering a girl during a bachelorette party once, too. Unfortunately, these things happened at the same time, and I don’t remember.

Apparently I was only blacked out for a few minutes, but it was the most critical few minutes of the night. I remember the girl (a bridesmaid, I assume?) talking to me at length about her implants as the flirting intensified amongst her bachelorette friends. The next thing I remember, my group was saying goodbye as the bachelorette party got into their limo and left. It seemed that I and another dude got cockblocked by some forlorn member of our party, and the ladies had somewhere else to be. But then I smelled the unmistakable scent of vag on my fingers and wonder what all I missed and how I was unable to get it to continue.

Oh well.[/quote]
Cock blocked by your own crew? Kick that dude out, pronto.[/quote]
It was a coworker, I think we only invited him out of pity.

The last time I ever blacked out was disturbing. I woke up in my car parked on my neighbor’s lawn at about 4:30 am, completely naked with dried blood all over my face from a cocaine-induced nosebleed, an empty bottle of scotch in my lap, my shotgun (Remington 11-87 Magnum, a superior weapon) next to me and at least four spent shells on the floorboard, with no recollection of anything I’d done the previous night.

Another time I blacked out was at a Giants game in SF. I vaguely remember being kicked out with my friend for smashing a beer bottle on his head (who is a Dodgers fan) after a big inning for the Dodgers. He punched me square in the face and the next thing I knew four or five security guards and a couple cops were hauling our asses out of there. We immediately went to Momo’s (overly-trendy bar/restaurant across the street from the park) and started pounding Bloody Marys on the patio outside. When the game was over and the Giants had lost, I took a foul ball I had caught in the 2nd inning and hurled through the 6th story window of an office building next to the bar. The last thing I remember is blaming it on a drunk Dodgers fan and then hightailing it back to the Caltrain station at 4th and Townsend.

The next thing I remember is being waken up being two cops. I was on a bench at the downtown Palo Alto Caltrain Station, by myself. I told the police I was waiting for the next train, which they politely informed me had come by more than three hours earlier at about 12:30am. I lived in Santa Clara at the time, about 15 miles further down the line. Apparently, I had somehow ended up getting off the train in Palo Alto for who knows what reason.

My friend got on the same train as me and then immediately ditched me due to my escalating behavior. The cops called a cab for me and I took it back to my house. The period between the end of the game (roughly 10pm) and when the cops showed up was a complete blank spot. I don’t even remember throwing the ball through the window.

I’ve blacked out a number of times.

The stories that came out were never the good kind and I regret them.

There is nothing fun nor admirable about being so uncontrollably drunk that you aren’t even yourself.

I do my best to avoid such things whenever I drink now.

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
I’ve blacked out a number of times.

The stories that came out were never the good kind and I regret them.

There is nothing fun nor admirable about being so uncontrollably drunk that you aren’t even yourself.

I do my best to avoid such things whenever I drink now.[/quote]

You’re aggressively hungover beyond all recognition right now, aren’t you?

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
I’ve blacked out a number of times.

The stories that came out were never the good kind and I regret them.

There is nothing fun nor admirable about being so uncontrollably drunk that you aren’t even yourself.

I do my best to avoid such things whenever I drink now.[/quote]

You’re aggressively hungover beyond all recognition right now, aren’t you?[/quote]

haha actually not.

My work schedule is getting in the way of my drinking schedule of late, so unfortunately I haven’t had more than two beers in the last two weeks.

Travesty.

[quote]SuperAlienFreak wrote:

[quote]awesomeguy1234 wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
Which leads me to…

How do you know?[/quote]

friends third person accounts of your debauchery and or piecing together evidence hangover style.

my friends have always been very good about filling me in about all the stupid shit ive done when im drunk from exposing myself, calling myself ‘megatron’ and telling everyone that i was the true king of cybertron, punching a storefront window insisting i could break it at finger length like uma thurman in kill bill, and or jumping out of a moving cab. [/quote]

watch out guys, we have a badass over here.[/quote]

damn right i am…

COME GET A TASTE!

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
Jesus. I could kill the fucking thread with freshman and sophmore year of college. Not bragging.

Hmmm, my first real experience blacking out was freshman year in high school. I woke up with piss all over my closet floor, must’ve thought I was in the bathroom.

My stories range from waking up next to fat chicks, to crashing in to a tree in a front yard of the most prominent neighborhood in Houston, with the homes personal security gaurd checking my vitals and popping a totalled truck off the tree and hauling ass…

To the downright ugly by shooting out street lights with a .45 in the middle of Houston.

Most recently, a few weeks ago, I was out with some friends. We were drinking much more than normal for these days (we’re getting kinda old and the hangovers really do last longer) and the next thing I know it’s morning, I wake up in a strange room I’ve never seen all by myself and my pants are no where to be found.

I have no idea where I am. No pics on a bedstand or anything, just a plain room. I was wondering if I should just walk out in the hall, cock swinging, or if I should stay put in case kids or something like that were wandering the house.

I thought for sure I had at least gotten laid but I eventually wrapped myself in a sheet and went to see what was going on.

Evidently I had just gotten very drunk and wound up getting a ride from a friend of a friend. I passed out in the car and they just put me to sleep at their place. I had barfed on my pants on the way home and his wife graciously put them in the wash for me.

She saw my cock no doubt. Only redeeming aspect of the story. And I paid for them to have their jeep detailed.[/quote]

you sir, are a renaissance man.

Freshmen year of college, my first frat party. I bought a bottle of vodka for me and my date, she took a few shots and I finished most of the rest of the bottle. I was blackout drunk before we even got to the little club we had rented out. I ended up peeing in a trashcan and calling my date by her best friend’s name all night.

Me and a buddy decided it would be a great idea to walk 3 miles back to the dorms, which probably would have been the smart thing to do at that point except I had lost my shoes, so I walked back barefoot. I woke up on the wrong floor in some random girls’ dorm room. Apparently I was being interrogated by police when these girls saw me and claimed I was their friend and they’d take me home. They brought me to my room, but I had left my keys in my date’s purse and my roommate was still out, so they let me sleep on the floor in their dorm.

I managed to track down my shoes and keys and actually ended up dating the first girl for a few months.

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
The last time I ever blacked out was disturbing. I woke up in my car parked on my neighbor’s lawn at about 4:30 am, completely naked with dried blood all over my face from a cocaine-induced nosebleed, an empty bottle of scotch in my lap, my shotgun (Remington 11-87 Magnum, a superior weapon) next to me and at least four spent shells on the floorboard, with no recollection of anything I’d done the previous night.
[/quote]

is your name dennis rodman…?

guess i should share…

blacked out at my brother’s rehersal dinner for his wedding, woke up naked in my bed with my face killing me and puke all over my bathroom.

the wedding was at a bed and breakfast and according to my brother after dinner and 8 beers, i grabbed a bottle of vodka from one of his friends, chugged it for about 30 seconds and then proceeded to throughout the night punch his best man in the face, tried to fuck his ex girlfriend and every bridesmaid by telling them i loved them and ‘had a room’, wandered to my room passed out, woke up and puked, then walked downstairs naked looking to party some more where my other brother had to punch me in the face twice to get me to go back upstairs.

bonus: fucked my brother’s wife’s cousin at the reception and was confronted by her uncle the next day angrily saying ‘so what are your intentions with my niece?’ to which my mom said ‘leave my son alone’. he backed down.

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
Canadian beer is fantastic.[/quote]

Compared to what?

American beer?

It better be.

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
Canadian beer is fantastic.[/quote]

Compared to what?

American beer?

It better be.[/quote]
German beer is good. I’ve been to Germany for Oktoberfest and blacked out. But you obviously haven’t tried our microbreweries.

Like everything, we have adapted and become the absolute best at brewing beer.

Canadians do a good job though. Also, inbev. As far as I’m concerned, Belgium is basically germany and so is austria. And you motherfuckers own the absolute worst beer ever produced in the US.

Just saying.

This one time the power went out and it was really dark at night.

Dangit, this is a thread about getting drunk and being an asshole. The last time I blacked out I decided to take off all my clothes and wear red boxers a red tie and a Santa hat. The time before that I woke up surrounded by smashed up saltine crackers. Guess who put then there…this guy!!

I think I’ve shared this one but what eva.

It was a Sunday afternoon, roughly 2pm and I woke up for the day. I had a dorm room to myself after having been kicked out of my original room. For some reason, the university felt putting me in another building alone would be punishment.

I smoked some pot to ease my hang over and got dressed. Lunch was being served for 30 more minutes at the cafeteria and my wallet was empty. I had to hurry.

As I went down the stairs, I noticed a ruckus on the first floor. People were running everywhere, chicks freaking out and dudes playing the white knight against hundreds of clawed offenders; crawfish.

They were all over the hall and had evidently crawled under some doors in to rooms. I remember thinking “weird” and heading to lunch.

Hours earlier…

some friends and I had been boozing at some dudes frat party (which I remember) when we heard the Lacross team was having a crawfish boil. We went over there and my memory stops.

Evidently we stayed for a while, ate some crawfish, met some ladies and went back to the original party, which had grown and beer was dwindling. So we went back to the lacross party and stole a bunch of kegs.

When these floated, my buddy and I went back again to get more crawfish, as if we’d be welcomed but who thinks of that. The party was shut down so we grabbed the bucket you cook them in and scooped a bunch of the little fuckers to a cooler in my truck and headed to the dorm.

We dragged the cooler inside the snack room and started microwaving the little fuckers. On cam the whole time. Evidently microwaved crawfish are pretty good because we ate lots of them or so we heard. My friend went back to his dorm and I went upstairs, to wake up at 2:00pm, leaving the cooler open and on it’s side, obviously the crawfish crawled out and took over.

My buddies frat brother was the DA on my floor and knew who we were immediatly. He didn’t want to get his “brother” in trouble and acted like he’d never seen him, and I had a hat on, you couldn’t see my face so he pretended like he didn’t know me either. Other dorm workers didn’t know my buddy as he lived in a different building and couldn’t really pin anything on a faceless me.

Rumor has it, our video became part of the DA training program and is still in use like 10 years later.

I don’t have many black out stories, as usually I would be down for the count once the memory started to go.

Once, I was partying at a friends, and drank a bit too much too quickly. We left to go to another party, and once there I decided I was too drunk, and was going home. I didn’t tell anyone else this mind you, I just wandered off. I had no money for a cab, wasn’t exactly sure where I was, and I was wearing flip flops.

I remember staggering down the street, and after going about 3 steps sideways for every 5 forward I somehow knew I was in trouble. I then woke up on someones lawn, next to a pool of my own vomit.

After getting up and walking a bit, I remember thinking I was now good to go, I had just needed a breather, and the now cold fall air would clear my head. The next thing I knew I was tripping over a guard rail, and a vehicle was honking at me.

I blacked out again, but was jarred back by pain in my ankle and face. My ankle hurt from stepping into a gopher hole, and my face from landing in some thistles. I was in a field of wheat, far outside the city limits.

To make a long story short, I arrived home at about 5am, having left the party at about 11pm. After checking a map, I realized I had crossed a 3 lane freeway, and walked somewhere around 25km (15 miles). After the hangover faded I had to marvel that I had made it home alive, and without losing my sandals.