T Nation

Being Yourself


Do you guys ever have trouble being yourself around certain people? I just started my new job today, and at the end of the day, I reflected and thought to myself,"This isn't me." I'm usually the outgoing guy who comes up with clever one liners and doesn't really give a fuck what anyone thinks of me."

I find myself caring alot more now and I hate it. I feel like I am changing and I have no control over it. I guess maybe it can change with time, but I feel like I'm losing the way I used to be able to see the world.Nothing is really funny anymore lile it used to be.

Does anyone have any previous experience with this? I don't think it's depression because I'm not sad by any means, well except for the fact that I am losing myself in a negative way. Please just give me some insight..


it's just you adjusting

eventually you'll be droppin one liners and not giving a fuck at your job.

Its probably best you dont start out doing it or you'll seem like a weird asshole.

let people "uncover your cool" don't put it in their face.

I'll say you are just have anxiety about what the job expects from you. When you get your groove you'll get your fires goin' again.


I am always different the first day on a new job. Always takes me a while to feel out the vibe and pick up on how people are. Nothing wrong with that. Besides, you always want to show your best face when you first start off a job. Save the dick jokes until after you've been there a while.


Count and I think alike. It's better to hang back a little, get the lay of the land, figure out where other people are coming from before you spring your true self on them. You're just out of sorts cuz it's a new job, new people, etc etc. You'll be great. Just give it some time. Apparently Redleg and I think the same also.


That's a fantastic observation/outlook. Listen to this Strength and you'll be straight.


Thanks guys. Sometimes it helps to have alot of different perspectives on certain situations; such as my own. Yeah I think you're all right. Everytime I did try and be clever it felt very forced and I immediately regreted it.


It's not realistic to be the same around everybody anyways.

I wouldn't tell my grandma dick jokes.

I wouldn't talk to my buddies about habits that cats have.

Different people have different interests, it's only natural to associate with them on that basis. Anything less makes you a tactless idiot.


If the above advice doesn't work, try 4,000 IU of vitamin D3 everyday (if you're not getting taking it already). I was feeling the exact same way before I started taking it...not sad, not happy, just kind of a flat nothingness. Apparently vitamin D deficiency can cause symptoms like this.


Rock is spot on lately.


You have a cat?!?!?!

shakes head

Now I have to find a new T-idol...

I mean don't get me wrong I have a cat, but I expect you to have a fkn badger or a wolverine or something really hardcore.. Dammit!!


What if it was Cat Woman?


Ahh, you sound normal.

On the other hand, I am a socially disabled bass-ackwards introvert. It takes me about 3 months to start talking to people at a new job about anything that does not directly involve what I am doing.


Thats how it is with everybody. In my Marketing class,Im ususally polite,quiet,and fit in a cute joke from tiem to time because theres nothing but girls in that class...On the other hand,in my Flash class I try to out gross everybody out because there's nothing but my friends in there. Same goes for work,if my manager is in charge of that day,we talk about girls and shoot the shit but if my supervisor is there,we try to avoid her as much as possible and were miserable.


There is some pretty decent advice here. Whenever you start someplace new, you typically want to hang back in the cut and observe everything. That is simply common sense. To take it further, oftentimes, people where "masks" when dealing with others. Like H4M said, you wouldn't be offensive around the elders in your family. Nor would you be obnoxious if you were in a professional atmosphere. Whatever you're feeling, it will pass with time. Just be patient.


I love my job so damn much, and this is in large part because I get to be entirely myself. I've been there for a while, though. I definitely wasn't at first.


Sorry, for clarification, I make fun of my gf for resembling a cat. The only "pet" I have.

As far as CATS, the furry kind go...fuck'em. They're like pmsing women. Including the scratching part.


You have a girlfriend? Hearts are breaking all over T-Nation.


Yeah...well we're somewhat official now haha. There's a bit to the situation, but not something I'd go into on a public forum...


I kinda to the same thing. "Job me" is a completely different buy than "real me"
but thats only because i want to keep my job. I have no problem being fake and overly nice to people if it means i keep my job and can buy a couple more steaks every month.

A misanthropic, narsicistic, unshaved, long haired, thrasher wearing a dirty cutoff Gorgoroth shirt, with burn marks on his shins, bruises on his knuckles, is not the ideal person to be when you work..


Yes. But its always with people I don't know that well.

Sometimes, if you've hung about with a particular group of friends for a certain amount of time, you bond with them in a way that makes it difficult to form new relationships ( sense of humor, familiarity, etc.). That's why most people over 30 find it hard to make new friends.

I could explain why but that would be boring to most...

You seem like a younger guy, but you're starting to experience that. Don't sweat it - it's just a period of transition.

Oh, and change your avatar - you'll feel better in the morning.