T Nation

Being a Vigilante?


While reading the latest Atomic Dog, a thought came to mind, one that has been in my mind for a long time...


Has anyone ever considered it?

There is alot of crime and filth in the world, that honestly, just needs to die.

This is compounded by the fact that my house was broken into earlier this week.

How would you go about finding crime?


Rent Death Wish with Charles Bronson and follow suit.



Use your spider-sense.

Or get a computer wiz sidekick with a name like Microchip.

Or get the Police Commissioner to signal you with a giant spotlight.

Or maybe you can get a loft at the top of Four Freedoms Plaza and piggyback off Reed Richards' wireless internet.

Just get out and do it.



get a pair tights


How are you with numchucks?


Reminds me of Boondock Saints. I'd imagine that if you randomly kill criminals as you come across them, however that may be, there would be very little (if any) evidence connecting you to the crime. Even if they have your DNA and fingerprints at the scene, if you're not in the system and you don't qualify to be on the list of suspects, then there's no connection.


To take the law into ones own hands only undermines the core philosophy of the very same understood interpretation of justice you would otherwise attempt to practice. Let's say you killed the person who broke into your home. What would make him the criminal, and not you?

I'm not trying to say it's not a complete abomination that that piece of shit broke into your home. Had it been me and I cought him in the act, he would have a Ka-Bar knife lodged in his throat. But I'm an irrational person, and I would expect any rational man to understand that there is no justified disobedience of a law that is not unjust; and vigilantism is a violation of a just law.

Granted, I'm not talking about turning a perp in. I'm talking about punishimg him yourself.

Side Note: By "you" I don't necessarily mean you, OP. I mean man in general.


Good place to find criminals is Jail. Find someone that was convicted of rape but only sent to jail for three months and have at it once he gets out.


yes that is exactly what you need to do. Hide outside the gate for where prisoners that have completed their sentence exit. Then when they are jumping for joy being free, that is your time to strike!


This phrase uses a triple-negative and a redundancy. If you're trying to be confusing, just learn another language and skip the hatchet job on the one the rest of us enjoy.

O.P: Read Darkly Dreaming Dexter, and watch the Showtime series based on the book. Very riveting stuff.


True. We need a few cleaners on the streets. Old west style.

That really sucks man. But this is just your anger talking. You want revenge for this. Ego.

There's lots of crime.

Here's some:

Apparently this kid dropped cake, but didn't do an adequate job at cleaning up her mess and a "verbal altercation" with the hired goon followed. The natural way to deal with this crime is apparently to wrestle the "criminal" and have them arrested...for littering.

The altercation was caught on video, so the school security guard did what was in his best interest. He had the kid with the video camera arrested too (He is still incarcerated.)[/i]

Now tell me he doesn't deserve a visit from a Dirty Harry like character.

Here's a better writen version of it:

What AOL news failed to mention is the security guard also broke the girl's wrist.


The break in at my house brought it to my attention. I never thought anything like that would happen to me. I thought it just happened to other people.

The assault rate of my zip code is over 4 times the national average. The burglary rate is almost 3 and a half times the national.

There are not enough cops on the street and there are not enough rooms in the jails. Just recently we let loose an entire jail of criminals because the jail was declared "unclean and deplorable" so it was deemed cruel and unusual. Total shit.

I live next door to a heroin dealer. The police have a great case against her, but she's not enough of a problem for them.

Her boyfriend regularly beats the shit out of her and scatters before the police arrive. He's back the next day. The cops don't care.

The human solution is to make these people dissapear. The only logic that says its wrong to punish these people is the same logic that lets people like Michael Jackson and OJ off the hook.

The law is inept at punishing the truely wicked.


Awesome! A reference to The Tick. Nobody seems to remember that cartoon anymore.


As long as justice is served.

The law can be a joke. A guy steals a car and only gets a few months. Another guy kills someone yet gets a short sentence on some technicality. Thats not justice.

I think morally not legally. One reason I believe law school makes people worse.

Remember that episode of the Sopranos, where the shrink gets raped.... I wish she told Tony. I think that was one of the worst parts of the entire series. I wanted to see that fucker get his balls cut off.


No I do. Great show!


You would of course have to commit suicide after your first act, in order to remain logical....


I think a law degree would be a great first step. Otherwise, pick up a Soldier of Fortune and get a ticket to Africa. Although you'll be able to find the bad guys in matter of days, you might only live that long.


I agree that kind of thing is appealing, but if everone did that, then we'd be living in a big Gaza strip real quick.


Haha...now THIS is an interesting topic! I'll assume that you were seriously asking and give you a serious answer!

Well, let's see... you'd have to develop some sort of superhero-like moral code, otherwise you'd become just like the bad guys! Just as the law and politics can get in the way, so can shit like paralyzing some dude who broke into your house, only to later find out his wife needed some kind of expensive surgery and that was the only way he could think of to get some cash.

The probability of that is like ZERO, haha, but my point is that you NEVER know why a person commits a crime unless you know them very well. If I were going to become a vigilante, then that conclusion would either lead me to: a) start small and do simple things, early Spiderman style. Do things like saving women from being mugged, hanging around dangerous areas out of sight, ready to help the common man at a moment's notice!

Or b) go Batman style: Batman usually didn't fuck around with small fries, he went after the crazies and big time mob bosses that the law wouldn't touch; either because they COULDN'T or because they were corrupt on some level. But that would require some SERIOOOOOUSSSSSSSSSS work! And you'd need to be like a hardcore fucking ninja with Special Forces training and all that. And a millionaire!

So unless you're a ninja millionaire, I'd go with A. Maybe follow some of the small time thugs around until you catch some small time drug dealers or something, who knows, anything would help.

Hmm so how to go about doing that... Well first you DEFINITELY need to make sure NO ONE ever finds out who you are. You couldn't tell a SOUL about it, unless you were ABSOLUTELY sure they would bring your secret with them to the grave. You'd have to work out a way for no one to see your face when you were out around town. You could wear a mask like V in "V for Vendetta," but that would just look silly. I'd take a cue from the Japanese culture and be a ninja. NO ONE EXPECTS A NINJA!

And that brings me to the next issue: training. You'd better be sure you can handle your business out on the streets, or else you're just gonna end up dead and embarrassed for looking like a ninja. Even if you CAN hold your own, you should look into weapons. You don't wanna KILL people, unless of course they DESERVE to die, which is something that's gonna be VERY hard for someone to judge. If you knew someone was let out of jail recently who raped a fucking 4 year old, well I'd say that's a definite candidate for a justice killing. I'd go with an un-traceable sniper rifle with a silencer to just pick'em off from a distance, and a handgun with a silencer for point blank range if POSSIBLE. Otherwise find something similar you can get without being traced. Non lethal weapons I'd go with a tazer for sure, one of those extendo-rod things, brass knuckles, etc... Things that will fuck you up and kill if needed, but designed for non-lethal combat.

Ok so let's see...how about a scenario here? Maybe something more difficult, assuming you couldn't get your hands on something smarter... like that sniper rifle!

Let's say that you were going to go out to kill some child rapist that was STUPIDLY released from jail after like 2 years and now lives in a neighborhood right by some elementary school. You'd have made sure to do your homework, finding out exactly where he lives, his usual business, who comes in and out of his house, if he has a parole officer or FBI agent or whoever keeping tabs on him or watching him. Maybe take a few weeks or so to just study him from a distance and do your research.

When the night comes to take action, you'd pack a backpack full of regular street clothes, hide it somewhere concealed, like a nearby riverbank or bridge or something. Make sure that footprints or some kinda CSI shit wouldn't let anyone trace you to that spot. You'd be wearing a second set of street clothes: a huge black sweater with a hood and big dark jeans. You'd have on your hardcore ninja suit underneath, fully covering your entire body. You'd wait until the time of night with the LEAST amount of people in the streets, and walk to a location a good distance away from the target. Then you would pull your ninja hood over your face and the sweater hood on top of that. That way, no one would be able to see your face but they wouldn't be like "WTF A NINJA!" if they saw you.

You'd run through the shadows or walk with your head down to the target's location (depending on whether or not you could avoid people), make your way quickly to his room, either by scaling and going through a window, or just plain knock on his door and if he opens it, kill him there. Otherwise maybe bust through the door if it's easy enough.

Remember, you're a ninja! No one knows who you are and if they're watching you they can't give a good description of you.

Just make your way quickly to him, kill him with knife/gun/tazer/whatever the hell you're using, and hightail it outta there! Run to the riverbank or wherever you left the backpack with the first set of clothes, change into them, and walk home comfortably. Feign ignorance!

Make sure all parts of your body have been washed and scrubbed and then moisturized so you have as little chance as possible of leaving anything they can get a sample of your DNA or blood from. All parts of your body should be covered. Just to be safe you should burn the suit and clothes afterwards, in case any of his blood or skin or fluids, etc. got on them and you somehow end up being traced to the murder and investigated. Obviously, both the suit and 2 sets of clothes (and shoes) should be bought, thoroughly washed, and kept in plastic covering within 2 days of putting the plan into action, to decrease the chance of anything traceable getting onto the clothes and falling off of you during the murder. Buying the clothes from a second hand store like Salvation Army or Goodwill would be a good choice, as there would be many different DNA samples to pick from, not just yours. You could even look into covering most of your body in liquid latex to be even safer.

Hey, go hard or go home! I'd take as many precautions as possible to make sure I was never caught and never found out. If you SERIOUSLY wanted to become a vigilante, you wouldn't want to just go off and be a dumbass and get into streetfights with thugs hoping that you would come out on top. You'd want to make sure that you could EASILY dispatch them without much difficulty and without killing them, as many times as it takes until you feel your community and the people you care about are safe. That requires desperation and fanatasicm. And if you DO become a vigilante, and you take my advice, and someone traces the killing methods you used to the ones described in my post, they BEST not come and blame me for it! :frowning:

Haha interesting question though! Good luck to you sir!


Just a disclaimer: I'm not a vigilante, just a guy with an active imagination!