T Nation

Being a Man - What Is a Man?

I’m 24 and thus a “Man”. But I don’t really know what a “Man” is. I’ve grown up in a body of a “Man”, but I am unsure I possess all the characteristics of one in the true sense of the word.

What do have I have to be, have, or do in order to Be a Man?

come on dude…is this question for real? I guess my answer to this would be, if you have to ask, you’ll never know.

You have to have a penis and testicles, and no ovaries/vagina. I think that’s pretty much what it takes.

Thats a good question. I know a lot of people who are boilogicaly equiped to be men, and even talk the talk when they have a few beers, but can’t walk the walk. They are shadows of men that imitate what they see men doing.

A couple of pointers:
It has nothing to do with cars and houses.
Men experience fear, but have the courage to overcome it.

Men experience pain, but have the fortitude to not let it stop them.

Men experience setbacks, but have the perseverence to stay the course of life.

There are a lot more, but in short, men have experience in life, can look back on it, and forward to more. They can say with confidence that they are a man.

If you’re not sure whether you have the characteristics of a man in the true sense of the word, then you’re not one. Sorry. Confidence is probably one of the most important characteristics. Also what makes women real women.

[quote]jsbrook wrote:
If you’re not sure whether you have the characteristics of a man in the true sense of the word, then you’re not one. Sorry. Confidence is probably one of the most important characteristics. Also what makes women real women.[/quote]

More than confidence is the realization that all of your experiences have led you into being more than just a boy. If you are nearing 25 and you still don’t know if you are a man mentally yet, then you either need to get out on your own and invest in more personal experience or accept that you will not grow up for quite a while. I personally think kids who grow up with their parents and never leave the house are the first to be confused on this issue.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
jsbrook wrote:
If you’re not sure whether you have the characteristics of a man in the true sense of the word, then you’re not one. Sorry. Confidence is probably one of the most important characteristics. Also what makes women real women.

More than confidence is the realization that all of your experiences have led you into being more than just a boy. If you are nearing 25 and you still don’t know if you are a man mentally yet, then you either need to get out on your own and invest in more personal experience or accept that you will not grow up for quite a while. I personally think kids who grow up with their parents and never leave the house are the first to be confused on this issue.[/quote]

I would agree. Living in Australia for 6 months was a huge growing experience for me. Besides having a great time, I really learned a lot about myself and the world in general.

Do you have the strength of your convictions?

Have you been tested? You don’t have to be the best, or even win, but if you’ve been through trials, you will know how you react and hopefully take pride in that.

Are you overly concerned about what others think of you?

You are asking a question that probably has many different ways of being discussed and answered…

It’s internal, perhaps gained via experience, and if it’s there, it will show in your actions and decisions.

Quite a few “busters” seem to be asking that same question…He he.

[quote]ZEB wrote:
Quite a few “busters” seem to be asking that same question…He he.[/quote]

“Buster” as in ‘Arrested Development’?

Best. Show. Ever.

What, you didn’t get the rules?

Here they are:

  1. Thou shall not rent the movie “Chocolat”

  2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

  3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

  4. When you are queried by a buddy’s wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

  5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

  6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)

  7. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

  8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who’s running late is 5 minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

  9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

  10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

  11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having Sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

  12. Before dating a buddy’s ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return is required to grant it.

  13. Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

  14. If a man’s zipper is down, that’s his problem — you didn’t see nothin’.

  15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

  16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend’s cat.

  17. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddy’s girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them. You are not required to make nice with her gal pal’s significant dick-heads — low-level sports bonding is all the law requires.

  18. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

  19. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you’ll be able to warn your buddy and give him time prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

  20. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless supermodel… and it’s free.

  21. Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

  22. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

  23. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, “What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin”, then you may sit back and enjoy.

  24. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:
    “Yeah, baby, push it!”
    "C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
    “Another set and we can hit the showers.”
    “Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?”

  25. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That’s just plain mean.

  26. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

  27. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she’s withholding sex pending your response.

  28. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you’re on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

  29. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him… too gay.

  30. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye and deliver a “F_CK OFF!” You are absolved of your responsibility.

 It takes initiation. There are many ways.For some it's military service. It's not about being tough, or even brave in the macho sense of the word. It's about having the courage to find out how you'll act in the face of terror. 

 Whether its fear of death or humiliation,it must be faced in front of other men who don't care who you are, where you came from, or whether your feelings will get hurt. 

A man has been through enough to know to value of principles and to adhere to his own.

A man radiates dignity and dictates respect, without opening his mouth.

A man doesn’t let anyone walk over him.

A man has his pride.

A man has gotten over himself.

A man knows what he wants, how to get it, and he goes for it.

And last but not least, a man always puts his pants on before he puts on his shirt, in that order.

A true man (and woman) has integrity.

yea, what pookie said.

Pookie… That was Awsome! I will immediately print this out and deliver to all of my friends…We all follow these to some degree, but to have it written in such a percise and highly intelligent manner is great.

V

Great list Pookie but you forgot one:
#31 - Don’t allow yourself to get tagged with a girlie screen name like ‘Pookie’.

(Unless, of course, you have a macho avatar :^)

[quote]Kruiser wrote:
Great list Pookie but you forgot one:
#31 - Don’t allow yourself to get tagged with a girlie screen name like ‘Pookie’.

(Unless, of course, you have a macho avatar :^) [/quote]

Yeah, I know it sucks. When I first signed on, I didn’t really intend to post, so I just used the name on the throwaway email address I used.

[quote]Vegita wrote:
Pookie… That was Awsome! I will immediately print this out and deliver to all of my friends…We all follow these to some degree, but to have it written in such a percise and highly intelligent manner is great.

V[/quote]

Well, it’s not original. It’s been on the internet for years. I’m surprised you’ve never come across it before.

[quote]lostinthought wrote:
come on dude…is this question for real? I guess my answer to this would be, if you have to ask, you’ll never know. [/quote]

Apparently you were lost in thought on this topic lostinthought. Let me try to clarify.

Tony Montana, a “Man”.
Don Corleone, a “Man”.
Micheal Corleone, a “Man”.
Tony Sorprano, a “Man”.
James Bond, a “Man”.
Batman, a “Man”.
General Patton, a “Man”.

I’m talking about guys that have it together. Alpha Male types. You watch these guys and you know they are a “Man” and have it together. I don’t have that yet.

I’m not talking about guys with a bat and two balls. Hell, the guys on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and lostinthought would be considered a “Man” with that definition.