Behind The Vines 8/04/01

Lookin’ good naked. It’s basically what we’re all here in some way, shape or form for. Bulking up, shredding down, 4x12, GVT we’re a happy family. This BTV, however, is not being brought to you by the word “prose”. Instead, I plan on exploring the funny little concept of “Function”.
How good does one really, truly have to look in order to look good naked? Does the chick in the bar really have some mental tape-measurer fractioning off centemeters in the minute differentiation between your bicep size and that of your training partner? If so, is that same tape-measurer still working after three zombies and a tequila shot? WOuld you want to date a person that has such depth in their selection process? But I…say it with me now kiddies…DIGRESS.

At some point you may haphazardly glance into the mirror and notice that you’re qualified to recieve the “I look good naked” bumper sticker. Horay. Some of us (well, all of US but some of THEM) continue to pump and press, sweat, puke, rinse, spin and repeat. This population has a far more personal reason for said activity.
Most likely nobody will recognize the new cut in your calf nor the inch-worm length vein that recently appeared in your bicep amongst all the others. But you do. It is the product of protocol. YOu’ve followed every step of the 12-weeker and monitored caloric intake to a point of scrutiny that would shame an anesthesiologist.
I did this. For over two years I’ve done this. “To hell with strength”, I thought. " I just wanna look good nekkid." Today, I htink I look good naked. Very good, in fact. Yet I’ve had an epiphany: I like lifting heavy shit, always have. Doing 3x10 of each exercise will not really improve one’s ability to lift a mini-bus. Why does one want to lift a mini-bus? I haven’t a concrete psychological theory other than it’s pretty cool to have lifted a mini-bus, or at least have it in mind as a goal.
Now I’ve reached our special BTV word-o-the-post “Function”. Lookit, I’ll be honest as I always am here; I sitll pack an ego, I desire the cuts and a lil size as I go along. I’d especially enjoy looking good naked while clothed and lifting a mini-bus.
How will I accomplish this slightly off-center feat? Functional training. Big compound lifts, lower reps, lots of grunting, cursing, ect.
Remember, these big lifts work the extremeties as well. Ever feel the pump in your bis after some heavy deadlifting? If not, you should try deadlifting something heavy.
Looking good naked is some quality materail, however I’ve seen that overshadow training that is far more practical to everyday application. Yeah the anti-tank submachine gun looks quite foreboding, but you can’t use it often enough at target practice to become effective with it. Lata.

"MB Eric: Yeah, the apes got Walberg on their planet, but who do you think they traded for him? Since 2024."