I haven’t read “wild at heart,” but I have read two Tony Robbins books. I have to admit that while they got me “up” for a short while, the effects were not lasting. Subsequent readings didn’t help. But, maybe, to paraphrase someone else, I’m “in love with my struggle.” Thanks for the insights.
Sorry to hear you’re going through this, Nephorm. I know it’s tough because I went through the same thing several years ago when I graduated college… although I doubt I ever articulated how I felt quite as well as you did.
A couple of book suggestions. First and formost, “The Alchemist: A Fable About Following Your Dream” by Paulo Coelho. If you’ve already read it, I would read it again. It’s fantastic.
Second, “Going to Pieces without Falling Apart” by Mark Epstein. It helped me through a pretty rough time (depression) a couple years ago. You can pick both of them up at Amazon.com.
This is probably just one of those times in life where you know something’s bothering you but you can’t quite put your finger on exactly what it is. Get used to it; it’ll happen again. But that’s not to say it doesn’t get better or that there’s nothing you can do about it. Keep doing what you’re doing to figure out life and don’t let it get you down too much. Hang in there, bro.
Tyler
Please expand on why you feel this way. Not to start to big of a thread hijack but I feel you have some miss conscieved notions.
I see no problem in gaining confidence from work. Hard work and a job well done is a natural confidence builder. Have you ever seen the look on a child’s face after receiving a compliment for doing a chore, you ever felt that wonderful feeling of getting a paper back with a big fat A on it after busting ass all night on it, you ever felt the dedication to a job to go in 3 hours before everyone else does and leave 2 hours after they do? That’s called pride ya motherfucker. Work builds confidence and there is nothing wrong with that.
And what’s wrong with deriving confidence from loved ones? I’ve seen the confidence grow in my friends once they’ve found that perfect woman. Hell, in life aren’t we all just looking for that perfect woman?
look man…being happy all the time is over-rated. life is one big mind-fuck…the sooner that you realize this the sooner you might stop worrying about your rediculous desire to be happy all the time.
also…it helps to fuck the occasional girl and drink a beer every once in a while.
good luck…
I would never describe myself as someone who has figured things out or is happy. And I may not be understanding the original question completely. But I have some comments anyway 
I think you will gain meaning from your life by choosing a worthwhile goal. One way to define ourselves is by what we struggle against. It’s important to pick a worthwhile purpose whether that is internal or external. Think on a grander scale than usual. The typical goal-setting suggestions apply here… pick short, medium and long term goals. Your long term purpose needs to be something big, even something intangible.
Having a big bench is not a worthy purpose. Being strong is only a means to an end. It’s going to help with your journey, but on it’s own it’s not a worthwhile purpose for most people (competitive athletes are an exception here). You need a larger purpose that is much more far-reaching than that.
Think back on your life… what matters to you most. Where is your passion, and what are your values. What do want the meaning of your life to be? I think that if you can find a larger purpose, you can use that as a reflection to find meaning. Define yourself by what your “struggle” is. Think bigger and aim high. ZEB had good suggestions about looking out for others and serving the needs of the whole. When you contemplate this, do not dwell on what your struggle brings to you, think about what you can bring to others.
My wild guess is that you may need to aim a whole lot higher, with where you are putting your energy. That doesn’t mean “be more ambitious” it means think about serving a higher purpose, whatever that may be (and it may very well change over time).
I hope that didn’t sound like a bunch of new agey crap.