T Nation

Beat Up Some Navy Seals Today


LOL! Yo bros i was chillin at the club n shit last nite i had a tuff workout at tha gym doin upper body day cuz like im the only one at my gym that lifts weights like a man! LOL! all the haterz be starin at me like im sikeo. most of them r fatties n shit just runnin on the treadmill but im there to get my swell on big time cuz im jacked and swole diesel like a mofo! LOL!

i hate the fatties at the gym they all be hatin on my swole gunz and pecs and shit. LOL! i was in a pumped up mood i dunno the adrenalin and testosterone be jackin threw my vains and shit bros! i had mma class too and we practiced some rear naked ground and pound hammerfist rain techneeks i was all pumped i knocked my sparring partners tooth out by accident! LOL! hey if you gunna do mma you better be ready to get beat down! LOL!

at the club i was in a real alpha mood, just me and my crew just settin the mood and the tone for the nite all the ladies be jockin me and my swole fizeeke an shit LOL! all there boyfrineds be hating on me cuz i was gettin all the play from the bitches! LOL! i was sittin at the bar orderin a drink and these two dudes a cuple seets down be laughing and shit i looked over at them and they were drinkin and i asked them what the fuck was so funny. they sed that they be celebratin his birthday and shit i was like whateves and got my drink. then they girlfriends came back from the bathroom and sat down and started drinking there drinks. the bartender said to leave them alone cuz they were navy seals back from war or some shit and it was one of theres birthday i was like whateves bro i train mma so i can handle a navy seal bitch ass! LOL!

i thought they were gay and shit! LOL! I guess they wernt but they looked gay with those gay military haircuts! NO HOMO! LOL! i went back to my boys and they were all like "brah like whats with the homos over their? i was all like nah man they be doing a birthday n shit" but there girlfriends looked aight but nothin i would take home! LOL! on of there girls looked over and caught my eye n shit but i just ignored her n shit. LOL! then i guess they got mad cuz i wudnt jock her back but i went and flipped her off and said she was a nasty skank bitch and she was fat LOL! this dude got up and asked us to stop it and i was like brah ur girl looks like a skank hooker ho so get out my face or ill fuck you up!

fuckin dude went back to his table and i started laughing! LOL! ass navy seal! dont want to fight a real man like me cuz he know hell get knocked the fuccc out! LOL! so i started on like whateves and his girlfried looked over at me again! LOL! She was jockin hard bro! i was like yeah you want some of this! then i flipped her off! LOL! me and my boyus started lauging and callin her a skank ho n shit! LOL!

both of them came over and asked us to stop! i was like yo homie im chillin and shit with my crew get outta my face or ill teach you a lesson! dude was acting all hard and shit so they leave! LOL! homo! we followed them out the club and i whistled at the dudes girl and said if she want to get some real big dick to call me at 1800nohomo! LOL! the dude turned around and said to stop i knew he wanted to fight so i got in his face he backed off! LOL! what a homo his girlsfrined were askin to just leave so i pushed him i knew he was ready to fight.

i opened the fight with a rear angle siscor kick to the right femur followed with a acute crucial judo knee lock to the hip he started whinin like a bitch lol! he never fought a trained fighter in mma before so i let him go and he started limping then he trew a pucnh so i ducked it and shot in for the takedown it started raining hammerfists down on his head but the other dude came up from behind me and tried to pull me off so i trew him over my shoulder with a blind front enguard to the hiro yokisahami shoulder throw he got tossed like a bitch LOL!

they got up and both charged at me but i dodged them and nailed one in the head with a right front cross to the appendum underside alliterate and knocked him out cold! LOL! the other one was ready to try a take down! LOL! what a homo! (no homo!) so I picked him up over my head and used a secret technique that i lernt from a bjj gracie master that is only taught to mma fighters who unlock a level that is master, so i cant tell u! LOL! to bad!

then it was all over but i was like these guys r navy seals i thought tehy were tough but they were just little bitches! LOL! and gess wut? there girlfriends started crying! LOL! so i said hey if you girls want to roll with me and my crew we got plenty of room only of you suck all of our real big dicks! no homo! LOL! but they were all heartbroken and shit seeing there boyfriends all beat up by a trained mma fighter! LOL!

just had to share bros awesome nite! i scored anal with three hot ass chicks that nite too! LOL!


EPIC WIN...All I pictured was Brucie from GTA4 acting all hard


You sound like such an uneducated fuck LMAO!!


Cool story, Hansel.


Live....is that you?


LOL, thanks for that.


your story is banter... from a person that writes like an illiterate child that grew up envious of every person with character and a worthy cause. I guess you and your boyz are among the ghetto elite with high aspirations in life. Its more likely you'll die in some petty drug deal turned violent, WISHING YOU HAD FINISHED THE 2ND GRADE.

To your credit, at least you can type to a lengthy post. And, think of all the time you saved by not running the spell-check!





Hahaha nice.


I did to in my dreams...last night...I have pics?


I gave up when you started talking about rear naked pounding with another guy.


I didn't want to waste time reading something that was going to be BS, when I saw OP's user name.


Love the Class_of_2009 Username
Non-subtle humour is not subtle...


lol watch his profile...hilarious


Probably the only troll I'll ever openly support. Mostly for the profile picture and username, though.

Except Klip.


I didnt read it.

But I did "spar" with a seal once who is a friend of a friend, he was 5'10 and about 170.

He was terrible, being a seal doesn't mean your good at hand to hand


I liked the story witht he chasing a motorcycle gang and changing cars wile doing so better.




That was funny, too many "!LOL!"s though.


I pretty much know where OP is coming from while doing this though.