T Nation

Bats in my Kitchen


You are not gonna believe this shit.

So I'm sitting here posting on T-Nation, up late because I have tomorrow off work. I hear a funny noise in my kitchen, so I go check out if the wind blew something down or whatever.

There ARE TWO GIANT FUCKING BATS flying around in my kitchen. Yeah I freaked out like a little bitch.

I ran upstairs and put a hoodie on, and grabbed a guitar hero guitar to try and shoo them out the open kitchen door. When I got back, the fuckers are gone. FML

Thing is, the ceiling is down in our kitchen because we are having work done, and you can get all the way up to the attic from there.

This blows guys. I don't know where the fuckers went. My protein is in there and I'm hungry. God this sucks. Who do you even call for this type shit?



go eat brother just pack some heat (baseball bat, guitar, etc)

unless there was an open window youre gonna need to check your siding for areas with cracks/openings where those little fuckers squeeze through.

good luck


Fuck me man, we just had our siding replaced. WTF?

I just read that I did the right thing by blocking the rest of the house and opening the door. I didn't see them fly out, but I can't hear them anymore either.

Now I'm gonna read about rabies...

Who do I call for this shit?


get a shotgun


Dude this is worse than hemorrhoids from squatting.

It is quite apparent none of these fuckwads ever had bats in their house. They wouldn't be so lovey Dovey had they.


I'm in full on freak out mode over here man...


My thoughts exactly. Nothing like a shotgun to solve a little pest problem. Start spraying that fucking attic with some 3" Magnum shells and everything'll be fine.


I've had bats in my house before. It's no big deal. They'll just fly around all spooked out and shit until you clobber one of them with a tennis racket. They won't bite....hard.


I have no rackets or guns. I have a Maglite and it is late as fuck now. I need to go to bed. Plus they are gonzo. I haven't seen them since.

Suppose it's cool this happened tonight because otherwise I would have been in bed by the time they broke in.


r u batman?


Remember, they are as afraid of you as you are afraid of them.


This guy bothers me much less


The initial shock is wearing off. I'm pretty tired now.

Score... I just found some bastards to come look at my house for me.


Bull fucking shit. I'm man enough to admit I'm totally freaked out. Dude they were fucking HUGE. and TWO of them... Like 6 fucking inch wings. No way on earth they were more afraid of me. They can fly and hide in small spaces and shit.

I'm pretty sure they are either in my attic or in my walls at this point. No way I was lucky enough were they flew out the door.

I'm sweating my ass off in this hoodie.


On an interesting note, my grandma had a bat in her room a few months after my grandpa died. The rat flew in and just crashed on the floor. She took him with a scoop for the dust and just put him on the window, he was out in no time.


Sweet, grams has more balls than me... Awesome news.

Alright that does it... I'm going back in to get some protein and see if the bastards are still there.


Well they are definitely either in the walls or attic, flew out the door or went out how they got in, because they aren't in the kitchen anymore.

My wife gets up for work in an hour and a half. This should be an interesting day.


when we had some bats in the house when I was a kid, my pops put on some gloves and caught the fuckers in a jar. Hope that helps :stuck_out_tongue:


countingbeans when he saw the bats


You're in for a batty day!


dude I think you should call the animal police!


just burn your house down that'll show em