P.S. I’d say it was a bad temper but, I’m so laid back it’s a problem.
Ditto here.
Take time to think (while you still have the OPTION) before winding up in the slammer and having FORCED time to think.
(Or maybe youre just stretching your luck until then...? Or maybe you just use the drunken context to prevent being sued (and thus repeating the pattern)? Now thats some type of anti-court-insurance – I don`t know that many people who will sue someone when both parties were drunk)
One more thing: spitting in someone’s face is assault, at least in some states. I know a guy who was arrested for spitting in his wife’s face after she hit him.
Wideguy, you also have to take into consideration that many of the people who post on this forum now are crab people. So you’ll tend to get that idealistic, impractical, and totally detached from reality advice that serves no purpose other than to make the person writing it feel important. Don’t let it get to you, it’s drivel.
Another thing Wide,doesnt your boy know that you juice?Why the fuck would he test his juiced up friend,unless he is as well?..
Wide- I’d have done the same thing. I’ve worked in law enforcement for 8 years with no problems with “excessive use of force”. I’d much rather be punched or kicked than have someone spit anything on me…anywhere! It was a spontaneous reaction, no time to stop and weigh the consequences. Apparently some of these people who are bashing you have never been in a fight or are complete pushovers. Some of my best friends were gained because of a little respect getting brawl. No, I’m not some hot headed meathead, I’m 5’4" and 165lbs most of my friends are around 6? and 200+ lbs. Oh, and before someone starts flaming me about the above statements, just like wideguys friend, the ones who are offended are usually the guilty ones…sometimes the truth hurts. Time will heal your friendship, but be the bigger man and start the process by discussing the situation with your friend. Just my 1.5 cents.
I don’t want anyone reading more into my post than was written. I used to bounce in a sizeable bar and was also involved in a few street fights. I am not opposed to using my fists when there is a real need.
Sort of like gun use and ownership. I am against shooting someone over some silly argument. However, I am a strong believer in the right to own a gun and use it for self defense, such as, someone breaking into your home at 3:00 AM to harm your family. When there is no good alternative to punching, or shooting someone, then you do it!
Put me in the category of “discriminate” relative to the use of force. But, ready, willing and able to use it if the proper reason is put forth.
It’s not “force” per se that is wrong. It is the improper use of it in this instance that is so obviously wrong. Especially in light of the fact that other means were available.
After you antagonized your drunken friend, and he spit on you, you could have done any of the following: Grabbed him by the lapels and calmed him down. Given him a measured but firm push and walked away. Warned him that if he did that again you would punch his lights out. Wiped it off and laughed in his face. Simply shook your head and walked away.
I am not advocating any of the above, but any of them would have been a bettr choice.
I hope you get the idea, wideguys life was in zero danger, yet he reacted as if it was.
If you think I am wrong I suggest that any of you bring this case, or what you know of it, before any judge and see what he or she has to say. It’s my guess that not only would wideguy be doing jail time, but he would also be paying a stiff civil penalty to the damaged party.
Wide,
Holding your temper in a bar full of patrons with a guy throwing F-bombs at you is hard enough. The fact that you took the stool and let it drop is pretty good right there. The minute he spits beer on you it’s all over. I don’t want to hear anyone saying your wrong. I don’t care what was said, spitting on someone is assault and you’re damn right I’d react the same way. I’ve got alot of friends I hang with and we are always sarcastic and needling one another. Some guys can’t handle it when you really hit into their insecurities though. But no matter friend or foe, if they can stand up and spit at me they can stand up and take the beating like a man.
Lumpy I didn’t even get to finish 2 amstel lights=I was sober.
Zeb my good freind, I will admit that in a perfect world I could have done things differently. That being said, let me clear up a few things and answer some questions.
The friend I hit wasn’t trying to get in touch with his girl, my cali friend was. The friend I hit made the silly comment about the train.
Now for the question about my enemey. Well that could go a couple of ways, but here’s one. I’d walk over stuff double birds in his grill and then spit beer on his face. Yeah, that’d get just about anybody angry enougth to wanna knock somebody out. Except for maybe you and Gahndi:-)
Next let me clear up this whole “his girl” thing. Please go back and read that again. Jack-wad wasn’t whining about “his girl” he was whining about this ho-bag that he was trying to get with, (despite all of my advice against it) who he hadn’t even kissed. I sat with him for hrs. and tried to tell him as nicely as possible that she was beneath him and some of the shit I’d been hearing about her. He didn’t listen, and the coke-ho comment was about another failed venture that was riddled with warning signs. He’s a decent person, but he lacks a concept of self-worth. As a friend I have done nothing but try to be positive. BTW I’m not defending what I did with this rant Zeb. I am just trying to give you all the story since I value your opinoin. As much as one could value the opinion of somebody they never met.
Now onto the cop issue. First off, as an officer of the law it is my job to put up with BULLSHIT. I get paid, benefits, penchant ect. As a friend I get freindship. How much is that worth might you ask. Well for starters more than letting some pithy little comment about some girl I never even had a relationship with let me spit beer on my freinds face. Next as Mr. Scrub pointed out as a cop spitting in my face would be assualt. Therefore, I’d wipe it off, if neccessary slam the perp. to the streetop, put the cuffs on nice and tight, stuff his stupid ass in the back of my car, and let him spend a relaxing night in jail. Finally while it doesn’t make it right, Burke ( 8 years on the force) also agrees with me.
Scrub two words: Crab people. LMAO!
Dave, yeah he knows I’ve played with the chemistry. Whatever difference it makes, I haven’t done anything since mid september. As for the testing comment?? I don’t know…I guess that’s in all of us.
-Wideguy
Reading your story reminded me of reading a G. Valentino article in Muscular Development, which in turn leads me to think that you and your homies are indeed a bunch of knuckleheads.
There are people out there who don’t have the “shut-the-fuck-up-and-think-about-what-you-do/say” gene, and those are the unfortunate souls who get beaten by their bro’s in bars, loose their tempers at the slightest thing, instigate fights with friends just to see them lose thier minds.
I mean damn, Wideguy, you knew that what you said to him was below the belt, you knew it was going to cut him like a chainsaw, yet you said it to him anyway. You were pickin a fight dude, whether you knew it or not. He had confided in you for years about his fucked up girlie situation and yet there you are, his friend, who he’s trusted, busting his balls in front of the new “Cali Dude” in a bar full of people. For what? To make yourself look better?
His only mistake is that he didn’t try to plow a couple rows of rings scars into your jaw instead of spit beer in your face. The beer in the face thing sucks and you reacted correctly once it occured, just realize that it’s a product of what YOU created.
But hey, do what you do, it’s America afterall.
Your buddys’ pride is still wounded and seeing you only reminds him of the time he lost his cool and you embarrased him in front of a bar full of people and the “new dude” from Cali.
Marsellus Wallace said something about pride to Butch Coolidge in the movie “Pulp Fiction” that I think your homey should lend an ear too.
“you may feel a slight sting, that’s pride fuckin’ wit ya. Fuck pride! Pride only hurts, it never helps. Fight through that shit.”
Talk to your buddy, dig in his skull and see what he’s feeling. That is if you still care about reconcilling your friendship. Don’t rely on heresay or what other people are saying, get it from the horses mouth and work it out.
-ZEB
If you’re anything, you’re consistent and unwavering, like a fucking lighthouse. I don’t always agree with you but I respect your stance.
-lothario1132
That was a very good point about the beer.
Take care,
B.
Brad seconds earlier, the same guy who I hit, just got done saying to OUR friend from Cali’s REAL gf who he has been seeing for some time and has a real relationship with, probably “had a dick up her ass and one down her throat”. Yes were’re all immature and need to grow up and disgusting blah, blah, blah. BUT we ALL chuckled a bit. Then, in the same shit hole bar filled with people I could give a -uck less about I made my comment. Nonetheless about a girl/slut who even he himself had admitted wasn’t worth it, and he had NO type of real type of relationship with. As for showing off?? I don’t know when the last time you’ve been in a bar but they’re pretty noisey and when the games is on it’s just about impossible to hear somebody. Unless they are right sitting right next to you. In short your comment has no validity at all. Always nice to see someone else who appreciates a great movie “That’s a pretty fuckin good milkshake”. Nice analogy on Zeb to, coundn’t agree more.
“you shouldnt fight, youll get sued or thrown in jail.”
translation:
im a crab person pussy and im scared of my own shadow!
Your buddy should have figured that the consequence to spitting beer in your face was getting filled and you need to realize that the consequence to filling in your buddy is the potential end to the friendship. I’m not sure I’d want to keep hangin’ with someone who spit beer in my face anyway, so in the end it sounds like it all worked out well.
Avoid roids and a few others mentioned that you ‘reep what you sew’ and this is true. When I was younger I hung out with many friends who were assclowns and behaved as your friend did. As I got older I realized that loyalty to friends like this was misplaced and slowly drifted away from many allowing myself to make connections with better people.
If you think beating up a drunken friend makes you a man, you have plenty of maturing to do!
Your friend must have had some desire to fight to be spitting in your face anyway. I think you just beat him to the punch…literally!
You deserved that shit. That was wrong. You dont say shit like that about another guys girl. You might as well had gotten her to suck your dick and then asked him how your dick tasted.
“you shouldnt fight, youll get sued or thrown in jail.”
translation:
im a crab person pussy and im scared of my own shadow!
Yeah…like THATs gonna change the judges verdict once your in the slammer. Hope it`s worth it.
Remember, the only thing that matters in the end of your life is if you spawned children or not. The rest is just survival. And, even if you DO have children, in 2 generations, you`ll be just a memory, unless you do some world class stunt. Have fun on your ego trip.
it is so amazing to me that the wussies who have never been in a fight in their lives are always the one saying your gonna get sued or thrown in jail.
thousands of fights happen on a daily basis. i have had a few, i know others that have had boatloads. where do you guys get this info that you get thrown in jail and taken to the cleaners by johnny cochran every time you you hit some asshole in the mouth?
i have never in my entire life seen an actual case where a bar fight or other simple altercation has turned into a legal matter.
quit acting like a sissified, frisco, tree hugging, liberal take your balls out of your purse, and sack the fuck up!
jesus christ you all sound like a bunch of winny fat ladies on oprah.
its a fist fight, big fucking deal!
if you dont think that he was justified in his actions after having beer spit in his face then i recommend you start frequenting E-Mag.com.
I guess you can chalk this one up to one of lifes little lessons. I have been in similar situations with freinds and honestly, go ahead and call me a pussy if you want, IF THIS WAS REALLY A TRUE FREIND OF MINE I WOULD HAVE LET IT GO. That is what freinds do. There are rare situations were you will have no choice to fight and then it really sucks. I will be honest and say that I am afraid to fight for fear of what I will do to the other person. The last fight I had was with a freind in the Marines, he was drunk, I was sober. He was whinning about how he had it so much harder in the unit than I did etc. I asked him how so. He pulled out a knife and stuck it up to my throat and asked how it felt? He ended up with 36 stitches across his forehead and a really bad concussion. I bulldoged him on the concrete floor in a blink of an eye. THAT is when you fight, when truly threatened. Beer in the face you wipe off with a towel and leave. You still have your pride knowing you are the better person. It can still be worked out. Are you wrong Wideguy? Only if your inner soul says you are. I wish I could help but the only thing I can say is that it will be OK. Be the better person and tell the person your regrets if any. If not then leave it alone and move on.
Funny Goldberg, since I’ve done that before (not to a friend). READ AGAIN it’s not his girl JUST SOME SLAMHOG.
Decent advise RU.
You took it too far. Now you are just going to have to ride it out. I have one friend in particular that growing up, I got in scraps with all the time. One in particular comes to mind. We were at a Bear’s preseason game (I’m a Chicago native) and were drunk as skunks. We were leaving the game walking along Lakeshore, and he tried to take me down on the sidewalk. (We are walking out with the crowd, total mob scene.) I managed to stay up, but was pissed because he was trying pretty hard. As we walked past a light post, I grabbed him by the shoulder with one hand and placed my other in the middle of his back and slammed him face first into the post. (It was beautiful.) It was free Walter Payton poster day, and he had about 20 of them rolled up in his hand which he then proceeded to smash me right on the bridge of the nose with, hard. It was go time at this point, but I didn’t retaliate because I knew what happened next would be a deal breaker. Plus, I was satisfied with the post slam. I walked away. I absolutely would have retaliated on your friend, but would have stopped short of something commensurate with what a stranger could expedt. You treated hime like a stranger, basically. That’s probably why his panties are in a wad.