T Nation

Bad temper or common reaction


A week or so ago, one of my really good friends from Cali was visiting for the holidays. I had been working ALOT so I had not gotten to see him that much. Anyway, he and another one of my friends (since 6th grade) were at the bar having a few drinks/watching the game ect. By the time I stopped in they had both done a few shots of JD and had a couple of beers. My jersey buddy was flexing his jack muscles by calling the table full of Dallas fans behind us fags and other flattering things. My Cali buddy was trying to get a hold of his girl who he hadn't spoken to all day, and was getting a little worried. In the tradition of being dicks to eachother my other friend comforted him by saying that she was probably just getting a train run on her ass. We all chuckled a little, no harm done.

Then my longtime freind starts acting like miserable drunken prick and starts whining about how something like that would only happen to him and he always gets stuck with the bad ones wonk, wonk, wonk ect. I chime in with a remark somewhere along the lines of "Well if a girl has a dollar bill stuffed up her nose, or has been impregnated by someone other than yourself half a dozen times maybe you should take those types of things as a warning sign." My Cali friend and I had a good laugh, but my jersey friend flipped. Middle finger in my face blurting out FUCK YOU, basically ready to go. The last thing I wanted was to ruin the evening, so I just dropped it. The moment I turn my head retard spits beer all over the side of my face. I split his eye open with a hard right from my bar stool then sprung up and hit him again in the same spot before he hit the floor. I contemplated stomping his head through the floor but he wasn't conscious.

My Cali buddy pulled me back, and I realized I should leave. I felt sort of bad but quickly existed and went to a safe place. I called my Cali friend to see if everything was alright/no cops ect. He told me everything was fine and then, somewhat to my suprise, he said I did the right thing. Then while icing my hand one of my other longtime freinds called me and said the same shit. Then another, and his oldman got on the phone and he agreed to? THEN my freind who I knocked out calls me, while being driven to the hospital, and says he doesn't blame me for what I did!!!??? We both agreed that it was a stupid thing to ruin a freindship over and I felt pretty good about it.

Well suprise, suprise. I don't see anyone for the rest of the week (work) and on friday I come into my other job were I work with all of my friends. I see my friend who I hit and say "Hi". He gives me the cold shoulder and the silent treatment. Then my other freind explains that "he found out I hit him twice" WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!, I said. Apparently in this jackoffs mind, he understood me hitting him the first time. However the second time was wrong??

Now let me ask you all this. Who here would spit bear in someones face and not be expecting to follow it up with some blows? Would you spit in someones face and not expect to a fight? Would you walk over to someone while they were eating with their mother and stick your dick in their soup call their mom a slamhog, and not be ready to throw the ones? Ok so the last one is a bit much but you get my point.


Ok Wideguy here is my 2 cents...First i am gonna say that your Cali friend should have gotten in between before it got to that level,but im going to assume that it all happened so fast he could'nt do shit about it.Your long time buddy was trashed and just being a prick which he did,and should realize,but if he is pissed you hit him twice,C'mon what the hell is that!?!?Maybe let him get a shot in on you and call it even.Anyway this line:

"Well if a girl has a dollar bill stuffed up her nose, or has been impregnated by someone other than yourself half a dozen times maybe you should take those types of things as a warning sign."...Hahaha fuckin pricless,i'm going to have to use that one....later Bro


You are probably never going to be good friends with this guy again. Granted he did something stupid but who would want to go out with someone who could fly off the handle and kick the shit out of them at any moment? It is clear your friend was emotionally unbalanced himself- he was the week one - you needed to be the strong one - but you weren't because you gave into your emotions and instincts as well, allowing yourself to fly off the handle. This is a mistake you might come to regret for the rest of your life as you will get a bad reputation from this amoung your friends and the people you know.
Bear in mind if you would have chose to stomp him, there is a good chance you could have killed him. Just think how close you actually were to ruining the rest of your life - just because someone spit beer in your face!


Buddies and reactoins like these is exactly the reason why I do not hang in bars or with people who love alcohol too much.

You reap what you sow. What the hell are you expecting between a gang of people intoxicating their brains?


Sounds like the whole lot of you needs to grow up big time. Why spit beer? Why beat someone up? Walk away. You sound like a pack of assholes. As said before, you reap what you sow.


I'd be pretty pissed if someone had done that to me but I wouldn't have hit him friend or not with a barstool! LOL
I'd be more worried about my tendency to pick up weapons at the drop of a hat. Are you a ninja? Where any common everyday item becomes a lethal weapon in your hands!


No he said he threw a punch from his bar stool.

To be honest u prolly shoudnt have git him but u did, hitting him twice makes no difference...lol I dont get that?

Give it time, time will heal the cuts and the cold shoulders.


I read that wrong didn't I?!


Yup, I am an asshole. But he's known that since he met me. Interesting feedback, but I think most of you are just bandstanding. I've sat for countless hours with this guy and listened to his problems when nobody else would. ALWAYS had his back, even when he might have been wrong. We were roomates for a year. Now with all that and more, you can still say that if someone had that little respect for you as to literally spit in your face, you would pick up a napkin blot the spiddle off your face, calmly put on your jacket
and walk out the door?

With that off my chest, Dave, my Cali freind told me by the time he put his beer down I had already laid my other friend out.

I will admit I have somewhat of a temper but WTF! Can you honestly tell me with all of the PC and "right thing to do" BS aside nobody would have reacted the same way.

Also I'm not sure anybody caught this so I'll state it again. Somebody clearly has a problem with you. You try to let it go/apologize ect. Then the same angry/violent person spits beer in your face. WHAT COMES NEXT? HHHHMMMMM. Do you think he's gonna ask if you want a shot of grey goose? Or maybe he's thinking of giving you a shot of fist-in-the-mouth?


W-GUY: Its your call, man. Whether you think its worth it or not, based on what you value as important and if you are in a win-win and/or what`s in line with what you accept and if the tradeoffs are worth it, well...

Its your call. You are the best judge of it in the end. Its your life. We can only give some opinions, but ultimately it`s your call.


I think you did the right thing. None of real friends (which I consider family) would ever spit beer in my face. That is totally disrespectful. He was testing you.

However, I would have hit im in the stomach because he was your "boy" and shit and you knew him along time and I wouldn't want to injure him, and he was pissed drunk. Considering all of the above, especially thew fact that he was drunk, I would let him escape with a few punches in the gut. This would knock the wind out of him but not totally fuck him up or knock him unconscious.

Either way, he's a fuck for spitting beer in your face....drunk or not, and I can see how it would be hard to hold back regardless if he was your friend.


You said something offensive to him, that's why he spit beer on you.

You were all drunk and probably all of you aree in the wrong. if you still want to be friends with this guy, apologize for decking him. That's on your shoulders. Is he supposed to apologize to you because you decked him? Yeah he spit beer on you but you sent him to the hospital. Also, you basically started it by cracking wise.

But it sounds like all of you need to grow up a little, getting trashed and getting into fights is stupid. Especially when you are fighting your 'friends'.


WG, based on what you have said about your friends in the past being mostly druggies or drug dealers, I would consider hanging with a different group. Who you hang with WILL rub off on you one way or another. I was in the same type of position about 40 years ago and damned near ruined my life. Most of those friends are now dead. As to how you reacted, it sounds a bit aggressive for a little beer in to wipe off your kisser but wtf do I know, I wasn't there.


Wideguy my man, listen. I believe your friend is at fault for letting your words get under his skin to the point of physically spitting in your face. That is an act of blatent disrespect. You called his girl a coke whore, but since he's a good friend, you probably wouldn't have said that unless there were some truth to it. That's what sets our true friends apart from the rest: they're not afraid to tell us the truth, even if it's not what we want to hear. Sure, it might piss us off at first, but knowing that our friends have our backs and show love really means something.

He shouldn't have crossed the line. He was acting like a bitch. Now, if your friend is notorious for spazzing like this, maybe you should have recognized that he can't take a little shit like everyone else, in order to avoid any drama. But I think you did the right thing and this will probably teach this guy a little lesson about respect. You just don't do shit like that. Spitting beer in your friend's face in public? Come on.

Now you need to really consider whether or not this guy is someone you have a desire to be tight with anymore. His pride is hurt because you insulted his girl and knocked him the fuck out. If she really is what you say, he will realize it and he'll come around. It's hard to say though, because some people can't admit to making mistakes.

Sometimes you have to be the bigger person. You might be surprised how he reacts if you make the first move. You got the best of him and he probably feels like a piece of shit. I'd say give it some time, try to talk to him and maybe apologize for hitting him. If he doesn't apologize profusely and try to put it in the past, fuck him. You don't need people like that in your corner anyway.

He tested you, you responded. If you do this, it's like you're testing him. There was a thread a while back on true friendships withstanding such tests, and it's true. You don't do it on purpose, it just happens. But you'll know who your true friends are when the shit hits the fan.


dont worry about it bro. he is the one that escalated the situation by spitting in your face. where i come from, spiiting in someones face is about the worst insult someone can give you.

personally id much rather be hit in the face than have beer spit in my face. that is just fucked up imo.

you did what you thought was necessary at the time. you dont need to apologize for reacting to his bullshit. he spit in your face, you knocked him out, its even steven. just forget about it and move on.

if he is gonna keep bitching then fuck him, he aint a good friend anyway.



You antaganized a man who was intoxicated. Then when he, in his drunken stupor, retaliates by spitting beer in your face, you punch him not once, but twice! Not in the stomach, chest, arm, but in the face!

Tell me this, if you were his enemy and wanted to pick a fight with him, to take advantage of the fact that he was drunk, would you have done anything differently?

You would wait until he was drunk, insult his woman to the point where he lost his temper so that your attack would be "justifiable," (at least in your own mind,) and then finish him off with two punches to the face.!

Then you have the audacity to act surprised, and defend yourself, when every single comment that comes back on this forum states that you were wrong!

Let me make this perfectly clear: YOU WERE WRONG! You are not only a very lousy friend! I think you have watched to many movies. Where did you get the idea that you can first antagonize, and then punch out, a friend who is drunk and distraught over not being able to reach his woman?

A good friend would have first not allowed his friend to drink so much. I know this can't always be done, but maybe you could have persuaded him not to by suggesting you leave and do something else. Then, a good friend would have cheered him up about not being able to contact his woman.

At the very least after he spit beer on you, which you had coming, you should have turned to him apologized and then suggested that you get out of there.

Think about who had better judgement here. Your friend who was upset because of his girlfriend and also drunk, chose to spit beer in your face rather than hit you. You, who had complete control of your faculties chose to irritate a drunken friend and then punch him out!

You were wrong on every front and have no defense. Go to your friend and apologize. And then pay for his medical bills regarding any physical damage. When you are done with that, and if he still wants to associate with you, buy him some sort of gift and apologize in writing!

And keep this one fact in mind: Whenever you punch someone in the face you can actually kill them! I don't have to name the ways that this is possible, especially when the person who is attacked has consumed alcohol. You need to wise up! grow up! And shut up when it comes to trash talking! And never again physically touch anyone unless your life and welfare, or the life and welfare of another is at stake!

I know you have stated in another post that you want to be a cop. Let me remind you that this sort of action would not only get you tossed off the force, but would most likely lead to your incarceration. As it should! Not to mention the civil suit that would be brought against you and whatever City that you would be working for, if this occurred on duty.

I don't think that everyone who makes a mistake needs therapy. If so we would all have been in therapy at one time or another. We were all young and foolish. When you make a mistake look at the logic of your actions, admit it, make amends to all involved, move on and don't do it again. The problem is that you don't know that you have made a mistake, judging by your two posts. Now that is a bit frightening.

I have written a long post on purpose. I am hoping that by the time you get to this point you will actually see the light. Your actions are indefensible!


Oh well no harm done this time. Your buddy is a loser and I wouldn't waste anymore time being friends with him anyway. Just learn to manage your temper for next time, as you might not be so lucky. Because if it happens again you just might be the big loser.
Remember this: hospitals and clinics may not be so eager to hire you if they find out you have a criminal record as a violent offender. Do you really want to ruin your life just for your ego? I have had plenty of times where I could have gotten myself into trouble just to satisfy my temper, but, do I really want to be stuck in Canada for the rest of my life, not being able to travel just because of a lousy record? HELLO!! WAKE UP CALL! - you call it posturing if you like, I'll call it using your brain and looking out for your best interests. P-22


There's been a lot of somber advice around here... grow up, watch out for a criminal record, etc. And they're right, really. But damn, I think we're all forgetting one simple fact:


You don't spit BEER when you're pissed off, you CHUG IT!! WTF? Get water if you want to hose off yer wise-ass buddy! To waste beer in my county is a crime punishable by "kick to nutsack". And, I understand that in Germany it is a one month prison term, minimum. I read that somewhere, I swear.

Anyway WG, maybe you got a little too cranky when you hauled off and beat your pal into sweet unconsciousness, but that's what happens when you mess with some large-muscled barbarian-type: A good-ole, down-home, country-style beatin'! :slight_smile:

p.s. I guess I like hyphenating words?


I agree with ZEB.


What ZEB said is dripping with Metrosexuality.