Memo from your CEO:
In order to alleviate the widespread suffering in New Orleans, 15% of your net pay will now be withheld to fund relief efforts. There is no choice in this matter.
It has also come to our attention that there are homeless in D.C. 5% will be withheld for that. Also, there is unemployment in West Virginia – 10% will be withheld for the relief of those victims. There is no choice in these matters.
Do not complain to your supervisor that you can’t live on less. Think of the poor unfortunates from whom you want to withhold your money. Surely their needs come before your selfish desires!
In the future, certain ‘relocation centers’ will be set up for complainers of any sort. If you complain now, we will remember you – and that’s a promise!
Have a nice day!