Matthew Levy’s post got me thinking about this and gave me grave concerns.
A while back I was with a girl I had been involved with for a few months. We were at my place one night, lying on the bed and into some heavy petting and dry humping (both of us being fully clothed). I didn’t realize it at the time but she wanted to stop. She implied as much in a small voice but making no move to leave. The reason I didn’t stop right then (only slowed down) was because I had specifically asked her, at a previous date, if she ever “played the game” of saying no and meaning yes. Her response was, “Sometimes I might need a little convincing.” So when this normally opinionated and aggressive girl was acting fairly docile I thought she was “playing the game”. At this point I slowed down but didn’t altogether stop as I was playing the “convincing” role.
In retrospect I realize that you’ve got to act on whatever is said or implied and forget the mood, just stop. I see,though,how she (who now hates me for other reasons) could say that I tried to rape her.
So here’s the question. How can you be sure beforehand that you don’t end up in that situation? Asking her directly didn’t seem to work very well, and I sure as hell don’t want some girl thinking that I am going to hurt her in ANY way.