At What Point Do You Think You Are "Qualified" to Give Out Advice?

Bigger Stronger Leaner
222

Again; this is selfish motivation.

You don’t want the family member to die, so you tell them how to live their lives. You aren’t concerned with what THEY want; you are concerned with what YOU want.

My parents are smoking, drinking and eating themselves to an early grave. I will be very sad when they pass, but I am so happy for them that they can live a life of hedonism and simple joys after years of busting their asses and living without. Just because it will make ME sad that they pass doesn’t mean it is my job to tell them how to live THEIR lives.

Part of this is because you are 15. Your empathy and perspective have not fully developed yet. It will take a long time. I suggest reading some philosophy.

7 Likes
223

I do more reading than I do posting on the internet because I’m not at the stage where I should be giving advice. I’m 90kg and lean with180kg squat and 230kg deadlift. If I’m not advanced enough to give advice then he isn’t

1 Like
224

Did you do Philosophy at School/University/College or have you just read up on all of it?
Anyways philosophy is very interesting to me. Currently doing at A Level.

225

@ippy I’m sure other members of this forum will be much keener to listen to your advice when there is some Training Log evidence of your feats.
Nevertheless feel free to continue not giving advice.

2 Likes
226

You’ve been working out with weights 3-5 times per week since you were 18 years old. I honestly had forgotten that you’d been lifting that long. All I remembered was how you introduced that RMP thread, with ‘5’11" 195# 2014 start 165# 2016 finish. Made a lifestyle commitment and went from 195 - 180 without any real changes over 1 year.’ I took that as when you started to get serious. And that’s essentially what your physique reflects, in your before and after pictures. I guess you were like 30 or 31 in your before picture, and let’s both be real, that picture does not look like a guy who has been training for 12-13 years.

So I will change my point. You actually are pretty much the same as me in training age and actual age. And yet your progress is substantially different from mine. I can even shorten my training age for comparison to go back to when I was natural, for a more even comparison. The difference between what you’ve achieved at this point, versus where I was 3-4 years ago, is night and day. So I feel like I’ve done a lot more right in my training than you have. I guess you could argue that your failures have taught you more than my successes have.

But yes, I concede that we have similar training ages, after going back to look at your RMP thread.

4 Likes
227

I’ll address Duke real quick, because I actually like him and his enthusiasm, and I have no desire to run him off (as opposed to our friend Zach)

Duke: When I was in my early 20’s, I was put in a position of authority at my job over people 2, and even nearly 3 times my age. I did not get much respect from them. I had appropriate knowledge for my position, but I had not proven myself to them, and my age, in and of itself, was a problem.

This is real life, brother. You have to accept, at some point, that being a young kid, your advice will not be received well, and giving it will not serve you, nor the person you’re advising. It’s a tough pill for you to swallow, because you believe you are acting altruistically, and you are also convinced that your knowledge exceeds that of others. I am not going to tell you whether or not you are stupid, nor am I going to address how much you actually know, because that stuff doesn’t actually matter a whole lot in the big picture of advice-giving, as much as you want it to. You are not in a position of authority. You’ve made admirable games, but you’re still not where you need to be to give advice.

I DID what you’re doing when I was younger, and smaller. I thought I was in a position to give advice, because I’d read a bunch of books and articles, and felt I had a good handle on what should and should not be done in the gym. And it always irritated me that people weren’t receptive to it. Now, being on the other side, I get it. That’s what I"m trying to impart to you, and I’m hoping you will develop some empathy for the other side. You haven’t walked the walk yet, and for that reason, you will not get respect. Period. Put your nose to the grindstone for the next 5-10 years, develop an enviable physique, and then come back to what you’re trying to do now. EVEN THEN, most people won’t be receptive to your critiques, but you’ll at least be in a better position than you are now.

One last note that I think you haven’t considered. There is nothing wrong with getting hurt. Injuries are ok. You know all those things that you’re worried about other people doing in the gym? As far as risk and danger are concerned, those are going to be NOTHING compared to what, say, I am doing in the gym. Lifting 300 lbs atlas stones is a FAR more dangerous activity than having a shitty squat form, or bad ROM, with medium to light weights. We are all responsible for the risks we take, particularly as we get older. It will never, even be your right or place to give unsolicited advice to anyone, in any walk of life.

9 Likes
228

@duketheslaya, this might be helpful to you. And obviously to add on to it… If they reject your help, move on along…

1 Like
229

Gosh flip, not to suck up to you or anything but I really appreciate all the advice you’ve been giving out on here. Someone (maybe I’ll do it) ought to start a compilation of best advice given etc. I still recall the one about you being a former drug addict who decided to get his shit together. Pretty darn inspirational.

5 Likes
230

If I’m shouldering a 250 lbs Atlas Stone, or carrying a 700 lbs yoke, I’ll probably ‘look like I’ll hurt myself’, because the risk is extraordinarily high with these activities. I would suggest that the simple fact of ‘they look like they’ll hurt themselves’ is not a sufficient cause to approach someone with unsolicited advice. There are ways to approach these people, but I honestly believe that this alone is not sufficient. Now, if a person looks like they’re engaging in risky behavior, AND they seem lost and looking around for assistance, that would be a good enough reason to approach someone and say 'hey man! are you looking for some tips on your squat? I’ve been squatting for a few years, and I noticed a few things you’re doing. ’ and go from there. But never, EVER lead off with the advice itself, never stop someone in the middle of what they’re doing, and if the person gives you ANY indication that they don’t want your advice, don’t give it.

2 Likes
231

Uh well. I guess I could say I’ve some degree of strongman experience so those kinda things do come off as normal to me so yep. That check list of mine is more of a personal thing. I once saw someone zercher deadlift 405 for a set of 10 or something and that didn’t come across as odd to me so I’d say my definition of “looks like they’ll hurt themselves” is pretty loose… But yep, agree with everything you’ve said.

still doesn’t think its safe, but at the same time, I don’t think it qualifies as “looks like they’ll hurt themselves”

232

that’s kind of why I don’t like your definition, lol. For one thing, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone in a commercial gym actually get hurt in a substantial way, particularly based on what I believe your criteria to be. I have seen it at my strongman gym, and I have hurt myself as well. That’s why at the end of the day it comes off as a superiority motive rather than altruistic. I do the same thing too, in my head, I’ve just developed the discipline to stop myself when I want to intervene. We could spend every day at the gym correcting shitty squats and deadlifts, but that doesn’t mean we should. A knee caving, half squat with 225 probably isn’t as dangerous as we make it out to be. If it was, we’d see people falling over with injuries just about everyday, lol.

I think you’re taking my point, so I’m going to leave it at that :slight_smile:

5 Likes
233

1st Thank you!!! So cheesy but helping people makes me feel good.

And this.

This thread really seems to have blown up.

To answer the OP, when ever the fk you want. Labels unless used to harm other people (like saying this supplement will make you look like him/her) are inconsequential.

I dont give a shit what you call yourself or want me to call you. It is irrelevant to my life or happiness and frankly none of my fucking business to begin with.

Everybody started somewhere.

As for the philosophy debate probably going to get burned but…

I am pretty opinionated (read stubborn) as to what is “ideal” for 99% of the population. But I do understand that a lot of different things will give results and the one constant needed for results is effort.

1 Like
234

I dont buy this one. I know it is common practice and kind of a “degree of knowledge” in the gym world but good advice can and does come from anywhere.

At the very least a different opinion can give ideas for problems you are having.

That being said I don’t ever give advice to anybody unless asked (or I try really really hard not to unless I think they are going to hurt themselves…like using little wobbly 5lbs plates to raise their heels for a squat and I bring them the plates to add weight to machine stacks before saying anything…if they are standing on a bosu ball I let them go because I assume injury is the goal).

2 Likes
235

It was supposed to be a joke (sorta)!

It’s like that meme that goes something like “out there is a woman who is warming up with your max”.

In any case, it is largely the reason why I don’t care all that much about my strength level in comparison to others anymore. There ARE women out there who are warming up with my squat max. I hope to change that by next yearish, but the fact remains.

And that’s fine with me. I’m doing this shit mostly as a hobby/health purposes and out of the conviction that, among other things, a fit man really should be able to squat at least double his bodyweight.

1 Like
236

My minor in undergrad was philosophy, and my grad degree was primarily western political theory. Most of my reading came afterwards.

2 Likes
237

What do you work as if I may ask?
Something related to philosophy or if not don’t say if you don’t want to.
Interested as a possible career path perhaps.

Any “light” reading recommendations also?

238

This Is Ippy. I completely forgot I had this account until I was walking to the gym. I’ll use one as it is my real name. I have started a workout log with videos.

I hate it when people give advice about subjects they don’t know anything about. Maybe it is because of my family, who are very opinionated and don’t let ignorance get in the way.

I’m honest and straight to the point. A complete novice is talking about giving advice to other people is so arrogant. I didn’t say anything wrong or that I would say face to face. You must be aware that there are people that read this forum but don’t post.

1 Like
239

I work a middle management position at present. Nothing related to philosophy, but I use it everyday.

What are you interested in? There is a lot out there.

240

Nothing specific with a topic of philosophy just doing it as a subject and I’m rather good at it and enjoying learning it. We just finished knowledge, and are covering Cosmological and Teleogical arguments.

What are your favourite/most intriguing areas of Philosophy?

241

These days, I stick primarily with existentialists. Read a lot of political theory before that.