Being on the same bus, right behind you on the left, that you’re in I have something to offer brother. You have to keep on trucking. There are several factors that you have to consider. Namely your current economic, legal, and social environment.
You have to remind yourself one fact constantly, you’re only 19. I would beat myself over this until I began to remind myself I’m only 20. “FUCK I need to gain faster” “This or that isn’t catching up” etc, etc. You have to realize that your young bro.
Time is still on your side. You also have to realize that with our frames, we are both the same size, we need to come in filled out and in shape to the best of our abilities or else the smaller man that is on will hand us our asses.
As for the gear aspect of it, (IMO) this boils down to how much mass you gain on what and for how long and how the body reacts off. Its user specific. Another man’s plate might not be what works for you. More isn’t always better. As for blast and cruising, you need to have a steady, almost secured supply.
Due to the current legal environment regarding gear, one little speed bump with LE is enough to throw a wrench in the gears. As we progress, our bodies change, even more attention is drawn to us socially i.e. the kid at the gym looking to score gear because you happen to be one of the big guys.
A rookie on a mission to make you an example is all you’ll need mate. One willing to expose whatever he needs to expose in order to get a little star by his name. This choice also carries the proverbial “point of no return”. Recovery can be almost impossible and if does it will be severly under the ranges of the norm if you were on for prolonged periods of time, IMO and based on my research.
(Actually you’ll probably end up on TRT if you do come off and if you find an endo that will offer the help) You have stay in the race. Time is still on your side. Set goals that are time-bound so you can fight towards them.
Example: I need to be primed for dieting mid 1st quarter of 2010. As for the gear, I can’t give you a winning formula because I don’t know your body (no homo). More gear at longer cycles might not be the answer. If you?re off, tweak the diet, the training and train like you?re still on: heavy and hard.
Then jump back in on another sensible cycle, add a different compound or several, increase dosages, and see what happens, but remain hungry and fight for your goals. For one day, you?ll realize you?re there and you?re doing it. Cheers