T Nation

Asking Her to Marry Me

[quote]Lonnie123 wrote:
Asking people on the net about YOUR woman probably isnt the best idea. You have to know her tastes… My girlfriend would hate some kind of cheesy proposal. Some girls dig the whole dinner and then getting on one knee… Think about your woman, there all the answers lie.[/quote]

Hi Lonnie123

I know my woman but im just after some idea’s ,if i can get some usefull advice here that’s great if not then it doesnt matter.
Its like u asking someone about about a new weights program u are on,only u know if it will work because its your body but if people can give u some advice or tweaking then it all good.

“lol” comparing woman and weight training together hmmm ive got problems haha.

Some very interesting idea’s from everyone.
Thanks again
ill keep u posted

HHH

[quote]HHH wrote:
Thanks for the responses guys and gals.

Ive got some thinking to do,thinking of asking her on a “special” day such as b-day,anniversary,christmas,new year something like that :smiley: [/quote]

I did this, and it worked very well. And best of all, now it’s easier for me to remember the date…

[quote]HHH wrote:

I think the idea of me taking her to pick the ring would be best,im dead set hopeless on what ring’s and stuff she likes “lol” im a typical guy what can i say.

We recently had a baby girl-8 month’s ago to be exact,so i was thinking of incorperating her in some way.

Anyway i better get back to work.

Cheers

HHH[/quote]

W/r/t getting the ring it’s hard to say without knowing what the market is like in Australia. Here, you pay a mark-up through the nose if you buy retail – if you have any friends or contacts in the gems business, I would suggest buying a cut stone from one of them and then having it set.

The most important things about buying a diamond are the 4 C’s: carat weight (i.e. size), cut, color and clarity. I put carat first because the less your lady knows about stones the more important she will think size is. You can read up all about stones on this website:

http://www.bluenile.com

I actually found their prices to be pretty competitive for the quality, but I have no idea whether you could even use it to buy a stone from Australia.

My personal tastes dictated that I get the best quality I could in all the areas, while setting a price range for myself and setting a size limit (I hate gaudy, especially when it comes at the expense of quality - but that said, how it will look will depend a lot on the size of her hands).

Don’t let any salesmen talk you into buying something you can’t afford, and don’t talk to any salesmen with her there (for multiple reasons, but mostly to avoid being pressured by the salesman into buying something you wouldn’t otherwise consider due to price restrictions).

Good luck Bro!

  1. The Proposal:
    I’d pick a day that either means something to her (possibly a holiday) or is numerically very easy to remember (April 5, 2006 = 4-5-06). If she’s the type that gets all emotional over you remembering a date, all the more reason to make it easy on yourself.

Pick a method that will make for a great story. Chicks love to tell the story of how they met their SO, were proposed to, were married to, etc. Make it a good story! I’m not a terribly “romantic” person so for me the whole candlelight dinner/ walk on the beach kinda crap doesn’t work. I’m much more into something like having the “Will you marry me” deal flash on the Jumbotron at a hockey game followed by a closeup of him getting on his knee right there in the stands. You know her, what kind of story would she like to tell?

  1. The ring.
    Ok, I’ll probably catch flak for this but I gotta ask - Why buy a diamond at all? They’re the shittiest investment you can possibly make! You can pay 5k WHOLESALE for a diamond and try to sell it 10 minutes later and be lucky to get $500 out of it. Why go into any kind of debt over something that holds absolutetly no real value?

I love to look of a big, flashy (even gaudy) ring but I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to drop 25K for something I like the look of! Instead, put $500-800 (wholesale) into a great custom setting and plop a $60 cubic zirconia into it and get the 25K look. You can get CZs that even jewelers can’t tell from diamonds until they do that hardness test on it (good CZs rank up there with semi-precious stones, they’re not fragile just not as tough as a diamond). And at $60 a pop, you can replace the stone whenever you want.

I’d rather take 6 vacations at 4K a piece than have a ring that ain’t worth (resale) the price of airfare. Or have a nice downpayment on a house. Or pay off debt. Or buy a new boat or car outright. At least you’d have something of value to show for that cash!

Talk about a great story… “Yeah, he gave me this 25k engagement ring and since boys don’t wear engagement rings, I bought him a boat.”

karma,

I wish I could have had you talk some of that anti-diamond sense into my now wife back before I shelled out for a clear piece of polished carbon. I tried that whole route twice: once arguing against diamonds, and once against the wedding (an elopement would have been just fine by me, though my mom would not have been pleased). In both cases guess who “won” (no fight because I surrendered the point immediately)?

Oh well – I’m sure we’ll eventually recoup the time value of all that money spent… =-)

BostonBarrister,
Don’t get me started on weddings! Good lord, what a monumental waste of financial and emotional resources! I swear between the Hallmark industry and the bridal industry, chick’s (and their corresponding beau’s) have been duped out of bazillions of dollars and taught/conditioned to behave ignoramously when their lofty ideals haven’t been met.

Unless you’re a trust fund baby and can have mommy and daddy pay for everything, and a wedding planner do all the legwork and organizational crap for you - don’t go there.

If I ever get married again, it will be a destination wedding. I’d send out announcements 4 months in advance saying

“Hey! We’ll be in Jamaica (insert tropical paradise of your choice) on X date getting married! We’d love to see you there for a wild weekend!”

And whoever shows, at their own expense, shows and we party like rock stars for a few days. Then, they get to leave and I get some serious one-on-one time with my new hubby. You’re already going to be paying for a honeymoon - throwing in a little beachside ceremony ain’t gonna add up to much more, unlike the whole wedding/reception crap. If the folks who don’t show want to throw a BBQ when I get back, great! If not, oh well!

I just can’t see the logic behind starting your life together under the burden of debt that most weddings create. Use that money for something useful and have a kickass time of the whole ceremony part too!

[quote]~karma~ wrote:

  1. The Proposal:
    I’d pick a day that either means something to her (possibly a holiday) or is numerically very easy to remember (April 5, 2006 = 4-5-06). If she’s the type that gets all emotional over you remembering a date, all the more reason to make it easy on yourself.

Pick a method that will make for a great story. Chicks love to tell the story of how they met their SO, were proposed to, were married to, etc. Make it a good story! I’m not a terribly “romantic” person so for me the whole candlelight dinner/ walk on the beach kinda crap doesn’t work. I’m much more into something like having the “Will you marry me” deal flash on the Jumbotron at a hockey game followed by a closeup of him getting on his knee right there in the stands. You know her, what kind of story would she like to tell?

  1. The ring.
    Ok, I’ll probably catch flak for this but I gotta ask - Why buy a diamond at all? They’re the shittiest investment you can possibly make! You can pay 5k WHOLESALE for a diamond and try to sell it 10 minutes later and be lucky to get $500 out of it. Why go into any kind of debt over something that holds absolutetly no real value?

I love to look of a big, flashy (even gaudy) ring but I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to drop 25K for something I like the look of! Instead, put $500-800 (wholesale) into a great custom setting and plop a $60 cubic zirconia into it and get the 25K look. You can get CZs that even jewelers can’t tell from diamonds until they do that hardness test on it (good CZs rank up there with semi-precious stones, they’re not fragile just not as tough as a diamond). And at $60 a pop, you can replace the stone whenever you want.

I’d rather take 6 vacations at 4K a piece than have a ring that ain’t worth (resale) the price of airfare. Or have a nice downpayment on a house. Or pay off debt. Or buy a new boat or car outright. At least you’d have something of value to show for that cash!

Talk about a great story… “Yeah, he gave me this 25k engagement ring and since boys don’t wear engagement rings, I bought him a boat.”[/quote]

That is the smartest thing I have ever heard. I wish all women thought like you!

Definately a recurring theme when it comes to Karma.
:wink:

[quote]Hellyeah wrote:
I wish all women thought like you!

[/quote]

  1. Don’t do something corny like put the ring in her dessert or glass of champagne. Just ask her like a man, without groveling.

  2. Go to the Diamond District in NYC, 47th st btween 5th and 6th, get a GIA certified diamond w/certificate, then make the guy who sold it to you go with you to the GIA headquarters on the corner and make sure the certificate matches the ring.

Bonus; don’t marry anyone with more problems than you or a bad temper.

good luck, bro

[quote]~karma~ wrote:
Don’t get me started on weddings! Good lord, what a monumental waste of financial and emotional resources! I swear between the Hallmark industry and the bridal industry, chick’s (and their corresponding beau’s) have been duped out of bazillions of dollars and taught/conditioned to behave ignoramously when their lofty ideals haven’t been met.[/quote]

Someone marry this woman… now.

My Aunt is the only other woman I know who has a similar attitude. And I’ll be damned if my uncle is not the happiest guy I know of…

Last Christmas, my dad got my mother two pairs of diamond earings and said, “Choose one set. I’ll return the other.” It took her no time at all to figure out which one was her favorite. She came around to each of us and pointed out how superior the gems were and what not, while we just pretended to look really interested. And when she brought the other one back to my dad he said, “Wow, I thought you would have chose the other one. It was 1/4 carat bigger…”

In no more than three seconds, the other box was in my dads hands, as my mom had dashed all the way to the other side of the house and back to get the other set.

Women…

“A woman’s test in life is material. A man’s test in life is a woman.”

Ahhhhhhhh Karma i think i will marry u instead ,how cool of a chick are u.

Some more good idea’s everyone,thanks for that.

Regarding wedding’s that’s where it is good,she does not want a big wedding,she says why spend shitloads of money on people who u only see once every 2 years or relatives that u really dont like :smiley: She would much rather get married at a nice island location or something like that.

Now after thinking for a while,i think im going to take her with me to pick out the ring,then she can pick what she likes.
Now if i do that,when i propose ,if i have no ring to propose with do i just ask her to marry me without a ring? will that work?
This could all change though,still not 100% sure ill do it this way.

Take care

HHH