T Nation

Asking Her to Marry Me


Hi Everyone

Well after a great 5 years,im going to ask my girl to marry me.
Now i have 2 questions here.

1.Im not going to do the old (take out for dinner get down on one knee and pop the question)i want to do something a little different,nothing to extreme just Different.
Any cool or different ways u guys asked your girls to marry u? Tips?

2.The ring
Now im not sure how much to spend on a ring,now im not exactly rolling in dough but id like to get her something nice.
One of my friends got his wife a engadgement ring for $300 australian.Now i found this to be a bit cheap for a ring,i even thought my mate was a cheapskate.
So what price range do u guys and girls reccomend.

Hmmm quite a gay post when i look back at it.Not to worry though,my main focus is getting her to say YES :smiley:




A moment of silence for a fallen brother...



Spend a month's salary on the ring. You can't go wrong there.

About the asking, what you say, and how you do it really doesn't matter...yes, I mean it.

It should simply show that you have put time, effort, planning, and thought into it. Make her happy.

After all those years, you'll know what to do.

Finally, old tricks are the best tricks.


Has she pointed out any rings she admires or do you know her style? Check out estate sales; my in laws found my ring for $500. and it was appraised at far more than that. (It wasn't my style at first, but I have grown to love it. It definitely fits my style now.)

As for popping the question, my husband asked me right after I got out of the shower with my hair all plastered to my head and my makeup not even on! (At least I was dressed, jeez!)

A friend of a friend asked his wife at a state park. they went hiking and he asked her at the top of the mountain. (Actually, it was Enchanted Rock state park in Texas; it's a giant pink granite stone. Took an hour to get up there!)

Take her on a picnic or a bike ride out for coffee. Hell, take her hang gliding! Do something that's YOUR style that SHE will appreciate and enjoy, also. :slight_smile:


As far as the ring selection goes, I suggest you take her shopping, have her give you several options to choose from. With something she will wear for the rest of her life, she should have some input.




I spent about $1,700 Australian on my wife's engagement ring. She would be looking at rings and jewels all the time anyway, so when she pointed one out that she really liked, I secretly bought it for her.

Breakfast and Champagne in a hot air balloon at dawn works nicely as a back drop for the proposal, IMHO.


My wife is a teacher/school counselor, I surprised her with the help/approval of one administrator at the school, and proposed to her in front of all the students and teachers and administration at a school chapel/assembly, I had about 500 very shocked and surprised witnesses, to her saying yes.


think special ... not expensive



Thanks for the responses guys and gals.

Ive got some thinking to do,thinking of asking her on a "special" day such as b-day,anniversary,christmas,new year something like that :smiley:

I think the idea of me taking her to pick the ring would be best,im dead set hopeless on what ring's and stuff she likes "lol" im a typical guy what can i say.

We recently had a baby girl-8 month's ago to be exact,so i was thinking of incorperating her in some way.

Anyway i better get back to work.




I definitely agree here. However, from my personal experience, if we'd done that, I'd have a ring that I now am not too fond of. So it helped ME to be surprised.

My father in law is a jeweler and he and my mother in law have good taste. He hand crafted custom bands for my brother and sis in law, also. (I married well!)

  1. Propose while

  2. Check out justmetal.com . Titanium is indestructible and thus makes a great symbol for a ring.


HHH, is she old-fashioned at all? If so, you have nothing to lose with the dinner date proposal. I asked one of my fiances to marry me after dinner while we were strolling along the beach during a full moon. Worked like gangbusters.

Not to be a pig, but I am one, so whatever I'll just add this:

Maybe it's just me, but I would definitely ask a girl to marry me in some milieu where we could have some good (not quickie) sex pretty soon after. There's no better way of really cementing that special moment (and having a funny/romantic story for afterwards) than a roll in the hay. Or the sand, for that matter.

Even though that ship has sailed, I still smile when I think about my "shy" lady on that moonlit beach.


I took my girl to an Italian restaurant and then we went to see Les Miserables, our favorite musical, performed at the Little Theater in my town (between the two of us we were friends with half the cast or more).

Afterwards I "took a wrong turn" and "decided to have dessert" at The Melting Pot (fondue restaurant). I had dropped the ring off with the owner earlier and he brought it out (in the box) on her dessert plate. She thought it was red velvet cake. Ha!


I think if you can make it into a big surprise, all the better.

If you are thinking of a birthday, take an idea that we use to annoy people on birthdays and Christmas.

On her birthday, giver her a card that takes her on a hunt to find clues to find her birthday present. By the time she is done with the wild goose chase, and finds her present, a proposal will be the last thing on her mind. Just be ready to drop to one knee when she opens the box.

You could also end up with a large box, and a smaller box inside, strongly secured to the bottom, so you can offer to get it out for her. In the process, you will have the box, and subsequent ring in your hand to propose.


I know it's tradition, but I've never understood the concept of asking someone to marry you. Doesn't it naturally come up in conversation at some point? Before we were married, my wife and I discussed the matter over a period of time, as we would any other major life decision. "Popping the question" is considered romantic, but to me it seems quite arrogant. It's as if you're saying "I've already decided all on my own that we should get married, now you need to decide if you agree."


My roommate volunteered me and my other sorry ass roommates to light like 10000 bags of sand with candles in them in some flower park and bought her a 1500$ ring. The reasoning on spending so much is I guess he said a lot of people dont put down the money for the ring first and buy their wives a better one later on, he wanted to get it all done at once. His funeral/wedding was pretty fun though.


Sarcasm moment:

If anyone is seriously thinking about a titanium ring, try one on yourself first and break your finger.

Try and cut that off, I double-dare you!

Serious note: Titanium is a bad idea for that reason- you're seriously buggered if an elephant stands on your hand or anything.


Yeah, my husband and I had agreed long before he asked me that we were going to marry each other. Asking was just a formality.

My dad had to get weird about it and expect Tim to ask for my hand in marriage. eyes rolling


If you have already decided you want to propose, don't wait till Christmas, that's just too long! She's already been waiting five years.

Some tips on ring shopping if you do decide to go it alone and make the whole thing a surprise (which I highly recommend):

Most girls like white gold these days, unless she has traditional taste or has mentioned that she likes yellow, I would go with a white gold band.

Diamonds are priced based on the carat (which is the weight, not the size) the color, the cut and the clarity of the stone. A really fancy setting will also affect the price. A jeweller will tell you all about this and you will probably start stressing out about the quality of the stone you are buying. Don't. Very few people can look at two different stones the same size and tell you for sure which one is worth more. Just as long as there are no major flaws, just get the biggest looking diamond in the simplest setting you can find. Solitaries are always good.

I don't know about over there but in Canada most jewellers mark up their diamond rings by 300% or more. Try and get an older person to help you (better chance they might be an owner) have a big wad of cash with you and don't ever pay the tag price. Be prepared to leave if they won't give you a good deal.

One last idea which you may or may not want to consider. Look around some pawn shops for rings and see if you can find a nice diamond for a good price (personally, I would only buy one with an appraisal), then take it to a goldsmith and have the stone removed and put in a brand new ring. Might be a way to get her something really nice without spending a fortune. If you do this though, take it to your grave. Tell her you had the ring custom made, but don't tell her the diamond is second hand.

One last thing, my ring was only $375. I picked it myself and purposely went with something small because we had no money at the time. I couldn't care less, I just was so in love and wanted to be married. Then again, I only had to wait four months for that moment. The impression I have got from many of my girlfriends is the longer the wait for a proposal, the bigger the expectation is going to be.

Hope this helps!


Asking people on the net about YOUR woman probably isnt the best idea. You have to know her tastes... My girlfriend would hate some kind of cheesy proposal. Some girls dig the whole dinner and then getting on one knee... Think about your woman, there all the answers lie.