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Article on Sex and Bonding

Over lunch, the Puffs had an interesting discussion about this article from today’s WSJ. I thought some of you might enjoy discussing it with your significant other. There’s some interesting research about sex and long-term pair bonding.

From the WSJ - He Says ‘More’ and She Says 'No"

Good Article Puff.

And just when I thought marriage looked so good.

I have a serious question though.

Why do women who do not fuck their man object when he gets it somewhere else?

The only way this would make sense to me is when its a powerplay, first you monopolize a mans sexuality, then you manipulate him with it.

I also believe thats what it really is, but what stories do women tell themselves to make it all ok?

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

…Why do women who do not fuck their man object when he gets it somewhere else?..

[/quote]

That’s an easy one: security. If he’s getting it from somewhere else the chances are much higher that he’s going to move on sooner or later.

What’s interesting, and confirmatory, is (from the article in Mrs. Mower’s words), “I decided to raise my game. I let myself feel what I really felt and tried to dig into what had always been buried.”

Apparently, she didn’t take any drugs or start a fitness program or go to a therapist or whatever, she just read a book and DECIDED to try not being so damn selfish. She “let go.” In the process she probably discovered the axiom, The More You Do It the More You Want It.

Many a woman, and in some cases, man, would do well to learn that lesson. In my opinion few things if any are more insidiously destructive when it comes to dismantling a relationship.
[/quote]

Yeah well, but who put the idea in womens brains that bitching, moaning and guilting is a sufficient substitute for mind blowing, ball draining, pair bonding sex?

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

…Why do women who do not fuck their man object when he gets it somewhere else?..

[/quote]

That’s an easy one: security. If he’s getting it from somewhere else the chances are much higher that he’s going to move on sooner or later.

What’s interesting, and confirmatory, is (from the article in Mrs. Mower’s words), “I decided to raise my game. I let myself feel what I really felt and tried to dig into what had always been buried.”

Apparently, she didn’t take any drugs or start a fitness program or go to a therapist or whatever, she just read a book and DECIDED to try not being so damn selfish. She “let go.” In the process she probably discovered the axiom, The More You Do It the More You Want It.

Many a woman, and in some cases, man, would do well to learn that lesson. In my opinion few things if any are more insidiously destructive when it comes to dismantling a relationship.
[/quote]

Yeah well, but who put the idea in womens brains that bitching, moaning and guilting is a sufficient substitute for mind blowing, ball draining, pair bonding sex?[/quote]

The Devil himself.
[/quote]

Sneaky bastard.

Eye rolling…Orion, no way am I gong to try to speak for everyone with two x chromosomes. There were some interesting facts about the chemistry involved, and emotional and communication differences between the sexes.

BTW, I like you Orion.

Maybe this is a good time to admit that Orion is actually my troll account.
It seems so obvious. I can’t believe nobody figured it out yet!

<<<<<<---------- If you are wondering what Orion looks like. And he lifts like a girl.

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
Eye rolling…Orion, no way am I gong to try to speak for everyone with two x chromosomes. There were some interesting facts about the chemistry involved, and emotional and communication differences between the sexes.

BTW, I like you Orion.

Maybe this is a good time to admit that Orion is actually my troll account.
It seems so obvious. I can’t believe nobody figured it out yet!

<<<<<<---------- If you are wondering what Orion looks like. And he lifts like a girl. [/quote]

Its true.

I am her and she is me.

It was good while it lasted.

[quote]orion wrote:
And just when I thought marriage looked so good.

I have a serious question though.

Why do women who do not fuck their man object when he gets it somewhere else?

The only way this would make sense to me is when its a powerplay, first you monopolize a mans sexuality, then you manipulate him with it.

I also believe thats what it really is, but what stories do women tell themselves to make it all ok?

[/quote]

You give women too much credit (and likely men too). I don’t think that people in general tend to think about their motivations in those terms. People are just not that introspective.

In your way of interpreting it women would be cold, calculating, evil, and men would likely be as well in their own way. I think that a lot of sexual tension, like so many things, boils down to selfishness. But not in a well planned out sort of way, just a plain ol’ human nature sort of way - not being able to see past one’s own inflated ego.

[quote]lucertola wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
And just when I thought marriage looked so good.

I have a serious question though.

Why do women who do not fuck their man object when he gets it somewhere else?

The only way this would make sense to me is when its a powerplay, first you monopolize a mans sexuality, then you manipulate him with it.

I also believe thats what it really is, but what stories do women tell themselves to make it all ok?

[/quote]

You give women too much credit (and likely men too). I don’t think that people in general tend to think about their motivations in those terms. People are just not that introspective.

In your way of interpreting it women would be cold, calculating, evil, and men would likely be as well in their own way. I think that a lot of sexual tension, like so many things, boils down to selfishness. But not in a well planned out sort of way, just a plain ol’ human nature sort of way - not being able to see past one’s own inflated ego.[/quote]

See, that is not true.

I believe women to be warm and nice and fluffy.

And I am not kidding too.

I believe that their genetic programming is mercyless, that they have no clue about it and that they would cry like little girls if they had.

I feel pity, not hate.

Also, I wanted to know what stories they tell themselves.

Women are excellent at rationilizing their most feral instincts, what stories do they tell themselves so that it is ok?

Just want to know the narrative.

It seem like the biggest thing going on was a lack of communication and understanding between them, which are deeper seeded then the points of sex, And once they got that out of the way all was good again. It is crazy to see how one misunderstanding or communication issue can make an entire relationship collapse on itself. Or was it that she had some sexuality issues, maybe a combo of both.

[quote]orion wrote:
Also, I wanted to know what stories they tell themselves.

Women are excellent at rationilizing their most feral instincts, what stories do they tell themselves so that it is ok?

Just want to know the narrative. [/quote]
I am also curious what this lady was telling herself by not having sex with her husband for a year. She’s cute too I’d be thinking she was nailin the pool boy or something.

According to all my married friends, their sex lives exploded once their wives read 50 Shades.

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
According to all my married friends, their sex lives exploded once their wives read 50 Shades.

[/quote]

Yeah,gag them, spank them, fuck them hard.

What else is new?

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
Over lunch, the Puffs had an interesting discussion about this article from today’s WSJ. I thought some of you might enjoy discussing it with your significant other. There’s some interesting research about sex and long-term pair bonding.

From the WSJ - He Says ‘More’ and She Says 'No"

[/quote]

Nice article. Thanks for sharing.

Haha. Wife’s response to keeping a written record and drawing a chart of when they had sex… ‘his memory is highly subjective’

[quote]RampantBadger wrote:
Haha. Wife’s response to keeping a written record and drawing a chart of when they had sex… ‘his memory is highly subjective’[/quote]

That was my Ex’s response to my complaints of months of nothing.

Actually she just ignore facts that doesn’t met her view of the universe.

Which is why she is now an ex.

[quote]pushharder wrote:

Apparently, she didn’t take any drugs or start a fitness program or go to a therapist or whatever, she just read a book and DECIDED to try not being so damn selfish. She “let go.” In the process she probably discovered the axiom, The More You Do It the More You Want It.

[/quote]

I agree with this completely. It also reminds me of a similar point I’ve made many times on this site. That is that people can simply choose to love. In any relationship there will be hard times and feelings will wane. Some people LET the pitfalls of life be a wedge in their relationships and they grow apart until they have no love. Other people CHOOSE to love anyway and those pitfalls simply amount to little bumps in the road.

It’s far less about compatibility than it is attitude.