A time to train
There are those that pay lip service to the idea of working out - dawdling around the gym, raising the odd press and curling the odd dumbbell (but never remembering or recording their workouts and so never properly measuring their progress) - and there are those who get the bit between their teeth, pick a plan, work their soon-to-be-walnut-like asses off in accordance with said plan and, often as not, appear to get mighty results. I was never one of those guys, only I just didn’t realise it until recently.
I’d convinced myself otherwise, to be sure. On occasion you see, I’d highlighted a month or two’s worth of training plans in my Men’s Health Home Workout Bible, attacking these programs half-heartedly using my hastily purchased home bench, barbell and cheapo dumbells, and then - you guessed it - eating some trifle. And cake. I like cake.
I mean I’m not too much of a lardy assed couch potato with ideas above his station. I do also indulge in, besides eclairs and Kit Kats, a bit of climbing, mountain biking, and all manner of occasional fun sweaty stuff, but I never really took lifting seriously. And because I didn’t have a real, simple to follow program, I never really pushed it. Until now that is.
You see, I currently reside in the Middle East (Dubai to be precise) where it is - to put it mildly - crazy hot at this time of year (46C today, hardly outdoor cardio weather), and where most apartment/housing complexes include their own gyms (my current dive being pretty well equipped weights-wise). What I’ve discovered then, being a born-again newbie y’see, is that lifting weights until you wobble and narrowly hold down the puke, is a great stress reliever. And I always thought it was running or swimming until you couldn?t see for sweat. Doh.
As boxing isn’t really encouraged here (neither the official kind nor ‘off the cuff’ beatings), the only way, it seems, to unwind after half an hour on the roads (think: whopping great 4x4s driven by folks with too much money and time, but waaaaay too few manners) is to head gymwards and grunt it out.
While I’ve been a T-Nation reader for some time - probably a year or so - but I’d only really logged on for general motivation really. Anything to get me off my butt. What I got off on (and still do) is the attitude towards training, the ‘all or nothing’ ethos, and the pervasive subtext of ‘Who gives a **** what anyone else might think? Are they righteous? Are they educated? No, screw ?em’, which of course T-Nation has with bells on.
The specific thanks for getting me to finally start proceedings with a swagger and a grunt (and a plan!), goes to Vroom’s newbie-friendly post yesterday (erm, this one in fact). His links to starter pages within this very site, including training plans and more, was just the conversation starter my imaginary friends in my head needed (bear with me!). The little lifting angel on my shoulder whispered: “Now’s yer chance Matt, stop reading, start doing. Here’s a list of beginner lifting programs, right in front of you, one copy and paste away. The only question is this: have you got the balls?” The devil on my other shoulder meanwhile, quipped just the right line: “You’s a pussy and you ain’t got the minerals my son.” Well, balls to him; if there’s anything I can’t stand is someone (particularly invisible dwarf-like entities) telling me I can’t deal with something. ‘I?m on the MOFO,’ I thought.
Fast forward but a few hours later and I find myself aching like Jenna Jameson’s A-hole after a particularly energetic session with Buttman, but feeling like step one has been taken on the road to realville.
My chosen plan: Chad Waterbury’s ‘3-day per week, full-body workout plan’. Holy moly on fire, that’s one serious way to spend 45 minutes!
I went for Chad’s 8-week intro plan for its simplicity, and its brevity, though I must admit to thinking beforehand: “Three sets of just five reps? Just six exercises three times a week? We’ll see?”. And I did see, immediately. I very nearly saw the bench from the underside. And I very nearly saw my lunch spray all over the mirror I was squatting by. But I made sure I kept good form, I think I breathed when I was supposed to (out to lift, in when lowering right?), and, well, so far, so heavy.