T Nation

Are There Demons in YOUR Snickers?

Came across this little gem today. In a column on the Christian Broadcasting Networkâ??s Web site, writer Kimberly Daniels asserts that â??demonsâ?? sneak into bags of Halloween candy at grocery stores.

My favorite part, which was later deleted from the CBN version of the article:

"During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."

This is cracked, even in the viewpoint of most Christians, even fundamental Christians! After a lot of negative comments on their site, and a ton of ridicule from outside sources, the Christian Broadcasting Network pulled the column entirely.

However, you may read the column, which orginally was posted on the Charisma site, by accessing the link below. You will learn all about the evil that is Halloween. Don’t skip the comments section. Some of those are priceless.

High school pep rally bonfires? Satanic rituals. Just so you know. Red, yellow, and red? The work of the devil, for sure. And don’t forget the possessed candy.

Never fear, friends. You can go to this link and vote for which candy is the most satanic of all!! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/29/christian-broadcasting-ne_n_338738.html?slidenumber=ub0RrEWRlk8=#slide_image

Dude, the demons in Snickers…that explains why I keep wanting to eat them. Thanks!

Yes, and when you hear those voices calling out to you, “eaaaaat meeeeee…eaaaat meeeeeeee” they are real. That is the demons, whispering in your ear, tempting you. I recommend holy water. Or a silver cross. Or is that for vampires?

I think organized religion has been holding humanity back for too long.

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
I think organized religion has been holding humanity back for too long. [/quote]

There are people who are religious who are idiots. there are people who are not religious who are idiots. This is a case of the former. Nothing more than that.

Well, maybe they saw the top of a Snickers and subconsciously drew a conclusion that a Snickers could kill us all with a Bat’Leth because it looks like Worf’s head.


.

How stupid.

I remember my friends mom telling me that halloween is evil and it’s when demons prey upon the weak.

Coincidently, she’s ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

i’m going to keep posting these til they start showing up.


He’s already chocolate.

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
I think organized religion has been holding humanity back for too long. [/quote]

I think fat people have been holding humanity back for too long. Let’s harpoon them. Ask yourself this, how does a framework slow someone down. Only if someone corrupt makes it like that, changes it like that, or convinces you of something that would slow you down.

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
I think organized religion has been holding humanity back for too long. [/quote]

pssssst… that’s kinda the way it was sposed to be set up.

corporal punishment for the short term, and those who care about it, eternal damnation for those who dont.

once (if) people realize that their actions have multitudes of consequences outside of themselves, they no longer “need” an outside, governing body to control/guide them to do the right thing and be a good person.

"Just consider the logistics required to pray over all of that candy?

Confectionery manufacturers must maintain oversized witch staffs (or covens) during this period of the year to keep up with the increased output. There is a lot of candy rolling off the lines and that must require a giant workforce.

So, in this down economy, when nobody is hiring; business must be booming for those in the witch dedication biz."

Hah! I loved this comment.

[quote]WormwoodTheory wrote:
He’s already chocolate.[/quote]

LULZ

[quote]CBear84 wrote:
That One Guy wrote:
I think organized religion has been holding humanity back for too long.

pssssst… that’s kinda the way it was sposed to be set up.

corporal punishment for the short term, and those who care about it, eternal damnation for those who dont.

once (if) people realize that their actions have multitudes of consequences outside of themselves, they no longer “need” an outside, governing body to control/guide them to do the right thing and be a good person. [/quote]

can you define “good” apart from an outside governing standard?

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
That One Guy wrote:
I think organized religion has been holding humanity back for too long.

Ask yourself this, how does a framework slow someone down. [/quote]

When it stops becoming letting people believe whatever they individually want to believe and they start taking children and brainwashing them at an early age that if they believe anything besides the religion that they have by the happeningest chance been made a part of, they will go to hell.

[quote]karlrichii wrote:

can you define “good” apart from an outside governing standard?

[/quote]

the internal governing standard. or is there a more specific question you would like answered?

Demons covered in chocolatety goodness…mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I guess that’s why my farts smell evil.

Goddamn, I love Snickers bars.

[quote]CBear84 wrote:
karlrichii wrote:

can you define “good” apart from an outside governing standard?

the internal governing standard. or is there a more specific question you would like answered?[/quote]

first off; thanks for the reply and yes this leads to a more specific question; what happens when two peoples internal governing standards are in opposition? ex: Let’s say I like the idea of sleeping with my buddy’s wife; my buddy is not too keen on that idea and thus we have a conflict of desires.

without an objective standard of good to adhere to all we have is opinion and preference and his “opinion” that I shouldn’t sleep with his wife is not enough to deter the good that I see coming from me sleeping with her.

Take that concept and multiply the people involved by 3 billion and you get the current state of the world. to sum it up, when the chips are down i dont think that man’s internal governing will lead to him doing the “right” thing at the expense of is happiness except in extremely rare cases.