My wife could care less and is not impressed by my lifting or physique…
The wife knows not, cares not. Her only input when I go off to do anything sports related is “don’t come home hurt”. If I take off my shirt to mow the lawn, she gets embarrased and wonders who I’m trying to impress…
I think she appreciates the fact that I’m not fat, but she still thinks I’m lazy - but most of all she appreciates that I’m tall, so I can pull things off high shelves when she needs them.
There’s an odd balance to it, I think. On the one hand, when I started lifting I was 6’3" and floating in the 145-150 lb range. I was one of those bastards who was so skinny that I could suck in my gut and count my ribs all the way up my torso. My wife met me when I was 20 lbs heavier than that, which still had me thin as a rake.
Now I float in the 235-240 range. I don’t have a gut, but I’m far from ‘cut’. Abs are just sparse shadows. I’m currently trimming down a bit while trying not to lose gains in strength and size.
But the truth is that, for all this, while my wife periodically comments on the change in size I’ve acheived over the years, I don’t know that I’d call her attitude one of being “impressed”. When it’s beneficial to her, like in needing furniture moved or in my presence making her feel a little safer, she appreciates it. The flipside is that she complains about how much I eat and the way I wear out furniture.
Other women seem to appreciate my build (which, apparently, goes right over my head as I’ve never noticed it), but it’s enough to turn her into a green-eyed little monster now and then.
[quote]Northcott wrote:
There’s an odd balance to it, I think. On the one hand, when I started lifting I was 6’3" and floating in the 145-150 lb range. I was one of those bastards who was so skinny that I could suck in my gut and count my ribs all the way up my torso. My wife met me when I was 20 lbs heavier than that, which still had me thin as a rake.
Now I float in the 235-240 range. I don’t have a gut, but I’m far from ‘cut’. Abs are just sparse shadows. I’m currently trimming down a bit while trying not to lose gains in strength and size.
But the truth is that, for all this, while my wife periodically comments on the change in size I’ve acheived over the years, I don’t know that I’d call her attitude one of being “impressed”. When it’s beneficial to her, like in needing furniture moved or in my presence making her feel a little safer, she appreciates it. The flipside is that she complains about how much I eat and the way I wear out furniture.
Other women seem to appreciate my build (which, apparently, goes right over my head as I’ve never noticed it), but it’s enough to turn her into a green-eyed little monster now and then.[/quote]
I wonder if there is a psycological play to this thing. While my wife openly admires bodies on her soaps, she does not go ga ga over the sight of mine, which, I must say at times is MUCH more admirable than some of these ab twits on TV.
I will also say that by far…her comments about my change have been about 1 thing…the size of my ass. She calls it “Black Ass”. It’s too large and sticks out too much for a white boy.
Is it that the wives want to keep us in check? Keep the married t-man modest by not overstating or overdwelling on our accomplishments?
Or does it really not matter to them in the grand scheme?
My wife compliments me a lot and tells me my muscles look great…seems impressed with the amount of weight I lift…it’s funny though…I appreciate her comments…but I feel like I’m an obese, weak, fat ass walking around on 2 skinny toothpicks…
[quote]Rockscar wrote:
Northcott wrote:
There’s an odd balance to it, I think. On the one hand, when I started lifting I was 6’3" and floating in the 145-150 lb range. I was one of those bastards who was so skinny that I could suck in my gut and count my ribs all the way up my torso. My wife met me when I was 20 lbs heavier than that, which still had me thin as a rake.
Now I float in the 235-240 range. I don’t have a gut, but I’m far from ‘cut’. Abs are just sparse shadows. I’m currently trimming down a bit while trying not to lose gains in strength and size.
But the truth is that, for all this, while my wife periodically comments on the change in size I’ve acheived over the years, I don’t know that I’d call her attitude one of being “impressed”. When it’s beneficial to her, like in needing furniture moved or in my presence making her feel a little safer, she appreciates it. The flipside is that she complains about how much I eat and the way I wear out furniture.
Other women seem to appreciate my build (which, apparently, goes right over my head as I’ve never noticed it), but it’s enough to turn her into a green-eyed little monster now and then.
I wonder if there is a psycological play to this thing. While my wife openly admires bodies on her soaps, she does not go ga ga over the sight of mine, which, I must say at times is MUCH more admirable than some of these ab twits on TV.
I will also say that by far…her comments about my change have been about 1 thing…the size of my ass. She calls it “Black Ass”. It’s too large and sticks out too much for a white boy.
Is it that the wives want to keep us in check? Keep the married t-man modest by not overstating or overdwelling on our accomplishments?
Or does it really not matter to them in the grand scheme?
[/quote]
If a guy gets to thinking he’s good looking, a wife figures he may go lookin’…
[quote]Rockscar wrote:
Is it that the wives want to keep us in check? Keep the married t-man modest by not overstating or overdwelling on our accomplishments?
Or does it really not matter to them in the grand scheme?
[/quote]
I think it’s just a matter of human nature: most people don’t appreciate what they have until it’s gone… or until it looks like somebody else is trying to take it away from them.
My wife appreciates both my strength and my look. She really likes how I leave the days stress that I can on the mat and not bring it home with me.
My wife has noticed that my stress levels have decreased, that I look better, and feel better, and am healthier because of it. She started lifting herself in March and has managed to lose over 50 pounds and is in as good of shape as she has been soince we got married 33 years ago. She has noticed some of the same benefits herself.
She is impressed with the way I look, worries about the amount of weight I’m lifting. At 41, using the information I’ve gained on this site, I’m lifting more than when I was 21 in the military.
TRAJJ, I’m in the same boat bro. What I have learned here and on elitefts.com, I am so much more stronger now then I was when I was in HS and college. Congrats, and keep on lifting.
My previous ex - couldn’t give a toss.
My most recent ex - Was impressed by the strength and numbers but far more impressed with the body it gives me.
my new fb’s - all impressed with the body and only one of them is impressed with the amount of weight I shift.
This thread is great. My wife, likes the size I put on. When I stop going, or am trimming down, she remarks on it, would rather have me huge all the time rather than cut. Never, that I know of worries about the weight I life.
Don’t know if she is impressed by it or not, but she does spot me at the gym. As far as the stress level, she has told me “You need to go to the gym, you are turning into a big puss.” Talk about a blow to the ego, as a result I rarely skip a training session.
My wife comments on my shape - usually to say, “you’re all muscley.” She could care less about how much I lift, except that my paltry numbers are still high enough to scare her. I never noticed if other people get how much weight I lift. They just know I lost allot of fat about 18 months ago.
[quote]skidmark wrote:
Rockscar wrote:
Northcott wrote:
There’s an odd balance to it, I think. On the one hand, when I started lifting I was 6’3" and floating in the 145-150 lb range. I was one of those bastards who was so skinny that I could suck in my gut and count my ribs all the way up my torso. My wife met me when I was 20 lbs heavier than that, which still had me thin as a rake.
Now I float in the 235-240 range. I don’t have a gut, but I’m far from ‘cut’. Abs are just sparse shadows. I’m currently trimming down a bit while trying not to lose gains in strength and size.
But the truth is that, for all this, while my wife periodically comments on the change in size I’ve acheived over the years, I don’t know that I’d call her attitude one of being “impressed”. When it’s beneficial to her, like in needing furniture moved or in my presence making her feel a little safer, she appreciates it. The flipside is that she complains about how much I eat and the way I wear out furniture.
Other women seem to appreciate my build (which, apparently, goes right over my head as I’ve never noticed it), but it’s enough to turn her into a green-eyed little monster now and then.
I wonder if there is a psycological play to this thing. While my wife openly admires bodies on her soaps, she does not go ga ga over the sight of mine, which, I must say at times is MUCH more admirable than some of these ab twits on TV.
I will also say that by far…her comments about my change have been about 1 thing…the size of my ass. She calls it “Black Ass”. It’s too large and sticks out too much for a white boy.
Is it that the wives want to keep us in check? Keep the married t-man modest by not overstating or overdwelling on our accomplishments?
Or does it really not matter to them in the grand scheme?
If a guy gets to thinking he’s good looking, a wife figures he may go lookin’…[/quote]
Well, to each their own, apparently. I’m in the above category. My wife of eleven years stands in the opening to our living room this past weekend, arms crossed and brows furled. I already knew I wasn’t going to like this conversation. It opens with a question about the bag of ON serious mass I have in the closet. And how many things do I need to exercise, the weight gainer, protein powders, protein bars, etc. She wants to know when it is going to stop, when will I be big enough. I don’t want to get mad, but…we all normally are our own worst critics. We never see ourselves as others do. I am by no means big (5’07", 175 - 180lbs depending on time of day), but yes, certainly bigger than when we got married.
The part that confuses the crap out of me is when she comes home from her office, making fun of the doctor she works for, because she had the nauseating experience of “accidentally” seeing his flabby man-boobs, and this guy is younger than me. I guess all would be well if I was 145lbs again. Now that’s just embarrassing! That had its place back when I was in the Marines, but no more.
Being scrawny and cut just looks unhealthy, versus stout, IMO. But I digress. And reiterate, to each, their own…and to those that have the significant others that support their weight training, I am envious.
[quote]fiveoh01 wrote:
It opens with a question about the bag of ON serious mass I have in the closet. And how many things do I need to exercise, the weight gainer, protein powders, protein bars, etc. She wants to know when it is going to stop, when will I be big enough. I don’t want to get mad, but…we all normally are our own worst critics. We never see ourselves as others do. I am by no means big (5’07", 175 - 180lbs depending on time of day), but yes, certainly bigger than when we got married. [/quote]
Don’t worry. The noise eventually dies down to a dull roar. 
Or rather, the occassional furrowed brow and muttered utterance.
I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, my rack and weights are in the basement with my home office – and as a result I’m always around, save for the periodic night out with the guys. The last time my wife really got on me about training – and I mean really looking to fight it, rather than periodic PMS rumblings – I pointed out that if the worst she could say about her husband was that he works out, eats “too much” healthy food, and stays in good shape, she’s obviously lacking a real beef to bitch about.
No, it didn’t go over well at the time. 
Two or three days of petulant silent treatment was worth the ensuing years of peace, however. Tales of her friends’ husbands eyeing 18 year-olds, refusing to do chores around the house, and/or taking off for several week-long trips a year “with the boys” helped.
She’s come a long way, and is now starting to see the value of weight training herself. But Christ on a crutch, it’s been a frustrating journey at times! Really, I’m not the greatest catch, but some people don’t realize how good they have it until they’re smacked upside the head with the clue stick. They’ll get hung up on the little things and fixate on them rather than looking at the big picture.
Kind of like users who bitch about the minutae of T-Nation.
[quote]Northcott wrote:
Don’t worry. The noise eventually dies down to a dull roar. Or rather, the occassional furrowed brow and muttered utterance.
I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, my rack and weights are in the basement with my home office – and as a result I’m always around, save for the periodic night out with the guys. The last time my wife really got on me about training – and I mean really looking to fight it, rather than periodic PMS rumblings – I pointed out that if the worst she could say about her husband was that he works out, eats “too much” healthy food, and stays in good shape, she’s obviously lacking a real beef to bitch about.
She’s come a long way, and is now starting to see the value of weight training herself. But Christ on a crutch, it’s been a frustrating journey at times! Really, I’m not the greatest catch, but some people don’t realize how good they have it until they’re smacked upside the head with the clue stick. They’ll get hung up on the little things and fixate on them rather than looking at the big picture.
Kind of like users who bitch about the minutae of T-Nation.
[/quote]
Hmmmm - funny similarities between your life and mine. Same lifestyle habits and wifely outlooks. Even throwing out perfect logic meets adversity, though. And you hit the nail on the head with the monthly visitor…it was that time. I hate to blame that, but I’ve never seen more irrationality and crazy talk than when it’s ‘that time’. You could have flip charts and Oprah on your side, but it matters not.
My wife has self-worth issues, which is probably the root of it all.
I certainly appreciate your perspectives Northcott – and totally agree. Thanks.
If I were guessing, I’ll bet she likes what she sees, but …
She was probably happy with what she saw ten pounds ago. You’ve hit the point she is happy about you, now she wants to know just how much further this goes, how much time you are taking away from her, how much more money you are going to spend.
Kind of like implants. I had a neighbor. First set she got, her husband was happy. Second set she got, he kind of leered when he talked about. The third set (even larger) he was going “like ok, enough”, and the fourth set no longer enthused him.
Does that make any sense? Kind of like when a guy has a hobby. An hour a week, might make your wife smile and have her encouraging you. Forty hours a week, she is going to throw tantrums.
Five dollars a week? She may not even notice. Five hundred dollars a week, a surgeon making two million a year can get away with it, but the rest of us are going to be putting a major strain on a relationship.
Here a good line I get…
“Stop wasting money on all this food and supplements…they do nothing for you. All you need to do is work out harder.”