My wife and I just got back from Europe (Scandinavia) and one of the things that we constantly noticed there was the rudeness and unfriendliness of the locals and other tourists, mostly from Europe. It seemed to us like nobody was smiling, returning our greetings, holding doors or elevators, no small talk, actually some were quite hostile when we approached them the way one would normally do here in the US. Coming from a medium sized US city (about 100K) this was really not what we expected while visiting the “happiest” countries in the world (Norway, Denmark and Sweden).
So what’s the deal with that? Or are we just spoiled here in the US?
…keep in mind that you’re on holiday; you have a different mindset than the locals who go about their everyday lives, and who couldn’t care less about american tourists and their sensitivities. Furthermore, american pleasantries are often perceived as fake or forced by europeans and, as you’ve experienced, are met with disdain…
…but your experiences are mostly due to the inability of tourists, and americans in particular, to suspend the way your american mind works and take-in/adapt to your new environment. IOW, you expect people to respond to you the way you are accustom to in the US, but you’re not in the US anymore, are you?
[quote]catone wrote:
My wife and I just got back from Europe (Scandinavia) and one of the things that we constantly noticed there was the rudeness and unfriendliness of the locals and other tourists, mostly from Europe. It seemed to us like nobody was smiling, returning our greetings, holding doors or elevators, no small talk, actually some were quite hostile when we approached them the way one would normally do here in the US. Coming from a medium sized US city (about 100K) this was really not what we expected while visiting the “happiest” countries in the world (Norway, Denmark and Sweden).
So what’s the deal with that? Or are we just spoiled here in the US?[/quote]
Each region has their own customs about being “friendly”. So, maybe what you did was alien to them, but they may their have their way that’s alien to you.
Stupid question. But, I’ll reply. To me, Americans often seem superfluous in their niceties. In my experience, with people from “polite” countries - Britain, Japan - everyone is polite, but you can distinguish “politeness” and “niceness.” Get what I mean? Americans seem to try to be nice, which puts me off because I’m not used to that, just politeness.
Anyway, I’d say British people are polite; most young mainland Europeans are cool, if not as well-mannered. Adult mainland Europeans are alright too, but can be snooty. In Eastern Europe… People can be f*cking rude, unless you’re a tourist (i.e. cash bag). Never been to “Scandinavia”
[quote]ephrem wrote:
…keep in mind that you’re on holiday; you have a different mindset than the locals who go about their everyday lives, and who couldn’t care less about american tourists and their sensitivities. Furthermore, american pleasantries are often perceived as fake or forced by europeans and, as you’ve experienced, are met with disdain…
…but your experiences are mostly due to the inability of tourists, and americans in particular, to suspend the way your american mind works and take-in/adapt to your new environment. IOW, you expect people to respond to you the way you are accustom to in the US, but you’re not in the US anymore, are you?
Somewhere, on a European message board, some dude is asking the question:
“Are all Americans obnoxious?”
Does that tell you something?
I strongly feel that the more you believe in a particular stereotype - in this case, that Euros are rude - the more likely you are to come across as the conjugate - e.g., the obnoxious American - to the other side. Just a thought.
[quote]PonceDeLeon wrote:
Why Costa Rica? I went there in February.
[/quote]
I’ve read - can’t for the life of me remember where - that in South American countries that people are much more friendly when it comes to their interaction and body language.
I was at an ATM and some local chatted me up, was very polite despite just ending a long work day. Recommended me a nice spot for drinks and dinner, even said he’d call his buddy that works there to take care of my friends and I.
I think there’s a correlation with per capita income and friendliness; the less people have, the more likely they are to be satisfied by the same simple pleasures.
Look at Cuba. Everyone I’ve talked to who’s been has said that people may be dirt poor, but they are so much happier than most people in the States. They just drink, dance, go to the beach and not give a fuck about much else. And they have next to nothing but their culture.
[quote]NateOrade wrote:
PonceDeLeon wrote:
Why Costa Rica? I went there in February.
I’ve read - can’t for the life of me remember where - that in South American countries that people are much more friendly when it comes to their interaction and body language. [/quote]
i read something like that too. probably in a textbook. sociology or psychology.
i hope people do not think i am rude because i am unsociable. i really havent got the patience for phony small talk
I think ephrem’s point about being on holiday is a good one. I live in a tourist area and probably occasionally strike visitors as rude, or perhaps cranky. That’s because those of you who visit here are sometimes in my way when you’re meandering around. People tend to forget that while they may have two weeks off work, not everyone does. If it’s the weekend and a pretty day I’m happy to meet new people and chat them up.
Another thought is that coming from a mid-sized city you may not be realistic about how people behave in a major city. It’s different. I’ve lived in places like Austin, TX and Richmond, VA…and they’re nothing like NYC or London. Smile a goofy tourist smile at a New Yorker and he’ll probably shove you onto the subway tracks.
Aside from that, I’ve been to various parts of Europe and didn’t find people unfriendly at all. But I’m pretty good about not engaging people who don’t want to be engaged.
[quote]eremesu wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
PonceDeLeon wrote:
Why Costa Rica? I went there in February.
I’ve read - can’t for the life of me remember where - that in South American countries that people are much more friendly when it comes to their interaction and body language.
i read something like that too. probably in a textbook. sociology or psychology.
i hope people do not think i am rude because i am unsociable. i really havent got the patience for phony small talk[/quote]
It’s only ‘small talk’ when you have an agenda (e.g. to come across as friendly). If you truly care to meet new people, to give recommendations on sites to see, etc, then it’s not just ‘small talk’ and it’s certainly not phony.
nordic countries are not big on showing affection or holding doors for foriegners…
all notherners are like that showing affection is not their “thing”
like irish people only show affection when they are drunk !
dont be put off you just didn’t know they were like that now if you went and drank with them and lastest then yes they would have been nice.
I was at an ATM and some local chatted me up, was very polite despite just ending a long work day. Recommended me a nice spot for drinks and dinner, even said he’d call his buddy that works there to take care of my friends and I.
I think there’s a correlation with per capita income and friendliness; the less people have, the more likely they are to be satisfied by the same simple pleasures.
Look at Cuba. Everyone I’ve talked to who’s been has said that people may be dirt poor, but they are so much happier than most people in the States. They just drink, dance, go to the beach and not give a fuck about much else. And they have next to nothing but their culture.[/quote]
The more money people have the more likely they are unhappy and eat nothing better than Macdonald’s… seriously the rest of the world is eating freshly grilled tuna,fresh veggies and fresh baked bread while we have a nasty burger and fries… messed up lol
what I found when I went to holland was about the same.
people were nice-ish when you wanted to buy things from them but I soon learned by a friends family that our political stance has made americans one of the most hated people in the world.
this is their viewpoint anyways but I think that kind of holds true because I saw adds and shows and all kinds of things where americans were shown to be backwords and stupid and,well obnoxious.
its not that europeans were rude I found several very lovley people in the country part of holland
in the cities it was more like any big city though.
I guess if your not used to the large city vibe then you would think tha tthey were rude.
then again I did get into an actual fist fight because I was called a stupid american and asked not so nicely to go home.
