Well, this discussion will be based off the book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover and some thoughts of mine.
Well first off, I'm 19 and I would say that I'm a very polarizing person and people who know me in real life, they either really dislike me or vice versa. Recently, I've come into quite a few social scuffles with people and that has got me thinking. Doing a little soul searching if you may. Upon asking a few people, I've been described with words such as Alpha, Egoistic, Arrogant, Domineering, Aggressive and so on. I've heard this words used on me before but I never really understood them. I get what the words mean but I simply cannot comprehend why they were used on me or rather, why was I perceived in such ways. This got me thinking and I remembered said book mentioned above.
I took the test based off the book ( http://www.integralpsychology.org/uploads/1/5/3/0/15300482/king_warrior_magician_lover_inventory.pdf ) and my results were as follows. I am 75% warrior, 12% king and 6% magican and 6% lover.
In all honesty, I don't really know what this means. I've yet to read the whole book but I've read parts of it and excerpts written on it.
To help (hopefully) better illustrate my point and gain a better understanding of me, here are some things I believe in which people I've spoken to claim to be "fucked up" and "not normal" and other possibly useful info.
I don't see the need to appeal to the masses. That would be popularity and it is ultimately counter productive. The masses are stupid and a infestation of mediocrity. Why would I lower myself to their level?
I don't see a need to prove myself to others, my self worth is solely based off my own beliefs and my perception of myself.
I treat people based off their worth(usefulness to me) and the authority(power) which they hold. Since I'm 19 and no one really holds and power, it'd mainly be their worth. I do not view most of my peers as equals and it is often because I feel that they're not... Trying hard enough, for lack of a better way to phrase it.
You can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs.
The most disgusting thing to me is when someone refuses to change and improve despite their obvious flaws pointed out to them. They're filth and I'd rather not associate myself with them.
Often I'd do things and my reasoning for it would be "If I don't do it, who will?"
I'm highly objective and I would look at one's achievements before taking in their advice and even so, I do it with a grain of salt.
I have no trust in people, they're disappointing and bound to fail you eventually.
I would consider myself somewhat emotionally detached from people.
People naturally give in to me.
I've been told that I'm overly aggresive.
I honestly do not know if I'm self centred. The fact that I'm writing this seems to indicate so but at the same time, I would very much rather not post this. That being said, I would say I'm anything but forgettable.
That's about it for now, I would say I'm in a state of confusion as of right now and I'd like feedback and advice. I'm open to criticism because how else, will I change for the better? I would say that I've never had much of a mentor figure in my life, or even a father figure for a matter of fact (got cancer while I was a young age, you get the idea) and I would sincerely like one, to guide me along as such. Part of me feels absolutely pathetic writing this online on a forum but hey, what's to lose? Oh and am I a sociopath?
To relate this back to the book, have y'all read it and I would recommend it as it seems like a fairly good read. To those who haven't, maybe y'all can take the test, nothing to lose eh.
I apologize if this seems hard to read as I didn't exactly plan a structure for the post and it's mostly just me trying to translate the convoluted mess in my mind into words.