I’m sure a thread about this show has been made before but it’s 4:11 AM and I’m making another one.
Carl: “Okay, time out here. Look, ever since my son was…never conceived since I’ve never had consensual sex without there being money involved, I’ve always thought of you as something that I could sorta…live next to…in accordance with state laws.”
Shake: “Get back here! You cost me my one chance! I GOT FUCKING DIABETES AND CANCER BECAUSE OF YOU!!!” Episode immediately ends
Carl: Whoah, whoah, whoah, what was that noise?! …Uh, where is my white hatchback?
Shake: [playing dumb] ‘Scuse me?
Carl: And why are there skid marks there?
Shake: I just got through mowing the lawn…if that’s a crime.
Carl: I friggin’ RENTED THIS THING THIS MORNING!!
Shake: Yeah, we know how you did it. Congratulations. The bank gave you a credit card. It doesn’t make you better than me! But you see, I don’t have credit, because I’m a bad risk and I don’t pay my bills on time. So I have to work for what I have.
Carl: Did my car always have that, or am I just…
Shake: What? Class? Style? I don’t think so. Thank God I got a hip transplant. Now why don’t you go back into your house and shut up!
[Carl’s head explodes]
Meatwad: Why’d he do that?
Shake: Why wouldn’t he?
Master Shake: Carl, don’t refer to her as a “babe”, please. She is a Chechnyan prostitute, and you will address her as such.
Master Shake: Frylock! You’re not gonna believe this! A prowler broke in here and forced your cupcakes in my mouth, and he said if you don’t leave the room right now, and let him use the internet, he’ll shoot me!
Master Shake: He has a gun, you know.
Frylock: Well, he said he’d shoot you, so I did figured it was a gun.
Shake: What the hell is this? I told you fireman, astronaut, racecar driver, maybe bikini judge, and this is what I get? Food service? Are you kidding me? This is third world, and I’m from the first! I’m number one, baby.
Frylock: I’m amazed they even hired you.
Every line of dialogue from every episode is pretty much quotable.