Usually I have a great workout if he’s not there. Without that kid, the atmosphere is pleasing, the mirrors remain unscathed, the entirety of the gym rest in it’s natural state. On the contraire, when his prescence pollutes the gym, obliterates the mind, and causes focus and energy to evade my workouts.
The kid has ketchup-red hair that would piss on any untrained eye. He makes a white guy like me look much less so. His blotchy face would envoke anger upon the most devout pacifist. From head to toe, he is covered with with huge, welt-like freckles appearing as if an elephant’s asshole blasted him with light chocolate covered diahrreah. He is a collection of every unwanted gene and molecule assembled in the most terrifying way possible to create the hideous monster of a boy that I could not wish upon my worst enemy.
Yesterday I tried doing lateral raises with my eyes closed, but I heard someone walking beside me to pick up dumbells. I dropped my dumbells and opened my eyes only to find it wasn’t him. But my set was ruined. Then, I waltzed over to the cables to do some tricep pushdowns and made the mistake of looking into the mirror only to find that demon child WATCHING! I had never felt so raped in my life.
However, the worst was yet to come. With that little red-haired beast on the back of my mind, I attempted to blast out some front raises. Then, I felt a the air becoming diseased. “Oh shit!” I exclaimed as I jumped back as if I had seen a ghost. The tomato head was staring right at me and standing right beside me. He asked for a good biceps routine in an innocent voice. Little did he know I would not fall for that, and I ran out of the gym while I still had my own soul.
Could anyone offer me sound advice on how to block this…this feind from my mind? It’s driving me absolutely insane.