[quote]pat wrote:
[quote]E901 wrote:
This ones going to be a little bit differentÃ???Ã??Ã?¢?Ã???Ã??Ã?¦. I wanted to put this on T-Nation because itÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??s the site I’m most familiar with and I’m aware of what posters know their stuff. Anyways, I made a thread about depression a few years ago asking for advice about medication. Well, I have tried a lot of different medications and nothing has worked. IÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??ve tried Zoloft, Prozac, luvox, abilify, cymbalta, klonopin, xanax, clonidine, wellbutrinÃ???Ã??Ã?¢?Ã???Ã??Ã?¦
I have been going to therapy for about 2 years and mostly tried CBT. I have done group therapy as well. In addition, I have went to a hospital for a week where we were taught various methods of self help. I have read a few books related to the topic but they didn�??�?�¢??t seem to strike me in any way. Exercise doesn�??�?�¢??t help, eating clean doesn�??�?�¢??t help. Usually I have to force myself to go to the gym and just go through the motions, which makes me only angrier at myself. I always do cardio at the gym though which my therapists say is best. Tried supplementing with fish oil, vitamin D, and a multi. My depression was so bad that I dropped out of college, so I have been getting plenty of sleep now that I am home. I got a job which forces me to interact with people even if it�??�?�¢??s just say hello to a customer. I�??�?�¢??m sure there are other things I have tried, but basically nothing works.
Sure If I do everything right I may feel a little better briefly (if I have a good workout usually). But at the end of the day IÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??m still feeling hopeless, depressed, and like there is no reason for me to keep living. I donÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??t know what is keeping me going. IÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??m so tired and have no energy the whole day (partly due to the fact that IÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??m on 4 medications). I have no interest or motivation for anything and I really donÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??t know what to do. People try to show that they care and it just does not register with me. IÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??m emotionally vacant sometimes…where its nothing but depression. So basically what IÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??m wondering isÃ???Ã??Ã?¢?Ã???Ã??Ã?¦what do you do when nothing seems to work? Embrace it? Realize that it wonÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??t get better and just keep going?[/quote]
I have a difficult time believing that you’ve taken 5 different anti-depressants. What kind of time frame are we talking about here? It takes about 6 weeks to get them to work to full effect and you have to be off of them for 4 to 6 weeks before you can start another. That’s years of drug therapy in what seems like a fairly condensed time frame.
Wellbutrin is a terrible drug, stay away. For the few it works for it’s fine, but it causes a lot of people near panic attack levels of anxiety and a feeling of psychosis. Even after discontinuing treatment, the negative effects can last up to 2 years, though obviously not as severe. That may explain the need for the xanax and klonopin, for sure.
Drugs of course will only take you so far. You could be suffering from a situationally dependent form as well.
You actually haven’t given that much information for people to be much help. The only thing I have gathered from your post is that you ‘tried everything and nothing helps’.
And certainly there is the possibility you are engaged in some sort of negative behavior, habit or addiction that you don’t want to give up and you are using all of these methods to prop yourself up enough to maintain this negative behavior without being forced to quit.
If you have tried everything and nothing is helping, it’s perhaps time to expand the scope of what you are looking at. Problem with that is it may be personal to the point that you don’t want to discuss it in public. Whatever is going on with you, I sense a key piece of information missing about your lifestyle or situation where, while stuck in it nothing will help. For instance, if you are in an abusive relationship you can take all the drugs you want and all the therapy you want and you will not feel better because the stressor, which is rather intense, has not been addressed.
I got a feeling we’re not really talking about your feelings, you have an ‘elephant in the room’ and you don’t want to, or are afraid to address it. It may be a person who you love, but doesn’t love you, but since you are so afraid of letting go you try to numb the hurt with something else. Or you may be engaged in behavior that is very negative, but you like it and you don’t want to quit it.
I got a feeling that it’s the thing you don’t want to admit that’s the issue here and it’s probably pretty obvious. You could try the Jerry Springer litmus test. If you could see yourself on that show, that which puts you there is your problem.
I guess the question is, do you want to mask the problem or solve it? What are you willing to do to fix it, or what aren’t you willing to do?
I smell a rat, and elephant sized rat.[/quote]
True it is impossible to scope the full situation of whatever is going on without completely seeing everything in its totality of OPs Situation, if OP does not post the part say of extreme anger or guilt over a trauma then we can’t really come in with a solution, likewise we do not know how OP perceives and views the world which can be another huge issue of self fulfilling cycle, say for example an extreme sense of lack, low self worth, fear of future, etc… Sometimes though people are so far in the cycle of their depression that they can’t see what the elephant in the room is… When you are in your head and these things feel so real there is no separation between oneself and the perceptions which may mean that they think their view is a consensus of collective reality for society… An example again of that could be something like extreme fear of not succeeding or being good enough, A person might claim well everyone fears not being able to make it, survive, succeed etc… A perception that is illusive but can’t even be seen through so long as a person is not able to get out of their head and see the ways they deceive themselves.
Finally the most important thing is running from a persons own mind, we cannot absolve and see through any painful things if we avoid and distract ourselves from these parts of the psyche and do nothing to move into it and see it through… Whatever it is no matter what the scale it is able to be healed, its not even that something needs to be healed just that certain things need to be approached in the right way so the thoughts and beliefs about them can be dropped and let go. Then a person can move on with their lives and live without limitation again.