The bar should pretty much almost rub your body on the way down. It is ok to basically drop it just keep your hands on the bar. I agree that you are doing exactly what you did on the way up, but they way you are doing it is wrong. You should be pretty much dragging the bar up your legs. I don't scrap my shins on the way up like some people, but the bar is definitly against my thighs as soon as it passes my knees.
No, you want to try to keep the shoulders behind the bar. If you are trying to keep them above the bar then most likely they will be a little in front of the bar and this will cause the bar to come forward when you start to pull. You want the bar to be as close to your body as possible.