T Nation

Anger Management

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#1

Every once in a while, I wind up with a small amount of stockpiled anger, resulting from the cumulation of little ‘irritants’ that cannot be corrected quickly (when the ‘short fuse’ behavior type of anger management does not do the job or solve problems quickly or get needed action). Habitually, time takes care of the job.

Beings sort of an efficiency/control freak, I am looking for shortcuts to ‘get it out of my system’ and see things in the rightful proportions.

Violent/impulsive activity does it. ‘Trashing’, so to say, to metal (heavy/power/death) music does it. The more brutal, the better the release. Most of the time.

So, how do you defuse (quickly, ideally) accumulated anger?

Any alternatives? Meditation/paradigm reframing does not seem do the job that well. For a lack of a better metaphor, it almost feels like an electricity capacitator (battery) that needs to be emptied, but on the neural/nerve/body level, and, right now, I need a good lightning rod (ground). I know it sounds weird, but I lack better words for now.

#2

Makes perfect sense Dan. Anyways I imagine beating the holy living fuck out of people. Ahhhhh yes so very satisfying. I think physically it needs to be worked out as well. Heavy bags are great. So is jumping up and down like a little 6 year old while shouting “you fucking fag you fucking fag, you can’t try that weak ass shit up in this humpy bumpy! Mutherfucker!” It’s like a zen mantra. I encourage you to try it sometime. No doubt the anger will just easy away like magic. Tee hee hee. :wink:

#3

For some reason, looking outside from inside on a beautiful day does it for me. Right outside my lab is a pretty nice park, and here lately, the skies have been dotted with clouds with just enough blue behind them to make you happy. Of course, if you go outside, it’s hot and humid, so I’d rather just look :slight_smile:

Another thing that does it for me is thinking about what I’ll be doing that night or the next, in terms of good things. 2 days ago was your b-day, right? Well, if you were pissed that day, just look at what fun you could have at night, and anger seems to drift away. Yesterday, I got a little mad, and I just thought about how good of a time I’ll have with my grappling friends that night when we go out. Makes you look forward to something.

#4

you need to relax or you are gonna die early dude.

#5

I have two suggestions:

  1. channel it into your workout–some of my best workouts have been days I had a lot of work-related anger stored up–took it out on the weights and felt much better

  2. you mentioned paradigm-reframing–instead of trying to think your way out of being angry, just accept it

but rather than just be angry, mentally and emotionally step back from the situation and see yourself and your response as someone who doesn’t know the situation might see you–it’s called having an “observer self” in the psychology world

the ability to step into the observer self can save a person a lot of grief and embarrassment from acting out emotions that have taken control

just suggestions that work for me (most of the time)–sometimes, however, you just need to angry and act on it in as responsible a way as possible

–Bill

#6

Of course I was kidding. :wink:

I’m usually pretty calm. But the odd thing or two sends me through the roof. Like asswipes that don’t know how to drive. :wink:

#7

I try to think about it the terms of "Am I even going to give a shit about this next week? A month from now? A year? Fuck no, get over it. If that doesn’t work I go do some extracurricular heavy lifting. Or if I am too beat I just go play some Unreal Tournament and blow people apart with the flak cannon at close range and watch the bloodied body fragments get splattered all over the walls…

Normally I’m a really nice guy… Honestly, I am…

Weren’t you the one that used to have this saying next to your name “I don’t have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!” Love that saying.

#8

I have the same problem, but I play junior hockey. There’s never a shortage of people to fight. :wink:

#9

Good post forrester…the whole damn post. :wink:

#10

Working out always works for me!

#11

Good posts! Thanks. Maybe that Knightrider of Doom song from Rhapsody is having side-effects ;0)

The fading illusion the sirens’ grey tears
it’s here in the cold air the town’s tragic fear
The breath of infernos the rise of the dead
the portals of chaos the seventh black flame

(RIDE) Destino (KNIGHT) mi arrendo
…al tuo dominio del tempo!

IN THIS BLOODY DAWN
I WILL WASH MY SOUL
TO CALL THE SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE
TO DENY MY WISDOM FOR ANGER
TO BREAK THE SCREAM OF THE SILENT FOOL
AND TO BE THE SON OF DOOM…
OF DOOM!
IN THIS BLOOD DAWN
I WILL WASH MY SOUL
TO CALL THE SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE
TO DENY MY WISDOM FOR ANGER
TO BREAK THE SCREAM OF THE SILENT FOOL
TO BE A KNIGHTRIDER OF DOOM…
OF DOOM!

The rites of the unborn the dragonship’s fall
the waves of my ocean the twins’ holy call
The march of the heroes the call of the gods
after the rituals on the silent shore

(RIDE) Destino (KNIGHT) mi arrendo
…al tuo dominio del tempo!

IN THIS BLOODY DAWN
I WILL WASH MY SOUL
TO CALL THE SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE
TO DENY MY WISDOM FOR ANGER
TO BREAK THE SCREAM OF THE SILENT FOOL
AND TO BE THE SON OF DOOM…
OF DOOM!
IN THIS BLOODY DAWN
I WILL WASH MY SOUL
TO CALL THE SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE
TO DENY MY WISDOM FOR ANGER
TO BREAK THE SCREAM OF THE SILENT FOOL
TO BE A KNIGHTRIDER OF DOOM…
OF DOOM!

#12

FORRESTER: Yep, I had something of the likes. Exactly, it was: Destroying stupidity one thread at a time.

There`s enough out there to give one a lifetime of opportunities, and then some. ;0)

Thanks!