The PM’s always start one of two ways:
“Hello Cupcake, your posts always make me laugh, the way you think is hilarious and my co-workers have started to come into my office/cubicle to read your stuff when they hear me laughing because by now they know why. I have to ask what you do for a living and what you (and your mind) do all day?”
P.S Jane in Accounting says “Meeeeeeow”!
Signed, T-Bud
or they are of this type:
"Hello Doodie-Nuts:
Please stop wasting bandwidth with your puerile attempts at ripping off Dave Barry and Andy Rooney, Dave is smarter than you and Rooney is better looking so get the fuck off your computer and get back to work! I have to ask where someone as obviously head-injured as you has managed to find gainful employment, I have been searching the short buses when I see them around town but have not seen you to ask in person."
Fuckhead.
Signed, T-Sick of 'Cake
I suppose you need to take the good with the bad but I do take offence to the Rooney crack, I am Sooooo much better looking than that hack Rooney it’s not even funny!
I can out-bench him too.
Anyway, inspired by Char’s Japan thread I submit this similar thread for you enjoyment, although this one won’t teach you anything, answer any real questions, help you in any way or cure that rash you PM’d me about and asked me to keep “under my hat” but it’s basically the same.
More or less.
In an effort to keep it from looking like I am trying to pimp my company or it’s goods/services I will keep it appropriately vague, however as this is a true story, I have nothing to hide so if you were to care to ask a specific question, or if you happen to know what I did with my jockstrap after last years Halloween party, go ahead and PM me …
I work for North America’s 7th largest Convenience Retailer as a Merchandise Manager, mostly concerning food items that are prepared on site (Coffee, Pastry, “Slushies”, Hot Dogs, Branded Partners/SUBWAY etc… ). Development and implementation are my areas of expertise and responsibility but the very best part of my job is the store design and drawing sessions where we get to “play” every Monday and try to out-do last weeks efforts with something even better and cooler.
We lead our channel on both sides of the border and continue to achieve new levels of success by being innovative in approach, using creative thinking/playing in the design process and striving to make each and every store unique in layout and design so that it reflects the character of the location and customers who frequent it.
This approach has literally left our competitors choking on our dust, by the time they realized that we were not “building tributes to our egos” as a now unemployed supplier once said, it was too late to play catch up. We have certainly been copied but our forward momentum has enabled us to evolve and improve with each store so by the time they nail down today’s store, we have already moved on to tomorrows.
Of course, much of my time is spent creating and distributing exciting and dynamic Memo’s with titles like:
“Proper Sterilization Technique/Product for the Connolly 450S Rolla-Grill”
and
“Proper Coffee Brewing Temperatures and Method for Testing of Equipment”
My most recent favourite was:
“Code-Dating and the Law: Your Legal Responsibility”
Geez, is it any wonder I come here and act up?
Anyone else do anything that supplies some insight to the “Handle”?
“Sure it’s a big job; but I don’t know anyone who can do it better than I can”
~ John F. Kennedy
