T Nation

And Here's to Dante...

[quote] Dante said:

I get very frustrated with the sport of bodybuilding sometimes because its a very self absorbed, self obsessed mentality. Alot of people in this sport will talk about themselves for 45 minutes before asking you a question about yourself (and during that time your answering they are thinking about the next thing to say about themselves again).

I dislike many people in this sport because it makes insecure skinny people into (cocky-but really more insecure) idiots who really think a 20 inch arm means something to that guy they just passed by in the grocery store.

Trust me the guy forgot about you already by the time he got to the next aisle. He really doesnt give a shit-your a meathead to him.

Im not a saint and im not trying to portray one in this post. You have seen me be very impatient and an ass to people online before because theres alot of things in the bbing genre thats really selfish that bothers me a great deal.

Today I was in a restraurant eating with my wife–I noticed a women who was sitting alone eating behind me, looking out the window, with tears in her eyes talking to herself (not loud). Alot of people would look at that lady like she is a nutcase, but you really dont know what has happened to her that got her to that point.

Where would you be if your wife/girlfreind was driving with your family and all of them got crushed by an 18 wheeler and instantly killed? Would you be in a restraurant just devastated looking out the window talking to yourself a month later?

I dont know what happened to that lady, I dont want to know…but I do know it was bad enough that somewhere along the line she broke. I called the waitress over and said “i want to pay for her whole dinner but i just want you to tell her a customer took care of it–dont tell her its me”.

I try to do things like that once a week or whenever I can. Im that guy you see pulling over and changing a tire every once in a while, for someone whose stuck. Im that guy who will tell the 2 homeless guys outside of the restraurant to go in and order dinner and I’ll pay for it.

A waitress that is in one of the restraurants i frequent is such a nice person. One nite when my wife asked what she would like to do career wise…she started telling us proudly "I work 2 jobs and Im trying to be a…

(and then she stopped)(and started to cry) and then said “ive never been quite able to get into position where I can further myself ahead” and excused herself and said “im so sorry to cry in front of you–Im so sorry”…and she walked away in tears…THAT FREAKING CRUSHED ME. The day before xmas I left her 200 dollars in a christmas card for her tip.

What am I trying to relay here? The next time you look in the mirror and your bummed out because you dont feel your big enough, or your arms are weak, or you look fat or whatever…just remember theres a guy/girl with muscular dystrophy in a wheelchair out there who will never know what its like EVER to be loved romantically by someone.

They are just like you and me on the inside with a shell of a body they have no control over. What do you think is going thru their head when that beautiful woman walks by? Do you think they are thinking “oh maybe I have a shot?”

Ive been devastated before and at the lowest of the low many years ago, it was like an atom bomb went off in my life and I had to rebuild everything but the last few years Ive been blessed, finding my wife, and everything I touch turns to gold AND BELIEVE ME I APPRECIATE IT IMMENSELY.

I make the time to try my best to do “random acts of kindness”…it makes me feel good personally even when its anomynous like today.

So I ask of anyone reading this…just try it, make yourself do it, outside of the bodybuilding world, go that extra mile, take that extra step, load that ladies groceries in her car for her, help someone that TRULY needs some help, whatever it is, try to do the right thing at the right time–I promise you good luck will come your way from it eventually. Karma has a way of doing that.

[quote/]

Fantastic guy and I think more people should take this to heart.

It’s the holiday season guys and girls, but remember there are people out there who were dealt a hand of bad cards and might not be able to do all the things we take for granted…

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady. During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

“What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.“Absolutely,” said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant.

They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say “hello.” I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

    • Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.

Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him.

Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To hi s surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached… It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night.

The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away… God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others." Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve. In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked. “Fifty cents,” replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. “Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. “Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.

When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies… You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path. In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.

Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.

After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.

The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts…Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hspital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.

The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes I’ll do it if it will save her.”

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, see ing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away”.

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

more…

http://www.intensemuscle.com/7458-off-subject-but-i-feel-its-very-important-try-week-if-you-can.html

all from this thread.

wow very nice read, most people really need to read this an admire it. Esp the people who are rich pricks who dont care. They shoudl read this and really try and copy some of the stuff dante does

Ya really good read. It kind of puts into perspective what is REALLY important.

Perspective is a very valuable thing to have. That was a hell of a post.

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[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
Great post!

My last act of random kindness occurred about 3 months ago when I helped an old and confused looking lady find her car in the supermarket carpark. It was raining. She didn’t thank me, lol. Which doesn’t really matter to me anyway.

BBB[/quote]

You shouldn’t have stolen her car in the first place! :stuck_out_tongue:

Wow, that really was a great read.

I liked all the points that the posts brought up, but agree wholeheartedly with the Random Acts of Kindness principle. Do something because you want to help other people, not for some sort of self-fullfilment.

I’d like to have faith in humanity, but I think the average person is pretty introverted and only concerned with themselves. Articles like this would really make you stop and think…

Oh, you really got me with the one about the little boy and his sister. Jeepers, I’m still crying.

There are some wonderful people out there. My dad was injured and bed ridden in an accident when I was young, and our insurance refused to pay for his surgery. It took us 8 years to get his surgery and there are two things that really stand out in my memory.

The first was his doctor. My mother and I were both working to try to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. We could barely afford the bills let alone the medication needed to keep my dad from screaming in his sleep. His doctor treated him for 8 years at no charge… That man was a saint.

He treated me throughout my eating disorder too, and I remember standing at the counter trying to pay my bill when he walked out and said.
“Your money’s no good here, go home, get some sleep, eat a sandwich, get better.”

The other was the anonymous christmas card full of money. We never did find out who sent it and my mom never told me how much was in it but I know that she ordered propane the next day and filled the pantry so we had heat and food for the whole winter. so awesome.

Now that my parents are doing well, my mom sponsers a family anonymously every Christmas. One year, we played ding dong ditch and left a bunch of presents for the kids and a card with a money order on the people’s porch after dark and then hid in the bushes. It was hilarious, the guy opened the door yelling “goddamn kids!” It was pretty cool.

Great post, but it slightly bugs me when he says good luck will come your way from helping others…I mean, help someone because you truly want to, not because you’re hoping some universal power will reward you for it.

one thing I would like to do is help out a veteran . by that I dont mean writing a check to some charity . I mean actually going to his or her home and helping with some chore , or cooking a meal .

I’ve actually mentioned that idea to a solicitor on the phone ; but they didnt know any vets in my area…they only wanted a check .

[quote]Mutu wrote:
Great post, but it slightly bugs me when he says good luck will come your way from helping others…I mean, help someone because you truly want to, not because you’re hoping some universal power will reward you for it.[/quote]

Bullshit. The motive doesn’t matter one bit. The deeds do.

Do something nice and don’t worry about why you’re doing it. That’s the point.

[quote]zephead4747 wrote:
Dante said:

I get very frustrated with the sport of bodybuilding sometimes because its a very self absorbed, self obsessed mentality.

I make the time to try my best to do “random acts of kindness”…it makes me feel good personally even when its anomynous like today.

[/quote]

Hm.

[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
Great post!

My last act of random kindness occurred about 3 months ago when I helped an old and confused looking lady find her car in the supermarket carpark. It was raining. She didn’t thank me, lol. Which doesn’t really matter to me anyway.

BBB[/quote]

Too bad you ruined all that good karma by making fun of the fat kid.

Back to the drawing board.

Wow…thanks Aesop.

helping other people has a great affect on you emotionally… most people tend to feel very good.If people are aware that you do it (not by bragging) then they are much more likely to help you when you need it. My parents have always done stuff like that and we always got help when we needed it.

That thread is seriously the best one Dante ever posted. For all the bodybuilding info he’s put online… it means nothing compared to what sort of man he represents himself as day to day. You guys wouldn’t believe how generous he is to complete strangers, he’s THE model of how a business man should act in my opinion.

I owe a lot to him, he’s a really good guy.

That was a very good read Zephead. Thanks for sharing it.

oooooo Dante said something.

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