T Nation

Anaconda to Swallow Man Live on TV


#1

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/anaconda-swallow-man-discovery-special-746949

I don't think I need to write any more, pretty much speaks for itself.


#2

That snake’s gonna need some mighty powerful laxatives.


#3

He better have buns.


#4

The guy will be in a custom made snake proof suit as per discovery channel’s website :


#5

[quote]nebil12 wrote:
The guy will be in a custom made snake proof suit as per discovery channel’s website :[/quote]

I wanna know:

  1. How they’re gonna get the snack to eat him
  2. How the hell those long ass teeth aren’t gonna puncture any suit he wears.

#6

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

[quote]nebil12 wrote:
The guy will be in a custom made snake proof suit as per discovery channel’s website :[/quote]

I wanna know:

  1. How they’re gonna get the snack to eat him
  2. How the hell those long ass teeth aren’t gonna puncture any suit he wears. [/quote]

I wanna know how they are going to fake this because I don’t believe for a second they are going to be able to make the snake think that suit is something to eat.


#7

Isn’t anyone else wonder how he’s going to get out? Are they going to kill the snake? Surely they’d rupture the snake’s internal organs trying to get the guy out.


#8

[quote]SexMachine wrote:
Isn’t anyone else wonder how he’s going to get out? Are they going to kill the snake? Surely they’d rupture the snake’s internal organs trying to get the guy out.[/quote]


#9

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]SexMachine wrote:
Isn’t anyone else wonder how he’s going to get out? Are they going to kill the snake? Surely they’d rupture the snake’s internal organs trying to get the guy out.[/quote]
[/quote]

I’m guessing you’re joking. I don’t think a fully grown man in chainmail with breathing apparatus is going to pass through a snake’s arsehole. He’d have to pass through its entire digestive tract first. And it takes many days for a snake to pass the food it’s eaten.


#10

I, apparently, am not as learned as you in regards to the intestinal motility of Eunectus murinus.

But, yeah…I thought he was going to get pooped out.


#11

I highly doubt it. In fact, I’m sceptical about the whole story because I can’t see the snake surviving which would have the animal rights groups up in arms. The only thing I can think of is they might extricate him surgically; like a C section but into the stomach instead of the womb.


#12

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
I, apparently, am not as learned as you in regards to the intestinal motility of Eunectus murinus.

But, yeah…I thought he was going to get pooped out.[/quote]

An anaconda works by swallowing the animal whole and then taking a couple of weeks for the animal to get digested, and then presumably poop normal sized poop…

This is going to kill the anaconda. Not that I have a real problem with possible animal cruelty, but this just sounds really fucking weird.


#13

Maybe it’s a known man-eating snake that was already scheduled to be exterminated? They just decided to make a spectacle of it.


#14

They’ll force the snake to regurgitate him is my guess.


#15

I think we are missing out on what this show could mean. First off, can they get Ice Cube to host, the script just writes itself.

Yes, Mr Cube, I believe there are…

Second, what about a whole series? Man Gets Swallowed by Hippopotamus, Man Gets Swallowed by Elephant, and Man Gets Swallowed by Whale. Heck, they could do a whole series using different whales. Put them back to back with Shark Week.


#16

They have a strap affixed to his ankle, so I’m guessing they’re going to let him get swallowed part way and then pull him out somehow. Hopefully they have a consolation meal for the snake for afterwards.


#17

As the man gets swallowed, the snake’s organs that aren’t needed to aid in digestion, shut down, so that all energy goes towards digesting the food.

If or when the snake feels threatened, (this is the snake is at it’s most vulnerable) it will regurgitate it’s meal, so that it can escape.

In other words, they’ll probably make the snake puke the asshole back up.


#18

What the fuck happend to the Discovery channel, when I was a kid they had alot of cool history and archeology shows on. The last decade it seems its only shows about Hitler, Ice road truckers, swamp people and now this fucked up stunt.


#19

[quote]florelius wrote:
What the fuck happend to the Discovery channel, when I was a kid they had alot of cool history and archeology shows on. The last decade it seems its only shows about Hitler, Ice road truckers, swamp people and now this fucked up stunt. [/quote]

Ratings and advertising bro. Reality TV is big money, mainly due to low production cost. And everyone loves Hitler; he reminds us of that war we won.


#20

[quote]florelius wrote:
What the fuck happend to the Discovery channel, when I was a kid they had alot of cool history and archeology shows on. The last decade it seems its only shows about Hitler, Ice road truckers, swamp people and now this fucked up stunt. [/quote]

With you on this man…I used to love the Discovery channel. These days I usually can’t even bear to watch a whole show unless it’s shark week.