I will be happy if this thread falls off the first page. Also it probably seems stupid to make a thread to apologize, but I owe quite a few an apology. About to give TMI and will regret this thread when I am done.
Some may have noticed that I am completely psycho at times lately and off the rails vicious in some of the threads. I very much hate to admit this but I have developed a drinking problem and I get pretty much belligerent when I do.
I was in a pretty bad car accident last year that burned my face and neck and caused damage to my right breast. I was afraid I was going to lose my breast for a while due to the trauma from the seat belt. Luckily the burns have healed and you can't see the scars very well. The breast has healed although I have a groove in it but I am happy to have it. I got into trouble with enjoying the vicodin way too much.
At the same time my dad now has onset dementia and has blood clots in his legs and this thing going on with inflammation in his pelvis that pinches the sciatic nerve and causes him to collapse and blackout. My mother just beat cancer about 2 years ago for the second time and then a month after my accident she had a stroke. She is recovering but has "word salad" sometimes and mood swings she can't control. She also has COPD and emphysema and is on oxygen. My parents are in their late 70's and I help them.
Sooo got that at home and the vicodin just mellowed things out so it was easier but I knew that was a bad habit so I got off that but I traded that for drinking. Legal and cheaper and so easy to get. So that is what I am working through and not doing the best job of it.
I sometimes get mean when I do drink and I have lashed out on here. The good thing about lashing out here is that I then have to see what I did the next day and having to face it puts the problem where I can't ignore it.
Sorry for those that I attacked. I am just a mess right now but I am working on it.
Also I realize I might seem arrogant that this is even thread worthy, it isn't to anyone else but me and my wanting to explain why I have wreaked havoc in a lot of threads lately.