T Nation

America: Where Any Dork Can Succeed!

Well…it seems like for the past 3-4 years we are inundated with two things this time of year: 1)“BALLY’S” commercials (by the way…I haven’t seen one lately…UUmmmm…)… and last but not least…the Subway man himself…the man we love to hate…Jared…


Well, let me tell you, folks…he seems to be doing better than me, I tell 'ya…!


From all indications, he continues to make Big Bucks from Subway (probably more bucks than me)…his house is HUGE (mine can probably fit in his)…he has a hottie of a new wife…(Dayum!!!)…and he keeps pushing the idea of the Subway sandwich as being the answer to all our Obesity woes ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK, BABY!


My hat goes off to the guy…ONLY in America…!!!


Mufasa

A discussion between me and Mr. Roman a few minutes before I saw this post:

DH: ohmygod everytime i see that assgoblin jared i wanna smash my tv on the floor

JR: DUDE

JR: I want to fucking fight him

DH: i can’t take it anymore

JR: if I had three wishes, wish number ONE would be a televised fight

JR: him and Eminem vs. me

LOL, D!


I have to tell you, guys…this isn’t probably all just Subway…I’m beginning to think that Jared is most likely a pretty smart guy. How many people are able to survive as a product spokesperson this long?


Granted…Subway saw a dramatic increase in sales with the Jared campaign…but how much of this is the smarts of Jared himself?


I have NO clue…but it sure would be good to know!


Mufasa

Oh c’mon guys! Didn’t you see his GREAT b-ball shooting form?? and running in that joggin suit, gotta love the flabby skin manboobs juggling around :wink:

I’ll hand to him for his house and wifey though… . nice

Hats off to a guy that misleads people? Fuck him.

Okay, it’s Subway’s ad people, not Jared directly, but still. It sickens me. I’d rather tip my hat to a crack dealer.

Well…! It’s looks like the Forum is STILL a little testy about our 'ole friend Mr. Fogle!(LOL!!!)


It’s just an interesting phenomenon to me, guys, that’s all…hey…what is it now…almost 3 years!!!


Again…DAYUUUmmmm!

Gotta love another great product from Bloomington, Indiana! He’s probably the only long term success story they have for the Shlubway diet. Last year they ran some commercials that showed people who had been delivered from flabbiness by Jared the Great. I wonder if any of them have succeeded on the diet for as long as Fogle has, or even if he’s still on the “diet”. I’d like to see his diet and exerciese logs.

Yeah, there are others. I think it’s a regional thing. We’ve had a couple of people here in SC do “well” on it, if that’s what you call it. There was this 300+ lb. guy in Columbia that lost over 100 lbs. and finally got his “dream job” as a firefighter. Before that, they wouldn’t let him do it cause he was too fat. Now he has his own commercial and song. The USC newspaper follows him every now and then as he is a student.


But just like Jared, he looks terrible. Kind of like Fat Bastard at the end of Goldmember. Weak and loose. Like a breeze could blow him over even though he’s around 180. That, and his neck looks like a vagina.

Jared is the bomb. Spanky you said he looks terrible but I COME ON, the dude lost 260 pounds. Do you want him to look like Arnold? He also inspires other people too, and has a nice fadeaway jumper. Regarding Bally’s, they have some dorky slogan called, “experience the beautiful pain.” How many freaking brainstorming sessions did marketing do to come up with that one. At least they aren’t promising you’ll look like a half naked Kylie.

Mmmm…Kylie

I give that guy no credit whatsoever for his longevity. You think he has some kind of “smarts” that kept him where he is? If you do, then explain to me how the Taco Bell dog talked them into such a long contract! That’s one smart dog.


I think maybe part of his sucess is that he is such a huge dork. “Hey, look what that dork did. If he can do it, then I can too!”


Ok, maybe he did lose 260lbs. Yeah, there is something to be said for that. But someone that large should’ve had some decent muscle mass too carry all that weight around.


“…and rock climbing. Well, maybe next year.” Jared, do us T-maggers a favor, go rock climbing and drop your weak ass off the highest point.

Okay, time to change the handle. I’ve been meaning to do this for quite some time, but I have been unsure of what to change it to. My first thought was Jared (Not Fat Subway Dyke), but I don’t think including orientation slurs in my handle would be wise. I’ve also considered Jared (Not Subway AIDS Victim), in light of South Park’s take on Jared, but I don’t want to make light of a serious problem such as AIDS. I think I’ll just go with Jared NFS, with the NFS standing for “Not From Subway”. I’m also open to suggestions.

SpankyLovesalot, where do you live? I'm in Columbia, home of the other Subway guy, Clay Henry. He looked a lot better than Jared, though.

So here’s my get rich quick scheme(Actually it will take a while) But I plan on living solely off of Pizza Hut pizzas. Then when I balloon up to 400 pounds I will bring a law suit against them until they settle out of court with me for millions.


Then on to phase 2 of my plan… I’m going to eat three whoppers a day while doing some heavy renegade training. Then when I lost 200 lbs I’m going to sign a advertising contract with Burger King.


Think it will work?

I live in Charleston, though I travel to Columbia often to visit friends and family. There are slowly beginning to be more SC T-men. Time to start the SC T-Cell.


You’re right, Clay Henry does look better than Jared. But I think it’s mostly cause he started out not as fat, and doesn’t have that “I seriously need to have my ass kicked” look about him.

Did anyone see Jared whoring that subway crap to the guys on CBS yesterday after the Steelers-Browns game. Nice cold reception from all the football guys.

Okay…you guys may not believe this…but here goes!!!


I FINALLY say the Bally’s " Experience the Beautiful Pain" commercial…cool…


BUT GUESS WHAT CAME ON RIGHT AFTER IT? You guessed it…Jared eating dinner, clearing leaves and sawing wood at his new house! (LOL!!!)


(The guy is like that “Energizer Bunny”, I tell 'ya…!!!)


Mufasa

And just think…that Jared smoothie is an inspiration to many Americans! SAD!

They show the puke walking around the house doing normal daily activities like it is supposed to be a difficult thing to do.

Man I’m getting worked up just thinking about htis fool. But you’re absolutely right, he’s laughing all the way $$$.

I haven’t seen these Subway ads (and I’m not from another planet, just the UK). can a get a sneak preview on the internet somewhere? I need a target for my aggression and to see what you lucky people are getting so pissed off about.

Thanks for the excuse to dig up dirt on Jared Fogle, our favorite Subway Chub. Here are some websites with fun info (and misinfo): http://nonemore.keenspace.com/jared.html www.thewazmo.com/subwayweightloser10062000.html www.mccallie.org/tornadoX/columns/Issue4/greg&jared11-15.htm www.tvacres.com/admascots_jared_subway.htm

Ok, the Subway diet thing is an idiotic idea. BUT I think the commercials of how Michelob Ultra is good for you is a lot worse.

Who do you think would win in a fight? Jared, or Screech from Saved by the Bell.