T Nation

Am I Wrong for Murdering a Chicken?


#1

There is this rooster that is so
fucking annoying that I'm thinking about murdering it. My neighborhood is very big and he could go anywhere,but he decides to stand next to my window and start screaming like the idiot that he is. He woke me up about an hour ago and I can't go back to sleep and I have to go to work in 2 hours and I am tired as hell. I am thinking about getting my gun and shooting it to death but that would be to cruel, so instead,I'm going to release my dog Charles after him, so his death could be painless and very awesome. That would also teach the other roosters not to fuck with me.

If the neighbors complain about their beloved rooster,I'll just invite them to a dinner that will feature the rooster, but I'll tell everyone, "Its a chicken".I wouldn't think about doing this if he(the rooster) was to just leave me alone. There is no reason to stand next to my window(literally an inch from my face) and start screaming like a bitch other than to fuck with me. The Landlord will probably get pissed but o well. I man needs to sleep.


#2

I had a rooster that jumped the neighbours wall back in SA and made a home in our garden - in a tree nonetheless. Nando even invited over chickens, taught them to climb the tree and had didn’t really bother anyone. He was a great bird, till someone took him out - for dinner is my guess.

If you kill him, eat him.


#3

Letting your dog attack him will be a “painless” death? I agree with the “awesome” part, but I’m pretty sure getting mauled by a canine involves some level of pain.

When I was growing up, my family used to always spend Christmas at my Aunt and Uncles house in Missouri. I was forced to sleep in the basement, shared by 4 roosters, who were for some reason kept in the only room in the basement that had a window to it. Low and behold, I was jerked awake at 5am every fucking morning.

Oh, and for those not accustomed to roosters, it’s not like a ‘hey, there’s the sun, I’ll cockle-doodle-do a couple times’. It’s more like a “HEY, THERE’S THE SUN, I’LL COCKLE-DOODLE-DO FOR 2 STRAIGHT HOURS!!” Fuckers.


#4

[quote]Bauer97 wrote:
Letting your dog attack him will be a “painless” death? I agree with the “awesome” part, but I’m pretty sure getting mauled by a canine involves some level of pain.

When I was growing up, my family used to always spend Christmas at my Aunt and Uncles house in Missouri. I was forced to sleep in the basement, shared by 4 roosters, who were for some reason kept in the only room in the basement that had a window to it. Low and behold, I was jerked awake at 5am every fucking morning.

Oh, and for those not accustomed to roosters, it’s not like a ‘hey, there’s the sun, I’ll cockle-doodle-do a couple times’. It’s more like a “HEY, THERE’S THE SUN, I’LL COCKLE-DOODLE-DO FOR 2 STRAIGHT HOURS!!” Fuckers.[/quote]

So damn true, those little tasty birds are LOUD!

When I rowed we would race down in GA and the start line would be right next to a chicken ranch. Well regattas start at the ass crack of dawn so we would be out there aout sun rise or before.

Imagine being lined up at a race…all boats aligned and everyone is watching the ref…the flag is raised…we are waiting for it to drop and start rowing as hard as we can to get the boat moving and COCKLE-FREAKEN-DOOOO!!!

Damn birds…

Needless to say there was a false start on that race.


#5

[quote]nomorewar wrote:

I am thinking about getting my gun and shooting it to death but that would be to cruel, so instead,I’m going to release my dog Charles after him, so his death could be painless and very awesome. That would also teach the other roosters not to fuck with me.[/quote]

Post video if you decide to do this.


#6

My family used to own about 30 chickens, 2 roosters…one of the roosters attacked my younger brother, so me and my older brother ran and got our bb guns and put about 40 bbs in that thing before he finally died. It was fun, I must admit. Then one of the hens started crowing…now that was annoying.


#7

How about you just cut its fucking head off, and save the hassle for you and the pain for it? I don’t really see why there would be any alternative.

…and if you do, you’d better eat it.


#8

Roosters don’t make good eating. The meat’s kinda tough. Maybe a stew would tenderize it.


#9

Before turning your dog loose on the rooster, you may want to check out his spurs. They can put some nasty gashes on a dog before going down.

DB


#10

I am just trying to figure out what your regular T-Nation name is because all of your posts smack of nonsense.


#11

[quote]dollarbill44 wrote:
Before turning your dog loose on the rooster, you may want to check out his spurs. They can put some nasty gashes on a dog before going down.

DB[/quote]

speaking of the spurs, you think they’ll win it all this year?


#12

Some of you people are sadistic. And looney goon bart simpson guy, have you ever heard of ear plugs? If you kill the rooster I hope it’s owner beats the shit out of you.


#13

If he is so close to your window, you can just keep it open tonight and when he approaches in the morning, grab him and twist his head right off. It’s the easiest way to kill a chicken. Just hold him under your arm with one hand and steady him, take his noisy little head in your other hand, twist down and away from you in one swift motion, and then hold onto the body so that it doesn’t jerk away from you and start running all over your bedroom with blood spurting from it’s neck like a lawn sprinkler.

And yes, the irony of having the owners over for dinner would be, hmmm…delicious.


#14

[quote]Cortes wrote:
If he is so close to your window, you can just keep it open tonight and when he approaches in the morning, grab him and twist his head right off. It’s the easiest way to kill a chicken. Just hold him under your arm with one hand and steady him, take his noisy little head in your other hand, twist down and away from you in one swift motion, and then hold onto the body so that it doesn’t jerk away from you and start running all over your bedroom with blood spurting from it’s neck like a lawn sprinkler.

And yes, the irony of having the owners over for dinner would be, hmmm…delicious.[/quote]

Wow, did your parents hit you when you were hunger?

See Bujutsuka’s post for more details.


#15

Call Roy Jones Jr. and see if he will take it.


#16

[quote]Kuz wrote:
I am just trying to figure out what your regular T-Nation name is because all of your posts smack of nonsense.[/quote]

Hilarious nonetheless.


#17

Chickens are stupid as fuck, I’d feel worse for killing a tomato; but killing another person’s pet/livestock is asking for trouble.


#18

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
Chickens are stupid as fuck, I’d feel worse for killing a tomato; but killing another person’s pet/livestock is asking for trouble. [/quote]

So you judge the value of life by intelligence only?


#19

[quote]Bujutsuka wrote:
Uncle Gabby wrote:
Chickens are stupid as fuck, I’d feel worse for killing a tomato; but killing another person’s pet/livestock is asking for trouble.

So you judge the value of life by intelligence only?[/quote]

If the chicken was mine, I’d base it’s value on how much labor I put into providing it with a safe habitat, and how much money I spent feeding it. However, animals with intelligence and personality are harder to kill. Therefore, even if I had put the same amount of money into raising a dog as I did the chicken, it would be a lot harder for me to kill and eat the dog.


#20

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
Bujutsuka wrote:
Uncle Gabby wrote:
Chickens are stupid as fuck, I’d feel worse for killing a tomato; but killing another person’s pet/livestock is asking for trouble.

So you judge the value of life by intelligence only?

If the chicken was mine, I’d base it’s value on how much labor I put into providing it with a safe habitat, and how much money I spent feeding it. However, animals with intelligence and personality are harder to kill. Therefore, even if I had put the same amount of money into raising a dog as I did the chicken, it would be a lot harder for me to kill and eat the dog. [/quote]

“Personality goes a long way”

[i][VINCENT] Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?

[JULES] I wouldn’t go so far as to call a dog filthy, but it’s definitely dirty. But, dogs got personality, personality goes a long way.

[VINCENT] So by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?

[JULES] We’ have to be talkin’ ‘bout one charmin’ motherfuckin’ pig. I mean he’d have to be ten times more charmin’ than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I’m sayin’?[/i]