T Nation

Am I Evil ?


Yes I am. Well ok, I must be. Rant ahead. You've been warned

When I see someone I know use (or heard about) e or acid or special K or some other crap...I really, really hope they get raped or arrested or something.

I don't know, I mean it just sets off this anger. Weed once in a while (despite that I don't do it) doesn't bother me much. However, pretty much anything else just sets me off. I can't explain why other than I hate seeing these people, friends and family and other persons I know, strung out. I've lost friends over this sorta thing. It's like they're not even themselves and, depending on what they're on, they act like bloody morons more-so than normal.

I don't know why, maybe it was being raised by a single mother, but I was raised to respect women. And yet, it's hard to find respect when I see a large amount these days popping e and snorting special k in particular. What's the appeal ? I see these guys in raves and clubs who're out for nothing more than to take advantage of girls who're rolling.

I just don't bloody understand why a person could do that to themselves. It boggles my mind.


you were raised to respect women yet find yourself hoping that some of them get raped?

i'm having some trouble here. what is this post about?


Evil isn't the best word in this case. Deluded is better. Find something better to worry about. Like yourself.


I knew a guy who took his life on K. He had a bunch of mental issues to begin with, and was a new father, but I guess it all got the best of him. Sad, really.

As for being angry...that feeling is dictated by past experiences. If you've seen a lot of people go downhill on drugs, then it will leave bad memories that stay and fester. It's hard to watch friends get in bad shape from drug use. And I include alcohol in this because that alone has ruined so many relationships and marriages, it's not even funny. Add alcohol to another addiction like one of the above mentioned, and you have a recipe for sure disaster.

I'm not against what people choose to do, it's just that many don't know what they're getting into until it's too late.


On sort of a different note, I think many turn to alcohol or drugs to free themselves from the rules and restrictions, or their own inhibitions. Basically, while growing up who we are and what we are allowed to do is generally quite repressed.

I'm not offering any sort of approval, but I do have an idea where it comes from.

Of course, there are all kinds, so I'm sure there are other worse reasons to be getting into these things.


Ok, raped is overboard...I just hope they get arrested or have a scary experience that shakes them up.


This is basically a rant. I have watched a number of people I knew basically go downhill on drugs. It just pisses me off that these people do this crap to themselves.


so essentially you want them off drugs, right? well. that makes you NOT evil. but good. reminds me of young frankenstein:

..and do you want to talk about physical strength? do you want to talk...about the olympian ideal! YOU-ARE-A-GOD! and listen to me....you are not EVIIIIIIIL...YOU-ARE-GOOD!


Yeah.. I have a suspicion a certain someone I used to know quite well is using drugs now...hopefully I'm wrong. Their behavior has changed dramatically in a very short period of time.


Most people who have done acid often enough will eventually have an experience "scary" enough to fuck up their minds forever.

And yes, I am one of those people.


wtf is going on here? no, really..i'm so high on e i dont know wtf is going on.

if this stuff bothers you so much, i think you should just kill yourself. it's not your life, unlees some e'd out mofo starts rubbing on you, so worry about yourself.



I've said that before in another thread about drugs. If you wnat to lose your mind for good, do acid. It's gauranteed to give your cortex a fucking that will haunt you for life. I've done it twice, two times too many. And the majority of people that I know that did a stint with LSD have marked personality changes that haven't subsided.


i've done all of the above on several occasions, and i never had a "bad trip". if your mind is weak you'll slip into a bad trip, you have to have control at all times. no matter how any skulls are floating around in your marble floor bitting at you feet, and stay away from mirrors.


like i said, i've probably done somewhere in the ballpark of 20-30 hits of acid in all, and i never had a bad trip, and believe me i've tripped balls. e on the other hand i've only done 5 x's and k twice(i didnt care for the k, and the enviroment for the e has to be just right).

i also did payote a few months back in the borego springs desrt with some of my hippie friend, san pedro cactus is soo readily available it's crazy. now that i know what it looks like i have seen it in half a dozen people's yard. i bet they don;t have a clue that they could just boil some and drink the water and vrooom off you go.(not vroom from canada)


Hey why spend the $$$ on a movie...dinner...and gifts when you can just buy her some E..???? LOL


Sometimes you just have to let people find out for themselves.

I've lost a lot of friends and family to substance abuse, myself included.
There is no amount of anger or disgust that will change their minds.

Just stay focused and live a good life.


I think it's perfectly fine to be pissed off seeing others ruin thier health for a stupid "high". I've always had a sort of disdain for those that would dull thier senses/sense of reality in a world that can be so breathtaking all by itself.

I feel that those that are frequently "under the influence" are lacking something inside.

We are given health, reason and curiosity and a wonderful world in which to explore. So to see people fail to make the most of it by making themselves numb is frustrating.


Just remember that every hot chick on e is someones little girl.


I like feeling that I'm in control at all times. LSD made me feel like I had no control of what was goin on. That will make a person panic. Those that don't mind letting go seem to be less bothered by it.


I'd say that alcohol causes such massive problems in society that the damage caused by E's and Acid almost pales into insignificance (although obviousley they can truly devastating on a personal scale). And if you want to channel your worries into something useful then why dont you get involved in a drug awareness or rehabilitation programme rather than wish a terrible trauma on someone?

Seems like odd logic to me. Take a chill pill mate : )