Am I being too possessive?

One more thing. If someone doesn’t treat you the way you want to be treated and can’t put the effort in to seeing that you are happy and doesn’t show that he cares about your feelings then he sucks and dump him. There are many hot men out there, you just have to find the right one, we will all find the right one someday! Some of us might be 40 when it happens but hey it happens!

I hope bionic’s last post wasn’t aimed at me. I didn’t spout off jack shit. Just wanted to give her a guys view point.

PS My relationship is fine. I have a loving gf whom I am greatful to have and whom I go home to each night.

rookie, i think her little tantrum was aimed at me. and to your tantrum, ali, i say- whatever. school is THE MOST important thing in my life right now. how i live out the rest of my existance on this planet rests largely in how i do now. if you dont like it, take your own advice…

There are plenty of reasons to get married, and plenty of reasons not to after being together for a while. My feeling is that if you want the benefits of a government sactioned marriage (which, like it or not is based on a Judeo-Christian ethic in this country) then you have to have a government sactioned marriage. That may not be a factor in this case, but that was the basis for my post earlier.

understood that school is important. stay in school, stay there for as lonnnggg as youuuuu cannnnnn, in the great words of billy madison. there are just certain ways that friends, no matter if male or female should be treated. if you can’t respect their feelings in how you talk to them then they shouldn’t go out of their way for you like they have been doing for the past 5 years. people aren’t asking you to drop out of school. you are being asked to respect other people’s feelings in how you talk to them. if you can’t, then you are not going to continue to be their friend.

bionic and Da Man - huh???

actually michelle i apologize to correct you… it is just bionic.

ugh… yup, i know her in the real world… she moody…

If you aren’t interested in reading about relationships DON’T READ ABOUT them, but to tell people to stop asking for advice on this forum is not right. Obviously some people need to hear from a variety of sources when troubled about something and I think it’s great that they can get such a broad spectrum of advice. In your own immediate circle of friends you would not get such a variety of ages, interests, backgrounds, experiences–and all that together can give some enlightened perspective on a situation. And, by the way, I’ve heard a lot more on this forum from t-men and relationship problems than from women! And I think that’s great. Guys aren’t as quick to discuss and analyze their problems with each other as women are, and if a guy feels comfortable “sharing” through this forum, that’s great. One less screwed up man wandering the streets!

So, if all you want to read about is training, nutrition, wrestlers and sports, don’t read the other stuff, but leave those who derive some peace of mind from these posts alone.

And Emma, I hope you solve your troubles. You sound like a great person. Just, maybe ease up on your guy a bit unless he really has cheated on you. Perhaps when he goes out with his boys, you should go out with your girls--then you can be having fun too instead of staying home and feeling miserable and alone. He might relax a little and be more open with you about what the guys do when they go out. Don't begrudge him his night out without you or you will lose him. Do you really want him to resent time spent with you? I don't think so. Another alternative would be to create some new and exciting romantic opportunities for the two of you. Be creative and try something different that he wouldn't be able to resist. Good luck!

You aren’t married. So…? “Steady boy/girlfriends are for junior high kids.”

Oh ok sorry, yeh i sould be more polite. but it seems really gay to me that people are asking other people for advice on very personal matters and have never even met them, or ever will. and then they take that advise into consideration when they have to make a disission, its all based on nothing that is real. but if people a happy do do it, your right i should be mature about it.

if someone who was supposedly your best friend didn’t call you on purpose on your birthday wouldn’t you be moody too?

you didnt reply to the email, as far as i know, you could be dead. if you are not conversing w/ me, why would i make the attempt to converse? pointless IMO. happy friggin birthday, now get over it.

If my bet friend didn’t call me on my birthday, I would be concerned about HER. Normally she is very considerate, so if she missed my b-day I would assume that something important is going on and call her the next day to find out. Sure, I would feel bad, but she is my best friend and people screw up sometimes. I’ve forgotten important things too. My suggestion? If he is your best friend let it go.

Quite alright. Actually, sometimes people can get better advice from those they don’t know. Anonymity and objectivity are key. It’s hard to give truthful to advice to someone you are really close to, for example. Too many other factors come into play–will I hurt their feelings? will they think I don’t love them? etc. etc. Not knowing who these people are or what their backgrounds, ages, etc. are makes it so much easier to be objective and frank. Then, the seeker of this advice can just take what they feel is applicable to their situation. It’s also a lot easier to be open about what the real problem is if you write it anonymously. The writer can be more honest and open. Anyways, I think it is a great venue that provides for much thought and perspective.

my best friend is in a lot of hot water with me at the moment over many things but this was the icing on the cake so to speak. my best friend is considerate to me when it is convenient for me to be his friend, that is, if he feels like it. and he’s done plenty of things to help me, sure. but he’s also broken my heart way too many times and i am done letting that happen. my best friend doesn’t really care about my feelings because supposedly i am too sensitive which gives him every right to be an absolute prick to me and say cruel, mean and hurtful things to me on purpose whenever he wants to and not care if i spend nights crying myself to sleep over the fact that he could care less about my reactions to what he says and does. so basically it’s my fault that he acts like an inconsiderate ass sometimes. my best friend won’t even buy a phone card to talk to me because… well, i’m still waiting to hear a good excuse for that one. my best friend supposedly loves me but tells me that he doesn’t want to be with me because it is a waste of his time to drive to see me. he also won’t let me come and visit him ever while he is away. my best friend would have been my boyfriend but he pushes me away every time i get close to him, even though i would kill and die for him. granted i am not perfect by any means but it isn’t ok for me to make mistakes in his eyes, because god knows he’s perfect and never does anything wrong. and why am i talking about him and not to him about this? one, he won’t listen and doesn’t care. 2, he won’t listen and doesn’t care. three, maybe he has to get a little pissed off himself and a little hurt himself before he realizes how shitty i feel every time he treats me the way he does. so no, in response to him, michelle, i will NOT just get over it. all of my real friends decided to show who they were on saturday march 2, which was my birthday, and let’s just say at this point in time he didn’t quite make the list that day. friends are friends no matter what, come hell or high water, and if it were me, i would have called him wheter i was mad at him or not on his birthday and he knows it. so all i can say is, you’re right michelle, i’d let it go, but if you get burned a couple of times you’re gonna have to take the matches away sooner or later. and that’s about it. true friends show their faces with humility and can accept responsibility for their actions, and also know when to say they are wrong and sorry ESPECIALLY IF THEY HURT OTHER PEOPLE, and there has never been a time that i havent’ done that. peace, and you have heard all that i am going to say on this anymore. ihave much more important things to worry about than wasting my time with a broken heart over someone who just doesn’t care.

If all that is true, you’re ‘best friend’ is really not one at all. I am very sorry for you. Best friends live and die for each other, because unlike family, friends are chosen. I have not seen one of my best friends in two years, but I know if I called him and told him I needed him RIGHT NOW he’d find a way across the ocean to help me. That is a true friend, I hope you are lucky enough to find one soon. Happy belated birthday, I hope it was a good one besides the obvious emotional pain.

Glad to see that this post has provoked so much feedback - thanks especially to GM for your comments. I am not sure however, what the hell birthdays and best friends and school has to do with this post - I think we got a wee bit side-tracked!! And just to let you know…I wrote the letter, he read it, we had a chat about it and it’s all sorted. He had no idea that I was feeling like I was. Communication is the key! Thanks to all for your input and it does help to hear a variety of opinions and ideas even if they are from complete strangers.

You’re very welcome, Emma! Glad to hear things have worked out. And you’re right–communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and yet itis often the hardest thing to do between people–talk openly that is. Glad to hear you two crossed that barrier.

And yeah, what’s up with hi-jacking someone’s post with personal rantings about best friends not coming through on birthdays? What the hell did that have to do with Emma’s situation? Could we fashion our own post when switching topics, please!!!

I apologize for the hijacking of the topic. some ppl would rather post their personal dealings on a forum than converse directly w/ the accused party. Emma, i am glad you got things worked out. I hope that things continue to go well for you 2. and again, sorry for yoinkin the topic out from under ya.