Long time member here, different name for this reason.
So, 11 months ago is when me and my girlfriend started dating. About a month or so into the relationship she told me that she goes to AA meetings. This made me feel really weird but I said it was no big deal in hoped that having an open mind would have me being acceptable.
My girlfriend was a little crazy as a teenager and as a result ended up in AA at 18 years old. She's now 23. She says that she has no problem with substances but when she goes to the meeting the help her in life, I guess as like structure. Anyway as she kept going to meetings the more it bothered me but after awhile she stopped going. She hasn't been to a meeting since September and we've both been fine but last night she decided to tell me that she's going to go back. Theres something about it that I can't accept. I don't like how cultish it is and how odd the members are and I don't like the stigma surrounding it. She doesn't tell anyone because she's embarrassed and I obviously don't either.
I can't accept the woman I love going to AA meetings for the rest of her life because everytime she feels down or something goes wrong she runs to a meeting. I don't feel its healthy, for her or me. We fought all night about this, I'm willing to try any other alternative (therapist,doctor etc) but she won't budge and essentially gave me an ultimatum of it's either accept it or we have to break up.
I just don't know if I'm being completely unreasonable or if she is also but I don't feel like I need to have the AA culture in my life forever. I full support her sobriety, but thats not what this is about. I don't want to break up but I don't feel its fair to have to feel discomfort or resentment every time she goes to a meeting.