T Nation

Am I an ass?

Okay… This subject is on the subject of women. If you’re a T-man, pretty decent in his physique, well educated, and fairly good looking; is it WRONG of me to not be attracted to a woman unless she is deeply involved w/ my type of lifestyle(active/weight training (and hopefully looks damn good from it?))? I mean, come on guys, our standards for our one-night-stands, and friends-with-benefits and what/not are lower than what our standards for a girlfriend are. I’m not saying that looks are everything, but they’re important for me to get started on. THEN I must find the emotional connection thingy that makes relationships last… Am I so wrong for wanting that from a GIRLFRIEND?

Nope, nothin’ wrong with that at all. My boyfriend and I share alot of common interests. We also train together, and sometimes we even read T-Mag together. He’s a chef and I’m an artist - so there’s a creative interest as well.

I know there are still people who believe in the "opposites will attract". But while that may occur, the question should be "will opposites remain together?" I was married at one time, to my "opposite" - and we're divorced now.

I also believe it's important for the sig other to be your best friend as well. But that's the best thing of all. I can hang with my best friend, wake up with my best friend - and to top it off, he's also my boyfriend. So, what you are asking of a potential sig other is not wrong at all. Just your personal preference. But, don't get too nitpicky!

I think initially it doesn’t matter whether your interests are the same or not because initial attraction (usually) physical is enough to sustain things for a while–the getting to know you time when common interests are a bonus, but not necessarily necessary(?). However, once that initial “wow” phase is over, if your significant other is really opposite of you in lifestyle and interests, you will either find yourself wanting to change them or spending a lot of time apart. If you are entrenched into a lifestyle that supports healthy eating, active living, and all that goes with it, you can’t possibly have all that much in common with someone who doesn’t. Yeah, maybe you like the same music or movies or can carry on an intellectual conversation about politics or religion, but in the end, you want to be able to do stuff together–so there has to be some common ground. And no there is nothing wrong with wanting your girlfriend to be attractive–whatever the criteria are for you.

Dude, you can want anything at all from a girlfriend – it’s simply a matter of your personal preferences and the type of girl with whom you can be happy long term.


I personally think that if more people were pickier about the people with whom they become emotionally involved on the front end there would be far fewer fractured relationships on the back end. The only one who knows what you need in a relationship is you, so think about it and pick accordingly. Out.

You have a right to whatever requirements you want. Now, if you hook up/sleep with some girl that thinks she is going to be your one and only, and you come back with “sorry sweetheart, you don’t meet my standards for a real girlfriend,” the argument could be made that you weren’t being upfront about things. Otherwise, personal preferences are personal preferences. You don’t owe anyone your interest.