Am I a Lost Cause? Can I Be Fixed?

My first year of lifting I was at 30% body fat according to the gyms “xbox controller looking” body fat messurer. After one year of cutting I achieved around 17-18% and went from 180somethng pounds to 150ish.

Ever since around fall of 2018 I’ve started to do a bulk but skip breakfast due to my enjoyment of large dinners(I’m trying to balance out the calories IIFYM style to match a clean bulk because I’m paranoid of going back to fat even though I think I already did put on a bit of fat)

The weird part is…

My weight has been going up and there have been sudden spikes without it returning to normal but the thing is, my lifts have actually been going down. My mind is always counting the reps and despising the next rep(ESPECIALLY ON SQUATS AND DEADLIFTS)

I read something about a deload and tried 3-5 days completely off. I came back and thought I would be stronger according to popular belief.
I got WAYYY weaker!!.
This was starting 2-4 months ago and ever since it’s been complete hell.
A Copy paste of my weight gain will be at the bottom, sometimes I was too ashamed to list my weight or scared to even weight myself.

Stats: 16.5year
Male
5’9/5’10
Weight : unsteady
Activity: Sluggish workouts, occasional decent workouts anywhere from 4-6 times a week and I try and take 15,000 steps daily.
Current junior in HS

Sorry if this took a long time. Please understand. Thank you. I appreicate all replies and advice

69.2 kg december 8
70.2 kg december 14
69.3 kg aka 153 Jan 5
69.3 kg aka 152.9 jan 7
70kg jan 10
69.7kg aka 153.7 jan 12
71kg aka 157 jan 14
70kg aka 154 jan 16
70.2 Aka 155 jan 19
72.3 Aka 159 or 159.2 jan 22
so far 45 days
71kg aka 156.5 jan 24
70.5kg aka 155.5 jan 25
70kg aka 154 after big poop on home scale jan 26
70.2kg aka 154.5 jan 27
71.5 kg aka 158 jan 30
71.5 aka 157.5 Feb 1
Home scale 154.5 Feb 1
71.8kg aka 158 Feb 4
159 pounds Feb 6

Maybe you don’t like lifting. If you don’t like it, and don’t want to tolerate the negative results of not liking to lift, I would suggest a different hobby.

Mental blocks come and go. Not many people are willing to overcome the mental blocks that get in the way of the consistency needed to progress. Consistency, almost entirely regardless of how you felt during the course of the consistency, will result in continued progress.

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What workout program are you on?

What did you eat yesterday?

Do you smoke or drink?

I’ll let someone with more experience answer the technical bits. Just gonna chime in and say:
People will need to see your training log
People will need to know your eating habits
People will want to know your sleeping / recovery routines

And chances are you’re not broken. You’re just doing it wrong. Which is okay. Just listen and learn.

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You probably are not a lost cause or broken.

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How are you training?

It’s best not to go 12+ hours without food if you are 16 and looking to get big and strong

My weight has been going up and there have been sudden spikes without it returning to normal but the thing is, my lifts have actually been going down.

This, might be due to this:

My mind is always counting the reps and despising the next rep(ESPECIALLY ON SQUATS AND DEADLIFTS)

You need to get your mental state right but if things get heavy quickly amd you’re grinding lotsof reps out, it’s entirely possible you are putting rubbish reps out and rubbish reps don’t get you stronger

I read something about a deload and tried 3-5 days completely off. I came back and thought I would be stronger according to popular belief.
I got WAYYY weaker!!.

Everytime you train (hard), you create some fatigue. Eventually, that fatigue will overtake your ability to perform and your lifts will become rubbish. Deloads manage that. You can take time completely off but it’s best just to reduce the weight by 25-50% and the volume by 25-50%.

You’re not going to lose anything in 3 days (unless you believe the SS mantra) but it may not have been enough time to defuse enough fatigue. Especially if you are overestimating your strength

Youre most likely just doing somethjng stupid. That’s okay, I did mostly stupid stuff at your age, right up until my 30s haha. Post your training and explain how you warm up to your first working set.

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I honestly want to lift and have a deep passion for bodybuilding but something, I dont know if it’s my cns or my body being a p**sy or my weak ass mind but my training has gone down almost every time

Ppl I usually went 6 days a week but due to life errands I do 4-5

I ate a variety of things and dont really track macros but am gaining weight while losing strength I think… HOW?

Ppl for about maybe half a year

This doesn’t tell me anything aside from how you’re structuring your split.

What is your progression scheme? How is your training structured? Sets and reps? Etc.

Without these, it’s possible you aren’t progressing because you are just working out, rather than training.

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I’m gonna guess too much volume and inadequate recovery.

I asked you what you ate yesterday.

You’re probably eating shit. You can’t out-train a bad diet. If you feel like letting me know, literally, WHAT YOU ATE YESTERDAY, maybe we can dial in your diet. If not, I’m gonna assume you eat lots of sugar, lots of processed, fried food, and not enough protein. Nobody has enough information to help you.

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Reread this OP several times… your 16 1/2 years old you have plenty of time to get things sorted out and on track.

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And another thing…

Don’t poop on your scale. Or anybody else’s.

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And another nother thing:

Is this you?

Because that looks a lot like you under a different name.

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Bruh he was dead 2 posts ago have some mercy

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Black beans, kimchi, reeses puff(lots) cashew milk, kashi golean, curry and rice(curry had meat potatoes, veggies etc), bananas, seaweed salad(heavy calories due to seasoning and oil). Protein shake 3 scoops and 1 more bannana and about 30 strawberries or more. A veggie stir fry of onions zucchini garlic etc… I usually also have a total of about 4 chicken breasts daily but yesterday I only had 1 so I had a 50g protein milkshake from the gym store. For dessert I had even more cereal. I could be forgetting some stuff

I’ve been lifting for over or about 2 years now and I’ve heard that it’s harder to build strength and muscle the longer you’ve trained

That’s not a concern at 16.

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