T Nation

Always Feeling Unemotional

Does anyone else get like this? Just not feeling ever happy or sad, etc.?

My gf is upset with me because I never show emotions. She said I never tell her I miss her, love her, etc. I guess in hindsight I’ve always been like this. Kind of a loner. I’m like this with family too.

I googled a bit about it and some things pointed to a Schizoid type personality. I just never really recognized it in myself.

OR, does my body just need a lot of estrogen to feel something? My e2 has been around 49 before on the ultrasensitive test.

I dont’ know… just talking away over here wondering if anyone else feels this way? It’s not that I’m cold. I’m just somewhat indifferent to feelings. Hard to explain. Not lovey-dovey with gf or very affectionate. Just feels foreign to me.

That fact that you posted this tells me that you have the ability to be aware of the fact that you are unemotional. That revelation alone gives you the power to change that. It may not be an imbalance of anything in particular, but simply the fact that your life has molded you into being an introvert. That’s ok. I was there once too.

Bottom line is that you have to make an effort within yourself to change that. It’s not about how you feel. It’s about consideration and respect for your significant other. If you can imagine yourself being with this girl for a long time, then you owe it to her and yourself to make a conscious effort to make her feel wanted and loved. If not, then move on and don’t waste her time.

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Are you on the spectrum?

I completely hear what you’re saying. And I definintely consider myself an introvert. Not a recluse… but just like my alone time.

Being more “emotional” for her feels so unnatural. Like forced almost. Telling her I love her doesn’t feel normal. It feels fake in a way… but I know she means the world to me.

So hard to describe.

Not quite sure. Isn’t everyone a bit on the spectrum?

I hear ya brother. You said this is a common thing for you, so it’s also possible that you could have some security issues going on? Like maybe if you say the words, it makes it real and there is a possible inert subconscious fear of being rejected.

You know, a kind of a “put your emotions out there and it’s easier for another person to trample them”, “keep them closed up inside and they stay safe” type of thing. Something to consider perhaps…

I’m saying this because I had kept myself bottled up for so long in my life that I no longer thought I could feel anything anymore. I had ignored them for so long that I didn’t even notice that they were still there. I had a pretty major incident happen a few years ago and I wound up having this exact same talk with my wife. I made an effort to start opening up to her and weirdly enough, the act of letting that out brought a literal flood of shit that I had never even realized that I had bottled up. Good and bad.

The worse thing that ever happened in my life brought out the greatest healing I ever had in my life…Think about it…

Some more than others.

This resonates a bit, but I think it’s maybe commitment issues. LIke if I say “I love you” etc., I’m now feeling the pressure to stay/keep committed. Who knows.

I guess me posting all this stuff here is wondering if maybe having more estrogen would help with the emotional side?

Sure hormones play a role…but they aren’t the “be all end all” source of WHO you are. That’s on you brother… That part is a decision that you make, either consciously or subconsciously. In my personal experience, the subconscious decision is always the one that made me an asshole or an introvert. The CONSCIOUS decision made me a better person.

In other words, I didn’t become better until I decided to become better. I made that decision and executed it while my hormones where completely out of whack. TRT came much later than this point in my life.

Kind of like the guys that they say become assholes when they cycle steroids…In reality, they were already assholes…They just amplified that with the gear.

Same rope…just a different anchor point.

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I think if you’ve always been an unemotional person then that may well come down to how you are wired as opposed to being indicative of some other issue. I mean it’s the same with people who are at the other end of the emotionality spectrum in that they may become superficially less emotional by learning to avoid emotional triggers, yet their basic emotionality potential remains the same.

I guess the best way to describe what I’m trying to get across is that there is a huge misconception, especially in America, and that is that your emotions dictate behavior. It’s why we have politicians and special interest groups that fight and argue. It’s also why terrorists blow up shit. The emotions drive the behavior. Some call it conviction. Others call it sense of dedication…Others call it self purpose…No matter what you call it. it’s the same thing. Emotion driving actions or behavior.

This is actually quite backwards, and when you realize that, you take the power back.

Hormones drive emotions, no doubt. Emotions are how we feel right? So with the misconception in place, how I feel dictates how I behave outwardly, so it’s not my fault that I’m an asshole. See where I’m going here?

Shift that paradigm 180 degrees. If I can realize that I control my behavior, then there is no longer any excuse, or in other words, I’m the only one responsible for my behavior. I admittedly have to look at myself in a light doesn’t make me feel very good, but it also gives me the power to alter that. I have to face the fact I’m to blame, but I also give myself the ability to take back control and change what I don’t like about myself.

In a nutshell, if you can realize that emotions do not drive behavior, but rather, your behavior actually drives your emotions…then brother…

The world opens up and the sky is the limit!

I hope this makes sense?

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It’s not! I’m a Capricorn, I was born an asshole! (Just a joke)

Well then you see that’s a special case. A Capricorn can’t be ANYTHING other than an asshole!! lol

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Fantastic.

Thanks

Exactly what he said.

I’m exactly the same as you. Woman just want us to be thoughtful and show them we care. Don’t start thinking your crazy and shit. Jsut don’t be selfish in a relationship.

How’s it go? men want to feel needed . woman want to feel like they are wanted.

Men and woman are like ying and yang. Imagine if every couple was sensitive and always emotional. Man that might not work.

Just be open to operating in a manner that keeps your woman happy.

Thanks.

My gf calls me lazy in relationships.

It’s hard to “step it up” and be “more”, cause it doesn’t feel natural. And sometimes I think men are just hardwired this way.

I don’t know…

I’m the same way, the wife has gotten use to it and my oldest daughter jokes that I’m a robot. Been this way since I was born. I don’t cry. Didn’t cry when I watched my mother die. Didn’t cry when my kids were born. I’m not a complete asshole though I’m good with my kids they know I love them

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You have high normal TSH, no enjoyment in life is common among those with thyroid problems. You’re barely metabolizing testosterone and while you testosterone has been good, it floats right by not doing anything.

Thanks. I am almost due for bloods on the daily protocol and will ask DR. to run TSH/thyroid again. If TSH comes back elevated again, I am going to push for a little med.