T Nation

Allow Myself to Introduce....Myself


Let me first start off by saying that I am a certified, twinkie carrying fat-ass.

I've been obese for every year of my life, save for a 2 year period during my 16th and 17th year when I figured out that girls don't show their boobies to fat guys as often as they do the in shape ones.

So at 16 I basically starved myself, drank 2 gallons of water daily and worked out/jogged until I either threw up what little I did eat or collapsed from exhaustion. Stupid I know, but effective nonetheless. I dropped from 270 to 165 in a remarkably short period of time, and of course the weight came back in a remarkably short period of time as well.

Skip to the present...I am now 27, married with a perfect wife and 2 kids under the age of 3. I weighed in at 263 this morning. That's a drop from 325 since January, but still I classify as a fat-ass. At first the weight melted off...but now it has slowed to a crawl..which is frustrating and I'm trying to plow through that nonetheless.

Now the details....

My routine now consists of walking around a lake near our house that's roughly 4 miles at least twice a day. Mid-morning I hit the gym and do what weight training I've picked up over the years...basic tricep pulldown, lat pulldown, seated rows, abs, various back excersises etc, and chest and biceps. These are all split into groups of two and alternated every other day, so I'm at the gym every day working one of those groups.

As far as the diet goes, it's most likely in even worse shape. In January I started with what was cheap and familiar. I drank slimfast with water in the morning and at 6pm which was my last "meal", then a large salad with a minimal amount of dressing and some cottage cheese for lunch.

My neanderthal brain stated that if I didn't eat, my body would respond by shedding pounds. Little Amazon kids that don't eat are skinny...so....perhaps it would work for me. Of course that's idiotic..and the more I'm reading the forums and researching I'm realizing this.

Currently, I've modified it into two eggs and one piece of whole wheat/grain toast in the morning, salad in the afternoon, and either a power bar or some fruit or nothing in the evening.

Now....for those of you cursing and wanting to reach through the monitor and smack me...I will admit that this is still an idiotic diet and I'm working to adjust it accordingly.

So, I am the beginner's beginner. Of course I want the sculpted abs and killer body. Who doesn't. I first must shed this hellacious amount of blubber that's grown so fond of me...and I'm in the process of doing that.

So..any thoughts are welcome......this is just a bit about myself so you can feel all warm and fuzzy when you see me around in the forums.

Peace and boobies,




Interesting post...



Question is, should he bulk or cut?


Let me pause here to proclaim that the lard ass in front of the computer is not me....that was supposed to be icon size by my name...and...yeah.

One other thought, I switched today from doing the ever loved 3 sets of 12 of a medium happy weight that finally gets rough at the end of the last set.....to 3 sets of whatever I was able to do at the highest weight I could accomplish. Which today, went something like 1 set of 12, 1 set of 10, and the last set of 7. As far as a "pump" goes..if fatties are allowed to use that term...it felt much better....but is this actually accomplishing anything different?

Shortly I will include the before and current photos. Some progress has been made, but not even remotely close to where I want to be. Now, as I know most of you havn't been exposed to this much lardage since your mother in law had her way with you, I suggest not eating within 30 minutes after viewing these photos when they are posted. Until then...

Peace..and BOOBIES!


My suggestion is read ALL the nutrition articles on here, especially the one's by Berardi & Shugart and perhaps look into the anabolic diet (PM me if you want the full ebook).

You are eating WAY to little, and you probably have pretty much no metabolism at this point. You need 5 meals+ every day, and I would use a low carb/high protein/moderate fat approach.

Honestly there is a lot to it, but you have to eat more, and more often.


Lol, that is hilarious.
At first when I seen the pic I though you were pretty much wasting everybody's time. I decided to read through it and now realize that it is for real.

Anyhoo, sounds like you may be serious about this. Good for you, being fat sucks, I know. Good thing is, is that it doesn't have to be that way for you at all. You need to clean up your diet though. Your not even eating enough for a little girl. You are just going to destroy your metabolism. I think the best advice I can give you is pick up a scale, and measuring cups / spoons. You need to start measuring everything that you eat so you can count the calories accurately. You seem to be doing a lot of walking and you are packing a lot of weight.

I would seriously suggest increasing your total calories up to 3000 per day. At that rate you will probably see significant weight loss for a good few months. 3000 kcal may sound like a lot, but you are big and getting a half decent amount of exercise. You will need at least that amount to keep yourself from falling apart on the inside while you are losing.
Good luck, and remember, there is no progress without struggle.


Here is a link to my fat loss log.
It will give you an example of counting calories.


You need to look at it like this. Muscle burns calories to maintain itself. The more muscle you have the more calories you will burn on a given day. Since larger muscle groups have more potential for growth than smaller muscle groups the next thing you need to ask yourself is this. Why would you spend your workout time with bis and tris lifts when you have more potential in other parts of your body.

My point is you didn't list a single leg exercise. My advice is to start squatting and deadlift.


Shameless but effective plug -


Dude - you need this.



Alright....within the last week I've gone from eating enough for a little girl..BWAH HAH...that was good..to this;

In the morning I eat two whole eggs mixed with about a third cup of shredded low sodium turkey, a third cup low-fat shredded cheddar, mixed with onions and bell peppers. Which doesn't sound like a whole helluvalot, but it actually make a pretty hefty omelet. Then a piece of low-cal bread with a spot honey on it.

A couple of hours after that I'll mix together two tablespoons of Smart Balance peanut butter with the added omega 3's, a banana, a dose of metamucil for grins and some water. Doesn't taste bad, and I would assume that would count for a meal.

After workout, two more eggs mixed with mushrooms, peppers, onions, low fat cheese, zucchini and tomatoes. Cottage cheese on the side.

After that would be a salad...and that's my new routine, for now anyway.

Now..before I get verbally molested by any of you, I realize there is considerably more to it than this, and I'm working on figuring out the calories and what not.

As my priest once said, " It only hurts the first time."

But seriously....many thanks for all of the tips and advice. I've dropped from 320 in January to 256 as of yesterday. At 6', it's not horrible, but it's still nasty. And with that..I'm off to do my last 4 miles of the day.

Peace and boobies for all,



I recommend double doses of meth for fat loss. Oh, and pull a sled wherever you go.


Get "New Rules of Lifting" by Lou Schuler and Alwyn Cosgrove. You can get it for less than $15 on Amazon, and it will help ou learn a ton. It has great lifting programs (by Alwyn Cosgrove), exercise descriptions, and even some diet info. I have made great gains using the programs.

Two other good sources are turbulence training, and everything by John Berardi.

Good luck


First and foremost, you are in the right place to obtain TONS of usefull information on everything related to losing fat and gaining muscle.

The more you read, the better equipped you will be to reach your goals. Stay positive, stay motivated.


My suggested progression. Just a starting point. You have to think in terms of progression, like "How am I gonna make my workouts harder/smarter over time to reach my goals as I continue to get closer to them?"

-Light weights higher volume workouts 2x/week using manageable loads and impeccable form. YouTube, etc, for form. Light cardio as often as you can stand it. Walk the stairs...park farther away...etc.

Count calories and don't underestimate how much you need to lose weight (not a typo)...if you're losing 1-2 pounds a week, stick with that number. Could be a vast range, so figure it out!

(See: Tailor-made nutrition, for a great example)

*Then: Work in some mobility work and stretching (google or T-Nation search for mobility drills

-Gradually up your overall volume, add weight, progress...push your comfort zone safely. Do not necessarily stick with by-the-letter programs here, do what feels good and lets you progress performance-wise in the gym.

-Transition into a third workout, still lower-intensity and higher-volume. Sometime around this time, add in neural activation work. This is easier than it sounds. See Eric Cressey, Mike Robertson, Tony Gentilcore, etc, for ideas: glute activation (bridges)...etc, etc, etc. The neural activation work is VERY important!

You have to balance out those misused/disused/underused muscles under that blubber to get fit and healthy, let alone look good.

-Begin to regiment your intensity more, and by this time (I'm guessing 6-8 months from now, could be more or less though) you should really be impressing yourself as you've added a couple pounds a week to all lifts. Stay safe, but take it up a notch. Start playing with some heavy weight. Maybe cut your calories a bit more, maybe not - do what feels good and works. Heck, add in some HIIT if you need to.

To burn off your last 10, 20, 30, whatever pounds...go with some hardcore recommendations from Alwyn Cosgrove. Maybe even use a hardcore diet. Use HOT-ROX. Have fun!

Throughout this time, I would definitely recommend reading articles and maybe slowly applying the recommendations, but mainly go by what you feel comfortable with. This will be a slow, but effective process. You will know when you're ready. By the same token, don't listen to everyone who "knows what you need to do."

-Stick with the mobility and activation work, but shape your workout around what works regarding your goals. Despite what people may tell you here, it is

A) Possible to lose fat more quickly if you're obese
B) Possible to lose fat and gain muscle and strength simultaneously, especially if you're obese
C) Definitely possible to go from HUGE to lean and fit!

Some other ideas...
-Keep a training log. In your case, a food log would be good too til ya learn how to keep mental track (daily) of calories. Don't eat cheat meals. Use your log to track your weaknesses.

I would suggest doing whatever works, but transitioning to total body training, even "light" total body training, ASAP. Dan John also has some good "beginner" type articles (which, ironically, are good for 'most any lifter).

Oh, one more thing, don't get into this "I have to have a training partner/blog/significant other/forum/website/supplement/whatever to reach my goals." Your goals are for YOU. If it helps a bit, fine, but be independent and dedicated. Make this your lifestyle. You can do it. Don't anchor yourself unnecessarily to other people and then depend on them for your success.


BTW, up to 3-3.5 pounds is ok for a while for you, I should add.

I also read a bit more about your workout. Stick with my recommendations (if you want) for 2x/week volume, and progress with cardio. If the 2x/week workouts are total body, and include some real leg work, you will be okay with that for at least a couple months IMO.

Good luck! PM me if you want to tell me what you thought of my suggestions :slight_smile: