I'd call Randy Quaid. Because honetly, look at Independence Day.
I was watching it the other day, and its the part where the President is rounding up pilots for the counterattack against the aliens.
So Randy Quaid is all drunk, and he's going, "Yea, I flew in Vietnam, blah blah blah...and ever since I got abducted by aliends, I've been waiting for a chance to get the sons of bitches back". At this point, all the offficers and everybody roll their eyes and kind of laugh at him, like, "look at this fucking freak, talking about getting abducted by aliens".
Well what the fuck guys. You're getting attacked by fucking aliens. Why the hell is it still so strange that this guy is saying he's got abducted by them? They just blew up the friggin White House, and that didn't strike anyone as weird, but no, this guys says he's been abducted and everybody's like, " Wow this guy is such an freak".
Maybe if they had listened to drunks like Randy Quaid, you wouldn't be in this boat in the first place. No, they'd have a super radiation gun that can not only kill the aliens, but eat their souls and blow up the Death Star, and the White House would be fine. But no, they laughed; And now the White House is gone and they're hiding under a rock. Who was really the ass here?
Sorry. That's been on my mind since I saw the movie...ahh the incongrouancies of Independence Day.