I can confirm this to be 100% factual, I briefly thought that I might be enjoying today’s cardio then I hit the 4 minute mark and realised it sucks as much as ever. I also lied to myself many times today during my cardio and ended up paying my debt off (I hate debt).
Did my normal 6.5 for X minutes (13 this time) then increased up 0.1mph every minute. I told myself at the beginning it’d be nice to clear the debt, about 7 mins in I knew it wouldn’t be possible (I’m struggling through a minor cold and clearing my throat incessantly trying to breath) got to 20 mins at 7.2mph and just kept going, just because I’m a fun guy I ramped the last 2 mins as well, felt sick and sweating profusely, not sure why I did this… My calves hurt. Cardio sucks - also check my rhr this am, mid 80s so cardio might just suck because I’m still grossly unfit. (3 weeks was enough to lose all semblance of CV fitness so I’m basically 2 weeks in again).
B/o row: 60kg X 8, 70kg X 5, 80, 90kg, 102.5kg X 3
S/s
Bench: 60kg X 8, 70kg X 5, 80, 90kg X 3, 102.5kg X 5 (couldn’t get comfortable at all benching today)
Cable row (straight handle): 80kg X 20 X 3
S/s
Slingshot bench: 110kg X 6 X 3
Inc dB bench: 25, 30, 35kg X 8
Lat pulldown: 80kg X 15 X 3
Ng chins: 8, 8, 8
Dips : 20, 20, 20
Felt a bit better coming into this, managed to get some more volume in and it didn’t take an entire afternoon!
I’m glad to hear that things are on the up. I hope that continues this year!
Interesting on the “gotcha day.” I know when mine is and am sincerely glad my parents never tried celebrating it with me. To me it seems like a second opportunity during the year to feel terrible about myself. But don’t let me bring you down, haha.
Well it won’t bring me down, but to be honest I personally focused more on gotcha day this time because only a few days previously, your email suggested that you wished your parents had done more to build your identity around your birth country. (That was my interpretation, anyway).
So on her day, we looked at all the pictures we have, and went through her story several times, making it all very positive. She seemed to emotionally connect with us really well after that, and that date marks a turnaround (possible coincidence, I admit) in her general level of emotional stability and connection.
All this being said I know there are big differences between her story and yours, possibly that’s part of it? Would love to hear your thoughts, and happy to take this to email if you’d prefer.
You’re right in that I wish my family celebrated my birth culture. They did absolutely nothing and, in my opinion, had a more hostile rather than neutral opinion. I think at a young age, integrating those cultural elements as an exploratory element can be positive. It sounds like you’re doing that. How the child responds can certainly change with age.
There are several potential issues with gotcha day though. I realize this might not be your intention, but it’s a celebration of trauma. Adoption is a funny thing because its ambiguous loss typically escapes acknowledgement. Think about it – not only do we not celebrate the deaths of family members and friends, but we also grieve and earn support from those who care about us in the form of funerals, sympathy cards, and other rituals. Adoptees haven’t “earned” permission from society, and in most cases also from their adoptive family, to grieve. Gotcha day exacerbates this by celebrating the trauma. I’m not suggesting to have a make-shift funeral for your daughter’s biological roots, but this is important to understand.
Also, think about how “gotcha” sounds. It is very possessive. It’s uncomfortable. It’s a way for parents to feel good about having gotten a child who fits their desires/needs on top of suppressing a child’s trauma. Not to mention in a more joking way it suggests trickery or deception, which is all too common in adoption at the family and global level.
Society loves the adoption fairy tale, and adoptees are expected to feel grateful at all costs. Anything else is reprehensible. I don’t think you’re necessarily doing things wrong, especially given the recent positive changes. You clearly are already doing a better job than my adoptive parents ever did in this regard! Ultimately though I have no room to critique anyone’s parenting methods in any situation, as I have never been a parent myself. I simply personally think these things should be considered as your daughter ages and, maybe one day, by society in general.
Happy to elaborate more via email. Sorry for hijacking the log, @alex_uk.
No such thing in this log! Thanks for the insight and honesty, not an easy thing to do “publicly”. I’m curious, and feel free to ignore or tell me I’m being insensitive, this comment:
Is this strictly in regards to the biological cultural side of things or has your experience been negative overall? Or is that too simplistic of a question and it simply not possible to boil down a life time of experience in such a way? (Assuming the second part).
Also I’m not implying this below quote, by asking the above question:
What part of the day was this? Mine is in the high 40s or low 50s first thing in the morning. It’s running at 62 right now and it’s 1235. Your performance on the treadmill and your resting HR do not agree.
That was first thing this morning, with a blood pressure collar, I didn’t check it manually. I’ll have a manual check in a minute. I’ve got a cold on the way, if I recall correctly then that can increase the by about 10bpm?
This is very insightful, thank you for bringing it up.
I see the truth of this statement. Thank you for saying it.
Any other comments I have will need to wait until I’m at a computer and have time, but I appreciate your candor and look forward to hearing more from you.
I had COVID a couple of weeks ago and when my symptoms were worst my average heart rate while I slept went up to the mid 70s whereas usually it’s about 50. These were measured with my Fitbit though so I don’t know how accurate they are. But yeah, it seems like being ill will bump your RHR up a bit.
Sorry to hear, that assuming all is well now? That’s quite a jump (even if the FB wasn’t accurate if both measures were taken from it we can probably assume the increase was somewhere in the correct ball park).
Mines definitely nothing more nefarious than a very minor col, which probably isn’t impacting my rhr much, I manually checked last night 72, a bit more like it. I think I run higher than most I’m general, I remember being around 80/85 as a lazy sedentary but skinny youth. I don’t think even at peak CV fitness I get below 60, we’ll see if I can improve the CV fitness below previous bests this year and hit 50!
Yeah all good now thanks. Worst thing was aching and tiredness, like random aches in my legs and stuff, really weird. I found it interesting to monitor my heart rate though, I’m a total nerd for this sort of stuff.
As another n=1 data point, my RHR (again according to FB) is usually around 50ish but I don’t think I could do a lot of the cardio stuff you do. It probably matters more how it varies compared to your baseline than the actual number itself.
Haha I think you overestimate my cardio abilities, that 30 mins “run” the other day might be the most cardio I’ve done in decades. The only reason I achieved it is because on a treadmill you either run or fall off, the fact that it pushes you is massive in me achieving it haha.
Yes quite possibly, really must take my pulse when I’m hammering it one day, bet I’m way above the safe maximums (what is that again 220 minus age? Bet I’m more like 220 plus age haha).
Yeah I think so. I used to always try to get my heart rate as high as possible but never don’t think I could get to the 220-age mark. That’s probably a case of pushing through the pain more than I did though.
