Alcohol Problem

You are what is called a “periodic drunk.” Saying you aren’t, won’t change it. Accept it or continue to rationalize it. Your choice Mate.

You got the advice you requested. Use it or not. No difference to us. However, continuing to deny it doesn’t make any sense.

Quit drinking in bars. Thats why there’s the temptation to keep ordering more. Do what I do. Drink at home by yourself, and don’t have more than just a few beverages in the house. Then you can’t have more than a few.

[quote]tveddy wrote:
Quit drinking in bars. Thats why there’s the temptation to keep ordering more. Do what I do. Drink at home by yourself, and don’t have more than just a few beverages in the house. Then you can’t have more than a few.[/quote]
It also helps if you drink by yourself when no one else is around. Especially if you do it during the day and not in the evenings.

[quote]jay711 wrote:
Canadianrigpig wrote:
Your a drunk. No offense, but that’s life. I was too. I gave up Liqueur 2.5 yrs ago when I realized that I could not control my habits. It’s a hard call to make & admit that it is a problem especially when your buddies are bugging you. Good luck w/ it though.

Hi Canadianrigpig, thanks for the reply.
I am not a drunk… like I said I am not addicted to the stuff…I can easily go weeks without drinking… my problem is that when I do drink I don’t stop till I’m drunk![/quote]

If drinking causes problems, then you have a drinking problem. It doesn’t matter if you drink every night or once a year. If you get drunk every time you drink, then you have a problem.

I’ve been there. Admitting the problem was the hardest part.

Keep trying to “moderate” if you like. The truth will become clear to you in time.

Good Luck,
Scott

From the AA website

this is A.A. General Service Conference-approved literature

This leaflet is intended for people approaching Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) for the first time. In it we have tried to answer the questions most frequently in the minds of newcomers?the questions which were in our minds when we first approached the Fellowship.

Am I an alcoholic?
If you repeatedly drink more than you intend or want to, if you get into trouble, or if you have memory lapses when you drink, you may be an alcoholic. Only you can decide. No one in A.A. will tell you whether you are or not.

What can I do if I am worried about my drinking?
Seek help. Alcoholics Anonymous can help.

I know in today’s social climate the PC thing to say is you are an alcholic, stop drinking before you hurt yourself or someone else. And there is some truth to that.

But have you tried changing your behaviour through some practice?

Odds are you began drinking as a binge drinker, its how you actually learned drinking and now are having problems breaking that behaviour.

Try drinking in situations that dont promote binging. Have a couple beers at home then call it a night. Have some wine or a couple of drinks out at dinner and then stop there.

Stay away from bars and parties for a while and see if you can teach yourself to stop before you plunge into drunkeness. Learn to recognize the signs of needing to slow down or stop drinking during the night, because they are there.

Basically teach yourself how to drink like an adult and not a teenager. Just dont repeat the same behaviour and hope for different results.

If you make an honest attempt and still cant control it then give it up completely, because binging can lead to nasty legal, health and personal issues.

Heres what we used to do at Uni:

Take enough money out for so many beers. Dont take any cards out with you either. Put your taxi money in your back pocket.

When you’ve drank as much as you allowed for thats it, cant buy any more beers, time to go home.

Don’t listen to anyone who tells you to control it. You have a starting and stopping problem.

I’m a recovering alcoholic. I can help you only if you want to quit. You are giving that justification as all alcoholics do.

Alcoholics are in constant pursuit of trying to prove to themselves they are a normal drinker. Try only 1 beer, and if you can do this more than once goo on you. Alcoholics try to mix it up. Switching alcohol forms, every other day, only weekends, only ata bars etc. We are in constant pusuit of the NORMAL.

When we control it, we don’t enjoy it. and when we enjoy it, it’s too much.

It’s not the end to admit you have a problem, but it is the beginning of bettering yourself if you do. Denial and justifcation keep us from escaping alcohol.

You noted a lot of parallels to my train of thought before i did anything about it.

[quote]Ashes wrote:
Heres what we used to do at Uni:

Take enough money out for so many beers. Dont take any cards out with you either. Put your taxi money in your back pocket.

When you’ve drank as much as you allowed for thats it, cant buy any more beers, time to go home.[/quote]

WRONG.

[quote]Angrypenguin wrote:
Try drinking in situations that dont promote binging. Have a couple beers at home then call it a night. Have some wine or a couple of drinks out at dinner and then stop there.

Stay away from bars and parties for a while and see if you can teach yourself to stop before you plunge into drunkeness. Learn to recognize the signs of needing to slow down or stop drinking during the night, because they are there.

Basically teach yourself how to drink like an adult and not a teenager. [/quote]
This is WRONG too. The only person who can help an alcoholic IS a recovering alcoholic, plain and simple. You are explaining exactly everything alcoholics have already tried, but have failed. If you need to monitor and control, it’s out of control.

Your suggestion will only frustrate the drinker more.

[quote]panther2k wrote:
tveddy wrote:
Quit drinking in bars. Thats why there’s the temptation to keep ordering more. Do what I do. Drink at home by yourself, and don’t have more than just a few beverages in the house. Then you can’t have more than a few.
It also helps if you drink by yourself when no one else is around. Especially if you do it during the day and not in the evenings.

[/quote]

The best place to drink alone in your house is in a closet.

Rockscar, its seems like you had a problem and found your solution to your problem was abstinence. I applaud you and hope you are happy, but it doesnt mean it applies to everyone.

Every day people correct their behaviors, whether it be the way they eat, excercising more, organizing work habits and drinking alcohol.

He obviously isnt physically addicted to alcohol meaning that his addiction is behavioral. People transition from the binge drinking that is typical in high school and college to social drinking every day. Some people have problems with it and some find they cannot do it and have to give up alcohol all together.

No matter what pop psych wants you to believe, not everyone that has a problem one time in their life with alcohol is an alcoholic.

My friend had a similar problem. He has a social phobia, which made him shy and uncomfortable in groups of people. He didn’t drink that often, but when he had a beer or two it would made him feel more comfortable and sociable. Without knowing it he would drink more and more to keep that feeling, which meant that when he did drink he would end up drinking way to much. Which led to the usual problems. His solution: stop drinking and seek help for the social issues.

Don’t know if you have the same problem, but thats what he did.

[quote]Jonny5 wrote:
My friend had a similar problem. He has a social phobia, which made him shy and uncomfortable in groups of people. He didn’t drink that often, but when he had a beer or two it would made him feel more comfortable and sociable. Without knowing it he would drink more and more to keep that feeling, which meant that when he did drink he would end up drinking way to much. Which led to the usual problems. His solution: stop drinking and seek help for the social issues.

Don’t know if you have the same problem, but thats what he did.[/quote]

Wow, if I didn’t know that none of my friends lifted, I’d swear you were talking about me.

My problem is actually that I don’t quite know my limits anymore. I’ve lost a shit load of weight and I don’t drink very often. The good thing for me is that I don’t drink beer, so generally whatever liquor I bring with me is all I have.

I run into trouble when I play liquor pong (my variation of beer pong) and drink too much too fast. I think I’m addicted to that game, if anything. My friends obviously don’t mind when I puke on furniture because they don’t watch my intake.

I actually have no problem stopping, but since the alcohol fucks with my meds, I get really anxious after the buzz wears off. This leads me to make sure that, if I drink, I stay drunk until I go to bed.

Anyway, to the OP:

If you can’t learn to control yourself, you shouldn’t drink. Make a conscious effort to limit your intake to a set amount; if you can’t do that, you are indeed an alcoholic.

[quote]Jonny5 wrote:
My friend had a similar problem. He has a social phobia, which made him shy and uncomfortable in groups of people. He didn’t drink that often, but when he had a beer or two it would made him feel more comfortable and sociable. Without knowing it he would drink more and more to keep that feeling, which meant that when he did drink he would end up drinking way to much. Which led to the usual problems. His solution: stop drinking and seek help for the social issues.

Don’t know if you have the same problem, but thats what he did.[/quote]

Correct. Right on the money here

I think it’s downright insulting to tell the OP they have a drinking problem over the internet without knowing him personally.

This is a fairly common problem for shy people (myself included). It can be overcome fairly easily with a little bit of knowledge, coaching and will power.

Cant believe some of the crap people were spewing previously. You’d think the OP spent all day on the park bench sipping carlsberg special brew and white lightning.

[quote]Jonny5 wrote:
My friend had a similar problem. He has a social phobia, which made him shy and uncomfortable in groups of people. He didn’t drink that often, but when he had a beer or two it would made him feel more comfortable and sociable. Without knowing it he would drink more and more to keep that feeling, which meant that when he did drink he would end up drinking way to much. Which led to the usual problems. His solution: stop drinking and seek help for the social issues.

Don’t know if you have the same problem, but thats what he did.[/quote]

Hey Jonny5,
I think you hit the nail right on the head with your comment.
I feel really uncomfortable when it comes to social interaction.
The alcohol makes me feel more confident and more sociable.
I don’t have a physical addiction to alcohol… I don’t need a drink when I wake up in the morning… but if I have to attend an evening dinner with my work colleagues for instance I do need alcohol.
The question is how do I go about solving it??

It’s been said before but again, you don’t need to have a “physical addiction” to be an alcoholic. There are a lot of people who have utterly screwed up their lives because of alcohol without ever having “the shakes.”

Reread Rockscar’s post. If you are grasping for a “fix” other than realizing alcohol is a major problem, the bottom line is you’re probably not ready to quit. Unfortunately, you’re probably not going to find any other solution. On the other hand, if you’re not ready, that’s the way it is, period, and I wish you the best.

I went through every system one could come up with. They’ll all work, for awhile… maybe a week, maybe six months.

I had to lose a few things in my life, and go through a lot of denial, before I stopped drinking. It’s immensely difficult. One of my problems was that I always kept things together professionally and could separate myself from boozehounds who talked about “losing things.” At some point it becomes clear that the stakes will continue to go up as far as the consequences of not being able to control one’s drinking.

If you don’t have a drinking problem, then I hope no offense taken… go on, live life, prove me wrong. On the other hand, all I’ll finish with is this: I’m a big “fan” of logic and learning… and they were my greatest barrier in dealing with my drinking problem. You can’t control your drinking with brainpower, and if you’re figuring out ways to do so, it’s not the best sign.

[quote]jay711 wrote:
I am not an alcoholic… I can control when I drink, just not how much I drink…
I can easily go months without drinking if I decide to[/quote]

I used to say the exact same thing. A close call with a cop pulling out the breathalyzer(.07, limit .08) and then this website and learning how testosterone functions, what it does and how alcohol affects it, lead me to being a social drinker who barely has a beer or two nowadays.

Got to prioritize in life. Negative habits lead to negative consequences and situations. Trust me. Been there done that.

[quote]Angrypenguin wrote:

Odds are you began drinking as a binge drinker, .[/quote]

Thats exactly how it started for me. Being a teenager and then in college, didnt have to worry about driving consequences becuase I always drank at a house/apartment/dorm. You get comfortable like that and before you know it, it gets out of hand.

Either:

Quit drinking. I did, used to be an alcho and then said “fuk it” and went to AA twice and said “fuk that” and just started lifting in the evenings instead.

OR

Move to Australia or Ireland. If you’re a beer man then hit belgium maybe. If you’re gonna do something do it with other great people who do it too.

You’ve got a problem, no two ways about it. Control it or embrace it.

“do or do not, there is no try.”

-chris